#sleep journal

Since I’m starting that new medication soon, Doc wanted me to keep track of any symptoms I developed in this journal as part of the sleep study he’s running on me.

I’m a bit nervous about the side effects that he mentioned, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already entered the hallucinations stage of no sleep so it can’t get too much worse, right?

Gotta love chain nightmares where you keep waking up and you know you are still in it and part of the nightmare is being unable to wake up probably and escape it and the demon that has trapped you there.

Because now I don't want to go back to sleep. But the melatonin pill I took earlier is making it hard not too.

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In depth summary of nightmare: I doubt quite remember the first 2 nightmares (their a bit jumbled - something about hills, long lanes, and girls with umbrellas?? in one and tvs in the other?) But I wake up in a large apartment that has a large common kitchen and then lots of separate "houses". Each "house" has it's own living room, bedroom, etc. After leaving my room, my sister and I are in the kitchen, washing dishes, when things start going haywire. The electronics start not working. I turn around and my sister's large dog is suddenly two. I know that's not right. Something evil is trying to hide itself as the dog but can't take over or get rid of the dog so he/it simply tries to copy the dog.

I rush after my sister who is going down the hall to our front (or maybe back door?) "To fix things" and I'm asking her what she thinks she can do. I turn at a noise and a doll (looking like the Samantha American Girl doll) is toddling toward us.

I scream, "wake up wake up wake up" . And I do....right into another nightmare. I'm in my actual apartment I live in and stumble to my sister's room but I passed the dog once just to find more copies in my sister's bed, sleeping beside her. I know this is wrong, that I'm awake yet, so I grab my sister and try shaking her. She's not waking up.

The dogs run away and I hear noises behind me, crinkling static (a noise i associate with demons/dark entities, btw, from one instance back in high school where i lived in a horribly haunted/evil house) and I'm panicking. I'm telling at my sister to wake up, both at her and at me. I slap her face a couple of times and her eyes finally snap open and I frantically tell her she needs to wake up and then come WAKE ME UP. There's too many dogs, it's not right, I know it isn't right.

She seems confused and I worriedly ask her how many dogs she has. She answers, "you have 3. Or is it 4 now?" And I'm like "no no no no, remember, YOU only have one. One Trixxie, that's it." And then her eyes turn angry and she starts screaming in a voice not her own, "you wooe me up and you weren't supposed to, so now you'll be stuck here!"

But then I do wake up - into another dream. And this time, I'm outside and I'm trying to say the Phrase (the only thing that's ever consistantly gotten me out of these nightmares) but I keep slurring the words, saying the wrong phrases, and the charm from my necklace in my hand isn't quite right. And I see images of confusing snippets of people? Walking around? Talking? I can't quite remember but then I finally wake up.

For real this time. In the dark. It's just before 3am. The cat is sleeping next to me. The dog isn't on the floor by my bed. It's dark. And I fumble for my phone to get light and noise that I can control into the room.

Conked Out: 12:30am

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Conked Out: 2:28 AM

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Conked Out: 1:37 AM

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️

Conked Out: 2:45 AM

Dreams: Yawp

I can’t really fully make sense of the whole thing but I remember it seemed to be something sexual or related to that. There’s a small dark room in my dream, maybe a kitchen where I stayed. There were other people but all of their faces are hazy to me now.

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️

Woke up rested but definitely tired when my alarms rang, this was on me again I stayed up reading manhwa then switched to a book until I got too tired to keep my eyes open. Honestly since that first month (January) when my sleep schedule wasn’t shot yet while I was trying to improve it, is so difficult to get back on to. I think it’s because uni gives me a lot of feelings I haven’t sorted through and the stress keeps me awake because I’m scared of facing the next day. Not new but I really want better to sleep because better sleep means >>> waking up more prepared and rested for school and life; having better brain functioning and processing throughout the day and overall just a better mood!!