#entry 1

“ it’s been awhile since I’ve heard anything from mom and dad.. jewel has been visiting more often, yet quiet. More quiet than usual. I know she still live with them..and I can’t help but wonder, are they doing anything to jewel..? It sounds..absurd, I know, yet it seems to be proving my theory even more…maybe I should ask Darla about that? They seem to be good as solving cases..or at least proving theories, whatever you want to call it…Even so, I hope every day that it isn’t true, but nonetheless the truth seems to expand everytime I think it’s a lie.

It scares me.

Then it leads to my second question.. is jewels doing anything to herself? It possibly seems more…confirming than my first. Jewels has always been the more…self destructive one, a new bruise or scratch everyday. It wouldn’t be surprise…but it would be concerning. VERY concerning. I love jewels, and I know that I had always been the more favorited child than the both of us. And it hurts. It’s my little sister, I’m suppose to protect her…and yet here I am, working at this ‘freak show’…or so that’s what Darla calls it, haha!…but nonetheless, I hope she’s alright..

My hand hurts…

I’ll write again sometime soon. For now…I’ll just keep an eye.

Yours truly,

-Rylee Mascot.”

I begin this journal with a statement, I believe there are other forms of sentient life out there in the cosmos. The goal of this journal will be to prove said statement. It is to be known that as of now the only sentient species known to Orbunkind is ourselves. 

Now why might I be seeking to answer this question? For myself I have always held a belief in things others might deem supernatural. It began when I was a mere kit living in the Latchkey Mountains north of where I currently reside, hearing the folk stories of the region. My obsession with those stories eventually led me to get my Princess in Philosophy in folklore from Orne University, where I currently teach. 

have you heard your heart breaking?

I did, today.

in a whisper from the stars-

which said the man with a voice like the dawn, 

couldn't be mine.

did you ever love someone so much,

that you would want to defy fate for them?

I heard my reason to do that

in a song I heard

when the world was teaching me I had to be cruel.

a million options I could have had,

and I had to fall

for your star-studded eyes.

now the only promise I got

was a man who would love me just the same.

a calm one,

where love feels like he woke up every day and chose me.

where we throw shade at each other,

but have each other’s back at the end of the day.

i think I'd wake into a life

where every first bite of whatever he eats will be for me,

he'd bring me flowers

even when I said I don't like them.

and he wouldn't stand any disrespect toward me.

our children will see their father as their hero—

just like I see mine.

all because my mom chose well.

but in the depths of the night,

all I’d dream about would be

the boy who could’ve been.

the boy who almost was,

but the stars didn’t align.

the boy who held me in the silence of knowing,

by the window where I put up my pain

for the world to see—and laugh at.

the boy I had almost cried with in a library,

in another reality,

knowing fate can't stitch together

what our hearts pulled apart.

it would be you. always.

with your stupid jokes,

and your crybaby heart.

and all the words you didn’t say—

because you’d rather carry the pain into tomorrow than let it breathe here.

and maybe, in another life,

where were have a chance to speak all we didn't,

i would be the stranger who reaches for your hand in a crowded train station,

and the one who sits by you during a thunderstorm,

whispering,

"this feels like a song we used to sing."

in that life,

i won't be asking the stars for permission, 

nor would I write them poetry,

begging them to rearrange.

i would walk to you - intentionally,

like no distance could stop me.

because I've loved you across too many timelines

to let one unlucky one have the final say.

so, if this life writes us apart,

may the next one write us home.

and someday you'll get to ask me again,

"do you believe in fate?" -Cue a grin.

and I'd ask,

"is that your strongest line?"

and this time-