#slaughter

Here’s a fanfiction that is not “Three’s Company” themed, but of a TV show that was on the air during the same time “Three’s Company” was.

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In the 1990’s and even the 2000’s, MTV used to have these TV specials called Rock n Jock where celebrities---whether they made music or not---would play sports like baseball, basketball, softball and football for charity.

MTV wasn’t the only one doing this, the World Wrestling Federation in the 1990’s also had charity softball games of their wrestlers playing the sport.

In 1992, several rock stars such as Warrant’s Jani Lane, Alice in Chains’ Layne Staley, Trixter’s PJ Farley and Pete Loran, White Lion’s Mike Tramp and many more played softball for the TJ Martell foundation charity.

 Hair metal may have been usurped by grunge in 1992, but there still were some hair metal rock stars participating in charity events.

There were even hair metal singers playing softball for MTV’s “Rock and Jock” specials in 1993 and 1994!

During the TJ Martell foundation in 1992 (or, for those choosing the WWF, the WWF’s charity softball game in 1996 during WWF Xperience), you were wearing a red short sleeved shirt that read “WKRP in Cincinnati” in white letters on the chest with matching red short dolphin shorts.

The outfit you wore was a replica of the outfit Loni Anderson wore on a “WKRP in Cincinnati” episode where they played baseball.

The rock stars at the TJ Martell Foundation in 1992 participating in that charity were Trixter’s Pete Loran, PJ Farley and Steve Brown, Slaughter’s Mark Slaughter and Blas Elias, Kip Winger from Winger, White Lion’s Mike Tramp, Tora Tora’s Keith Douglas, Skid Row’s Rob Affuso, LA Guns’ Phil Lewis, an Anthony Kiedis lookalike actor named Phil Buckman and actor Harold Pruett as well as Warrant’s Jani Lane, Layne Staley of Alice in Chains, Marq Torien from late 1980’s band the Bulletboys and many more.

(Author’s Note: Some of those men I listed really did participate in the TJ Martell Foundation’s softball game in 1992)

The wrestlers in the WWF’s charity softball game at WWF Xperience in 1996 were Shawn Michaels, Leif Cassidy, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and more.

As you approached on this baseball field wearing your red Loni Anderson outfit, men in the bleachers were catcalling, cheering and whistling at you.

Several of those rock stars and actors on the field at the TJ Martell foundation like Mark Slaughter, Pete Loran, PJ Farley, Mike Tramp, Keith Douglas and Kip Winger were smiling and whistling at you and checking you out with their eyes.

Even actors Phil Buckman and Harold Pruett were smiling and checking you out.

Shawn Michaels, Leif Cassidy, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Brian Pillman, and Billy Gunn were all smiling and whistling at you.

All of those listed men had their long hair hanging down and not tied back in ponytails, just the way you liked them.

As you approached closer to these listed men standing in the middle of the baseball diamond, with a smirk on your face you asked them if you could play with their balls.

What you asked made their eyes grow wide.

You weren’t referring to baseballs when asking about their balls.

While standing in front of Mark Slaughter and then slowly sauntering to PJ Farley (if it’s wrestlers, it’s Shawn Michaels, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Leif Cassidy), when you stood close enough for your fingers to slowly walk up their chests and still keeping that smirk on your face you added that you’d love to have first, 2nd, 3rd base and homerun with these men, and you weren’t talking about baseball.

You sounded sexy when you asked if you could play with their balls and love to have 1st, 2nd, 3rd base and homerun with them.

In slang terms, the baseball bases metaphor refers to 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is fondling breasts or other places on the body, 3rd base is touching below the waist and of course home run is sex.

Some of those rock stars and wrestlers knew what you meant by these baseball metaphors.

That’s exactly what they wanted to do to you.

“If there’s grass on the field, play ball” said Shawn Michaels/Kip Winger, referring to you.

What he said got cheers and applause from the other men surrounding them.

Luckily you are a pubescent grown adult woman.

Brian Pillman would’ve said that to you.

PJ Farley wore a baseball jersey in a photo from during Trixter's, Firehouse's and Warrant's Blood, Sweat and Beers tour in 1991 (this tour really existed and so did this picture), and with your arms wrapped around PJ's waist you told him you wanted to slip your arms into his as well as these other men's baseball jerseys while they were wearing them, if that was possible.

Either way, when Leif Cassidy (and Mark Slaughter) were at the bat ready to hit the ball, you were standing in the middle of the baseball diamond shouting “Hello, little rocker batter!”

You said “rocker” was referring to the name of the team Mark Slaughter/Leif Cassidy was playing on.

An angry Ahmed Johnson (or Layne Staley) shouted “What’s goin’ on?”

Shawn Michaels (or Jani Lane) explained that you were the center fielder and she’s just playing a little tight.

With that, the game began.

You greeted “Yoo hoo!” and waved to Mark Slaughter and Shawn Michaels at the bat, which made Shawn/Mark smile and be completely distracted over you and made them miss the ball flying towards.

They didn’t hit the ball, they were distracted by your beauty.

When Kip Winger and Savio Vega threw the baseball towards the batter, you were posing and demonstrating next to Kip/Savio like how Loni was posing and demonstrating in that baseball episode.

The other batter you were distracting and flirting with this time was Pete Loran/Bret Hart.

Pete/Bret did miss the ball at first, but he did try to hit the ball when it approached him.

While PJ Farley/Hunter Hearst Helmsley was now the batter, and after the pitcher threw a ball to PJ, you blew a kiss to PJ like how Loni blew a kiss and smiled in “WKRP in Cincinnati”’s baseball episode.

PJ/Hunter of course smiled and was distracted over you flirting with him, which made him miss the ball.

Speaking of smiling, you smiled at PJ after he smiled at you, you were imitating Loni Anderson.

When you were now at the bat, Rob Affuso/Brian Pillman was now the pitcher where he threw a ball at you.

After you hit the ball with your bat, you scurried off to first base.

Keith Douglas from Tora Tora/Hunter Hearst Helmsley was crouching down behind you when you were at the bat, where he removed his umpire mask off his face to look at you while you ran to first base.

Mark/Hunter was distracted, which caused the other players on the team to shout “Get the ball!” at him.

Once PJ Farley was at the bat again, you stood on the middle of the baseball field where you turned around sticking your ass out with a smile on your face and a hand on your hip, imitating when Loni Anderson stood by the pitcher in that episode.

However, PJ was not distracted over what you were doing to him and he managed to hit the ball successfully.  

Then when it was your turn at the bat while Kip/Brian Pillman was the pitcher, someone shouted “Concentrate, Kip/Brian!”.

While you were at the bat, you stood there holding the baseball bat down where it touched the ground when one hand was on your hip while Kip/Brian threw the ball towards the bat.

You were imitating and posing how Loni/Jennifer was holding the bat in this “WKRP in Cincinnati” episode.

Go watch the episode online if you haven’t seen it.

“Concentrate!” another player shouted at Kip/Brian.

You stood there fluffing your hair while holding down the baseball bat like how Loni held it to the ground and not up in the air.

You rotated sideways when Kip threw the ball, which caused the ball to miss the bat.

It may have been a foul ball, but you strutted down to the 1st baseball base instead of running.

This caused lots of these sexy listed hair metal musicians, actors and wrestlers to whistle at you.

When someone was at the bat, you greeted “Oh, Mr. 2nd baseman!” to Pete Loran/Shawn Michaels, where you smiled and waved at them.

Pete/Shawn turned their heads to look at you, where your finger made a “come here” motion with a smile on your face.

After the batter hit the bat, you ran off the base and then said “Bye bye!” when you ran past Shawn/Pete.

Not only does pro wrestling have beautiful female managers and valets sexily distracting wrestling opponents, now baseball has them too.

There's other wrestlers you wish could've played on this baseball team with you, like Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, ECW's Nova, and Scott Hall.

Too bad they're in other wrestling companies.

In 1996, Sunny was the most popular woman and female sex symbol in the WWF, so much she was the most downloaded woman on AOL.com that year.

Sunny’s hair resembled Loni Anderson’s hair on “WKRP in Cincinnati” and she was a popular sex symbol that year that so many men and boys whistled at and lusted over and she always flaunted her sexuality.

Sunny seems more like she’d be the one to dress and act like Loni Anderson in that baseball “WKRP in Cincinnati” episode, not you.