A Queen In Exile (short story)
Blackdawn dug her claws into the ground. She stared at the open space ahead, wavering as if it marked the end of the world. In a way, it did.
Riverclan was all Blackdawn knew. It was where she was born, where she trained, where she made bonds, where she had her daughter. She did love Lilykit, truly. How could she not? She was her precious bundle of joy, her only kit.Â
She wasnât hurting her that badly. She was only making her a little sickâŚ. Wasnât she? An image of Lilykit writhing in her sweat-coated nest made Blackdawn shake her head. She tried to ignore the guilt clawing at her stomach, then felt guilty for trying to ignore it.Â
Maybe she shouldnât have been so harsh, shouldâve kept to the plants that only caused bellyache and mild vomiting.Â
She had gotten all she could ever want: sympathy and compassion pouring in from each and every one of her Clanmates, praise for being so strong, working almost as hard as Badgercloud to constantly hunt and collect herbs for Minnowberry. Of course, she collected some more plants when no one was paying attention, but, well.
Then all that love flipped faster than Blackdawn could blink. Compassion became rage. Affectionate nuzzles became claws at her hind legs as she was forced to leave the territory.
Dirt clotted between her toes. Blackdawn realized that the sun had shifted, and she had spent the entire time digging into the ground and staring at the border. She rubbernecked, half-expecting someone to be behind her, making sure she left. Maybe there was.
How could she just leave? She had never been alone. She didnât doubt she was capable enough to feed herself and find shelter when needed, but would she always be eating alone? Sleeping alone? Doing everything alone?
She looked back a second time. Maybe she should try joining another Clan? No, even if they did accept her, they would just kick her out again after Heronstar announced her deeds at the next gathering, which he would have to do after two Shadowclan cats staying in Riverclanâs camp witnessed her exile.
She looked forward, raising her chin high. If someone was watching, then she wouldnât give them the satisfaction of seeing her afraid. Standing as tall as she could, she stepped forward.
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A cold breeze ruffled Blackdawnâs pelt, and she curled deeper into herself. Instinctively, her paw reached for her mate and his warmth, and for a moment she was confused as to why she couldnât feel him or Lilykit.
Then she remembered. She blinked open her eyes. It had been several moons since her time in Riverclan. Leaf-bare had settled in, and although it was melting away now, the night brought biting wind, and Blackdawn had to find herself a good place to shelter. She had found it in a crevice between two rocks.
She shivered, this time of a new memory. When leaf-bare had hit its worst, she had returned to the border of Riverclan, where she had thought she was lucky when she noticed Badgercloud on a lone patrol. She had thought he would help her, perhaps give her food. He had always been so giving.
But she had never seen someone so terrifying. His teeth were barred, every single hair standing on his pelt. His eyes blazed with blue fire. âHow stupid are you to think that you can return here?â He had spat. âStay away from us, you evil she-cat!â
Frog-brain! Blackdawn thought to herself now. In the back of her head, she knew he was right. Lilykit could have died because of her. Lilykit.. She would be bigger now. Would she still be the only kit? Maybe she found a playmate. Did she miss her, or was she glad that she was gone?
With a pang, she recalled Slateshade, Blackdawnâs own mother, as the black she-cat disowned her in front of the entire Clan, shouting at her to leave before Heronstar officially announced her exile. Yet Blackdawn still missed her. She wanted to feel her holding her again, wanting to feel her gentle tongue as she groomed her fur. Stars, she wanted to be loved by her again.
How could she have made such a horrible mistake? Not only did she lose all the attention she had worked so hard to get, but everyone she loved now hated her. Slateshade..Badgercloud..Lilykit,surely.. And her father hadnât defended her all those moons ago.Â
Die somewhere comfortable, Badgercloud had told her. He wished her dead. Maybe they all did. Surely what she did wasnât so bad that she deserved death? Afterall, Lilykit didnât die. She only became sick.. Incredibly sick.Â
Blackdawn let out a long sigh. âOh, I made such a dreadful mistake!â
âYes, you did!â A chuckle answered. Blackdawn jumped to her feet, yelping as her back slammed against the sharp rock face above her. In the midst of her thoughts, she hadnât scented anyone near.
Another voice chimed in. âShouldâve made a den with two exists!â
As they neared, Blackdawn, preparing for a fight, thought that she recognized them. Did she know the bigger, golden one? Or the brown tom with a red-tinged chest?
âWell Alderstar,â the brown one saidâ
Alderstar? Was this the Shadowclan leader?--
âDo you want the first pick?â
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..Hear me out.
Blackdawn and Alderstar and Myrtlewing are all my OCs, and thereâs no reason they couldnât have crossed paths at one point.
Unfortunately for Blackdawn, even her cruelness could not be matched.
Maybe the two heard of the exiled mother and decided to pay her a visit. Afterall, who would be there to check on her?

















