#skydog64

I work at a library and saw this brand new peanuts book the other day and immediately thought of your wonderful comics

*bites u* <3

so, apologies in advance, this'll be long

we have Riri, Elaine's PC in the campaign, she was dropped at a monk dojo in the mortal plane as a baby, she's a monk and has recently taken on a lvl in warlock with Lil' Gus (yeah, her husband) as her patron. she's a minor celebrity, a musician called Fireball, she accidentally caused the destruction of a major city by throwing a fireball in the middle of a forest, she doesn't ask a lot of questions, loves getting into fights, she went through a bigfoot portal and met an alternate version of herself who now hates her, she was killed by powerful beings that control time, her dad has brought her back to life several times, she went to astral prison, the prosecutor on her case rage quit and wants to kill her.

her dad, Abraham, is a sad, sad son of a bitch. he grew up in the void and left for the mortal plane to get out of an arranged marriage. he met Bimmy Juffett (Riri's godfather) and fell in love with the sun and the sea. he's his mom's "soft boy", his brother hates him for being the favourite, his dad is disappointed in him for so many reasons. he is his dad's business accountant while in the void and was Bimmy's tour manager during his time in the mortal plane. he and Bimmy went to astral prison for 50 years for events they don't remember and he was banished to the void upon his release. he misses the sun every day of his life, he misses good food and the ocean, he has a therapist that makes sure he always has salt (they don't season food in the void and only eat meats (specifically humanoid)), he has a hard time keeping food down. he made Riri out of coal and sent her into the mortal plane so a piece of him could be there. every time he's brought her back to life it's pushed out the soul that was in the piece of coal (Tabitha and Kiera are the results of this). he's back in the astral prison after bringing Riri back when the time lords killed her, he prefers prison to the void.

Miriam, Riri's cousin, is obsessed with Fireball and reached out to Riri after Abraham was taken to prison. said shit like "do you eat? sleep? do you need to? do you bleed? do you dream?" in her first letter. she's a 100yr old teenager, loves to go to raves and listen to loud music. her father crushed all the parts of her personality he saw himself in and she believes that he's the reason people have such a hard time liking or getting along with her. she has many questions to ask, her dad allows her 3 Qs every 15 hours. she sees no problem with cannibalism as it's commonplace in the void, she loves hunting with her grandpa, she asked Riri if she could butcher and eat her, convinced the party to stay for a Night to Forget and with the help of her grandpa had the party kidnapped by poachers so they could hunt them in a giant arena. the party left her in the void and took her fiancee with them but she teleported to the mortal plane by herself and has joined the party on their travels. she has the skull of her stillborn uncle on her desk.

Ira, Miriam's mom, is a milf and a freelance organ harvester, she grew up in the funeral home and married Elijah for money and because he let her step on him in the bedroom, she's unfaithful (her father-in-law wouldn't have it any other way), she cheated on Elijah a week before their wedding with Abraham during a night to forget and wasn't subtle when she hid the evidence of the hook up since she didn't care if Elijah found it cause she knew he'd be too chickenshit to say anything about it. she's a short queen.

Elijah, Abraham's brother, is a dick, hated Abraham since he was a baby. when he was young he attended a fashion show with his dad and ended up releasing dinner (several humanoids), causing a whole scene, it embarrassed Ezekiel even though it livened up the event and most of the attendants remember it fondly, Ezekiel never forgave Elijah for the mistake and he's spent his life trying to make up for it, hanging on his dad's every word, never arguing, and hating Abraham for how easy he had things, at least from Elijah's pov. he's terrible at making friends, a poor conversationalist, he paid a stranger to be his best man because he refused to have it be Abe. he refused to let Miriam around Abe when he first returned to the mortal plane. He is in the midst of dying! his dad bought a parasite to replace him (Emerick), when the parasite was in and the fight was lost Elijah (obviously) started crying, his dad told him not to waste his last moments in control crying, then he told Elijah it would make him very happy if he'd let go, and Elijah did, handing control of his body to Emerick within moments when it can take days. (elijah: left, emerick: right)

Ezekiel, Miriam’s grandpa, comes from the lower class, he met Talia when she was visiting his hometown and she asked him for directions. ate the flesh of his great grandfather. his father told him he thought Talia was going to kill and eat him when he went to meet her parents. hates his dad and how he's always treated his mom. almost killed him at his and Talia's wedding. decided having another kid would be great, actually, after Elijah's indecent at the show. created a business making servants out of coal since wealthy families eating their of so fleshy servants is/was an issue. hates crying. thinks that a competitive spirit between siblings is healthy. favourite son dead son, never let him down and didn't even cry once. loves hunting and taking Miriam to the arena. doesn't consider Riri a real person but is very impressed by Abraham's craftsmanship. goes to hell for fun and is lovers with Satan. one of his favourite films is Cats(2019) and has read all of Twilight and is writing a fix-it fic.

Talia stalked Ezekiel to work when she saw him the day after she asked him for directions. She believes in soulmates and love at first sight. She asked Ezekiel out while he was working. She told Ezekiel on their first date that she’d been stalking him and he thought it was hot. she loves crawling on the walls and ceilings, watching people sleep and chasing her husband around the house while shooting at him. she sounds like Moira Rose. she's not familiar with consequences and isn't one to hold her tongue. told Ezekiel to "do what he thinks is best" when he brought up replacing Elijah with a parasite. she might not be a good mother, but she doesn't want too believe it.

Tamara, Ezekiel's sister, has mostly cut herself off from the rest of her family, she visits to spend time with Talia and her friends on very rare occasions but can't really stand her. she has a therapy hell hound named Chauncey. she visits the mortal plane sometimes and helped Abe get there when he ran away from his engagement. she's got a lot of trust issues and ran away a lot when she was a teenager, Ezekiel would often be sent to find her and would threaten to kill her if she didn't come home with him.

Oberon could crawl on the walls and ceiling, he and Zariah are old money, he lived in the mansion his whole life, he was a very imposing figure and got torn limb from limb by a mob of peasants

Zariah, Talia’s mother, is the kind of woman that chain smokes and eats the butts of her cigarettes. she has very long nails and loves to get in people’s personal space. kind of bitch that pushes children into pools. has a way with rot, there's always been rot in the foundation of the mansion and she kept it at bay, passing on her knowledge to Ezekiel when he moved into the home. she moved out after Oberon died cause she couldn't stand to be reminded of him wherever she looked.

Solomon, Ezekiel and Tamara's father, is a bitch, both his children hate him, he’s gaslit his wife into believing her children died in an accident, or in childbirth, whatever he's feeling in the moment, he never wanted children in the first place but saw them as a great opportunity to shatter her sanity further than he already had. he insists that Uma wouldn't be able to function without him, and that making her believe she never had children is better than letting her fret over their safety when they're gone from home for long stretches of time. he killed his grandfather and brought him home to eat with his family so they could absorb his abilities when Ezekiel and his sister, Tamara, were young. he saved a bunch of drugs from a night to forget and gave them to his wife during Ezekiel and Talia’s wedding so she wouldn’t remember it. since then he's tried to gaslight his kids into believing their mother is dead. he showed up to Elijah's wedding because Ezekiel sends his mom letters in hopes that she'll find one before Solomon does. he's a cunt.

Uma’s never met any of her grandchildren or great grandchildren. Ezekiel still writes her letters in hopes she’ll find one before his dad gets to it, she never has. she worships the HOLE, she’s very skittish and frets for her family’s well-being whenever they are away. of course now that they're moved out she’s been gaslit into believing her children were but hallucinations she only ever need worry about Solomon, not that he didn't do the same while they were home. as a result she was a very absent mother. she doesn't leave the house and is completely reliant on Solomon.

High five for living the dream of being both the tank and the healer. I did that with my first paladin baby as well!

Also: nice. 69hp, peak dnd :D

Treat! Candy ghosts!