#skunk headcanons

Lately I’ve been obsessed with the thought of J0nat/han and Sp33dWag0n traveling to go and fight D10, spending time together and roughing it outdoors as they travel.

More specifically though, I’ve been thinking about poor J0nath/an having many gassy issues on this trip. He’s used to a life of pure luxury, not eating sloppy greasy dinners over a campfire!

With his size and strength, his farts are just as powerful, and he’s so embarrassed as he tries to hold it until Sp33dWag0n is at least asleep. Just imagining such a strong man curled over next to his pal in bed, his hole quivering so desperately to release a surely deep and brassy fart that will make both of them need to get up from their sleeping bags. He needs to push it out so bad, but he’s a gentleman, he can’t do that!

Hiiii! First of all, thanks for sending this my way. I love getting asks sm! I apologize that it took a while though. Second of all, of course I do!🖤🤍

I’m going to do this in the order you said! There’ll be a blocker between each prompt in case anyone reading would like to skip over one and just to organize hehe.

[ CW for eproctophilia, coprophilia and stomach aches! ]

Bruno has a pretty basic diet, just eating what he pleases and not often worrying about repercussions. He doesn’t avoid things because he knows they’ll give him a bit of gas.

One thing that does give him trouble and he will actively however is tofu and imitation meats. (Canon? Maybe...this is on his character info card in the manga).

Growing up in a family that was farm to table style of cooking made him a bit sensitive to anything highly processed.

When he does get gas, it isn’t too awful in scent, but his farts are deep and rumbly. It’s mostly just air trapped in his gut, but boy they can be embarrassing.

Speaking of loud and embarrassing, his guts in general have a tendency of being very loud. If you have a meeting with Bruno, you will know if he had skipped breakfast beforehand or if he’s having tummy issues.

He’s fairly thin, so when he gets bloated, it is very much noticeable. It just slightly strains his suit and unzipping it at the end of the day when he’s having tummy troubles is so good.

When he needs to pass gas, Bruno tries to sit on soft cushions or pillows. The sound is the worst part of the ordeal, and soft things help muffle the brassy farts that come from him. With his gas trapped deep in the fabric, it makes the smell much stronger and very much noticeable.

Meetings with Polpo always result in a night of gas after joining the Capo in greasy pizza, snacks and wine. He always leaves the prison bloated and crop dusting on his way home to his Squad’s base.

After those meetings, Bruno is prone to needing to go ASAP. He always needs to go mid-meal when he’s had his meal, which usually results in some leg bouncing under the table. Desert is sometimes a dread.

His BMs are usually long, deep brown, soft snakes that are usually easy to pass.

He has some pretty loud farts between the different pieces, and it’s pretty embarrassing because he can’t hide them in a pillow like usual, and it’s instead amplified in the porcelain bowl.

Because of his mostly healthy diet, the smell is pretty vile, and you can definitely tell when he was in the bathroom last.

As much as he loves them, espressos go right through him! Coffee in general is a hit or miss for whether or not it will make his trip to the bathroom Hell or not.

Bruno is usually pretty quick using the restroom. He’s very busy with his duties and doesn’t have much time to spare. Plus, he gets a bit embarrassed knowing that people may be assuming he’s going number 2.

He grunts softly as he goes, shutting his eyes and relaxing. It’s a bit hard for a man in his power to relax, so that’s basically the toughest part of his BMs.

Bruno is not one to show discomfort (we watched him hide being a zombie after all).

As mentioned before, his tummy is not afraid to tell him and everyone around him when it’s upset with loud gurgles and rumbles.

Because he’s so good at hiding his tummy issues, you can basically tell he’s having an upset when he starts subtlety kneading his tummy.

Opening his suit when he’s bloated causes a big sigh of relief, he’ll sit back and just relax after a long day of being bloated once he gets to unwind and relax his suit.

Bruno is very sensitive to bad foods. If he gets food poisoning, it will never get past his stomach. It’s coming out the front end, not the back.

You know he’s struggling when he burps and belches, he literally never does this unless he’s having a real bad tummy ache.

His burps end in small groans of relief, and he usually sits back and relaxes after especially big ones.

He doesn’t usually let people cuddle up too close with him and show his vulnerable side, but he can really feel a lot of relief from a simple tummy rub.

Major CW for omo eproctophilia and coprophilia!

Never wipes after he pisses, of course. Flick it and go.

Pisses hard and long. Never takes the courtesy of aiming his stream at the edge, instead letting his piss hit the surface and rumble loudly.

Definitely let’s a few rip without shame when he relaxes to piss, in public or not.

His piss is usually potent in scent and fairly yellow from forgetting to drink throughout the day. It’s an unmistakable scent.

Joseph is not affraid to tell you when he has to use it. He’ll be a total baby and just whine and whine when he has to piss until you get him somewhere to go.

Not picky about bathrooms. This man will pop a squat behind a building with no hesitation if he needs to go bad enough.

He farts a LOT when he has to go number 2. When you hear those farts coming one after one, you’d better take the bathroom before he spends an hour in there.

Stomach clutcher when he eats something bad and gets an upset stomach. When he starts cramping and whining, you may wanna prepare and open some windows.

Full swamp ass when he farts. It’s hot, it’s heavy, and it’s powerful and musky.

His shits are solid logs that are heavy and big. When he goes to take a dump, he’s gonna be a while with those hole stretchers. He farts all the way through, blasting ass when a log is finally dropped, only for another to breech.

Always calls going to the restroom something crude (chopping logs, pinching a loaf, turtle heading, etc.). Caesar is always disgusted.

Big grunter when he’s going number two. You’ll know he’s taking a dump if you walk by the bathroom (if the smell doesn’t hit you first).

After he shits, you may as well call that bathroom out of commission. The seat is hot, the air is warm for some reason, and he doesn’t even bother to clean up the bowl of his mess. Turn the fan on, spray some air freshener, and pray that’s his last shit of the day (it’s not).

Sometimes he “forgets” to flush if Caesar is around just to hear him yell about how disgusting he is and giggle.

Does not hesitate to tell you how good that dump felt in graphic detail. Bonus points if the person he’s telling has a k!nk and they just have to listen to Joseph boast about his amazing shit.

Not the best wiper. One or two are usually good enough for him. Who’s lookin back there anyhow?

CW for omo eproctophilia and coprophilia!

Always wipes after pissing. He hates that it’s so normal for men to just flick it off. He wipes to be clean but he also hates the sensation of that last little drop in his underwear.

He wouldn’t dare leave a date to go to the restroom! This has left him with an iron bladder and some very fast drives home to relieve himself.

Very good at hiding if he has to pee. If you see him crossing or bouncing a leg that means he’s moments from having an accident and somehow still very calm.

His piss is a very light and healthy yellow, almost clear. He takes care of himself fairly well.

His stream is soft, taking his time to use the restroom and making it a pleasant experience. He usually sighs contently once it finally starts flowing, especially if he was holding it a while.

Unfortunately for this Casanova, he is very gassy. Burps, farts, and hiccups galore! Perhaps it’s his special Hamon technique...

Obligatory burping/hiccuping bubbles comment for Caesar hehe.

His hiccups are quick and soft, he can usually cover them up by just a hand over the mouth, but they’re still annoying.

As polite as his hiccups and pissing is though, one thing he loathes are his toots. With the mixture of Italian food all the time, hours of training, and just general grassiness, his farts are something awful.

Caesar’s farts are bubbly and rumbly, feeling like bubbles when he pushes them out. No SBD farts here, he always gives some loud and rumbling farts.

After holding it in all day, Caesar usually has to push on his tummy to coax out his gas. He usually does this in just a shirt, knowing his boxers and pants will be stained with the scent.

When he finally gets it to come out, Caesar grunts and moans with relief. Sometimes he has to take a breath before continuing to rip an especially long fart.

Sometimes he’ll even lay on his stomach and spread his ass to try and make it easier for him.

He’s had a few...accidents while pushing those toots out. When those bubbly toots sound wet and muddled, he knows he’s pushed too hard.

Bath farts are wonderful because it’s easier to hide the smell and sound! But he gets a bit embarrassed at the sight and knowing he’s tainting the water he’s bathing in.

Just like his farts, Caesar is not a quiet or polite pooper unfortunately for him.

His bowel movements are just as bubbly and messy as his farts. His poop is soft and smooth, usually coming out in long, dark snakes.

He is victim to an upset tummy quite often, his stomach is just as posh as him after all! So, more than he’d like, he occasionally will have more liquid poops that bubble and gurgle out of his ass embarrassingly loud.

When he has these bouts of an upset stomach, he’s often softly groaning and rubbing his tummy to help coax out anything. He’s a bit of a whiner when his tummy aches.

When he wipes, especially after these messy poops, he’s very through. Perhaps a bit too much. He’s been left with an upset hole before from wiping too much, and Joseph has to stop himself from giggling at the sight of Caesar somehow being even more of a tight ass.

He’s a sucker for Cola and makes sure to guzzle down a bottle or two before his trainers put the mask back on after he’s done eating, but that doesn’t go over too well. It thankfully masks the loud sound of his belches somewhat, but he’s stuck with the stale scent inside of the mask the rest of the day. Caesar has gagged a few times while removing it for Jojo after a long day of training and multiple cans of soda. Though it may sound gross, something tells me this slob doesn’t mind his own stench at this point...