#skipping grades

So I’ll say here

ACCELERATE

or, HELP YOUR KIDS ACCELERATE

I appreciate you sharing. I'm not one who likes to judge parent's decisions for their children, especially since I don't know those children personally. Jensen may have used the twin excuse, but it may not have been the only consideration.

I will say regarding moving children forward, generally speaking, I think at such a young age there are not only academic considerations, but social considerations as well, so moving a child forward at this early stage may not be ideal, socially. It may be better to wait until the child had a full year of regular school in before considering moving them ahead (and the Ackles may still consider that).

Of course, I also have a nephew who did online kindergarten (due to the pandemic) and ended up skipping 1st grade. But, he's also been more comfortable with peers older than him, so the social aspect wasn't an issue.

Hi there friend,

I have two brothers and they both ended up in gifted and talented programs, skipping grades, etc (my brothers may be smarter than me but I'm a way bigger deal on tumblr*, so we're basically even) and it did hurt them both socially, I think.  I don't think it necessarily had to be that way, but it's not like most people in high school think being super smart is super cool, you are separated from most of your peers when you enter a special program, and you end up as the youngest person in your college courses.  It's not a great recipe for a robust social life.

I think the first thing to consider is that there is always a transition from high school to college/the workforce/doing nothing but smoking weed in your parent's basement for a few years - whatever people end up doing.  The final teenage years through the early twenties (and beyond) is a period when people change a great deal and really start to figure out who they are.  Most people don't keep all of their friends from high school.  I still talk to some of my old friends, some are acquaintances on facebook, and some of the people I was friends with all through my childhood, through high school...if I don't see them again that's fine by me.  It just sort of happens.  People change in different ways so we didn't even fall out.  We just ended up doing different stuff.

What makes this all doable is that life isn't so much about abrupt starts and stops as it is about transitions.  I doubt you'll be "alone at only 17," or that any period in which you feel more isolated means you're doomed for life.  You simply meet new friends.  College is frankly amazing for that.  I was a crazy dedicated student in college and I found friends who were also very dedicated.  Your people are out there.

Skipping grades and taking college courses early, you do have to face being the youngest person in the class.  This seems to play out one of two ways.  Usually (and this was the case for my brothers), the young go-getter is PAINFULLY shy and ends up socially isolating themselves.  The other option seems to be being completely full of yourself and making everyone hate you.  If you can not do that but also not be totally shy, you'll do just fine.  And honestly, what do you have to lose?  They'll know you're smart.  If they're smart, they won't say NO HIGH SCHOOLERS IN THE STUDY GROUP or whatever.  And if they aren't crazy about you, it isn't like high school.  You aren't stuck with these losers forever.   

I know it's scary, but you can always ask, "what's the worst that can happen?"  You can try to make new friends in your classes and maybe they won't want that.  Okay, but if you sit apart and just think about how these people aren't your old friends, you're guaranteed not to make new friends.  Try not to do things that guarantee the worst outcome, you know?

You'll be just fine.  One of my brothers skipped a grade early in school and it took him a long time to fit in socially.  He figured it out, though, and he's doing great.  There was a kid from my younger brother's class who skipped ahead into most of my high school classes (which was weird, admittedly).  He was super shy and super weird, but he has a lovely family, did all sorts of incredible stuff in college, and is A-OK.

Life does not end at 17, even if the transition from high school is made a little harder.

Also super smart but never felt the need to show off like his stupid brothers,

Pete

I skipped second grade.

It’s a little known fact about me, one of those things I use in that cocktail party game “two truths and a lie." Today there would likely be a team of experts weighing in on why such a move would be detrimental to my educational development, or how it might socially stunt me to be the youngest in my class, but at the time there really wasn’t much talk around the matter.

I was in a combined Grades 2/3 class (do they still have such a thing these days?) back at Swain Elementary School in Orange County, CA (Go Yellow Jackets!) and apparently once given the opportunity to work at my own pace, I blew through the second grade curriculum in a flash. I turned in the workbooks to Mrs. Kapche and must have uttered something along the lines of “Is that all you’ve got?”

The suggestion was made that perhaps I should move over to the other side of the classroom: the third grade side.

I remember there was some talk about how I would adjust to having new peers. How would I handle leaving the sniveling second graders in the dust for the sophisticated third graders? I was intellectually ready for the move, but was I socially or physically prepared? Were my parents approving a move that would keep my mind developing at its natural pace, but would make me the physical runt and immature freak of the class for the rest of my days in a classroom?

Fortunately I was already hanging out with the third graders more than the second graders anyway, so it really didn’t seem like that big of a deal. But was it?

I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if I stayed in the grade I was born into instead of jumping ahead. Would I have dominated my classes from that point forward, being some sort of super student, literally wise beyond my years?

Would I have done better in sports, not always competing against older kids? And would that success had led me to pursue it further, eventually resulting in earning a spot on my beloved California Angels roster as their star Second Baseman?

Would I have developed any different socially, whether better or worse, resulting in an attraction to different types of friends, girlfriends and eventually a different wife and family? The whole ‘sliding doors’ concept really gets your mind going if you let it.

But I don’t. I really don’t spend much time thinking about the fact that one day my parents and Mrs. Kapche chose to alter the trajectory of my education in a way that certainly must have had some sort of significant life consequences. I’m very happy with how things have all played out, and I have no regrets about the decision that was made on my behalf. Except for that Second Baseman for the Angels thing. That would’ve been nice.