seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Russia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Norway
seen from France
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Germany
Mission Report
Assignment Name: Awakening
Status: Completed
Parameters: Wake up in time for Spooky Season.
Follow Up Options:
Wake Greg up (wake Greg up inside).
Wake Greg up before you go go.
Wake Greg up now that September has ended.
Munitions Requested: Trumpet (x1) - Approved
Approver Comments: To war!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
It's come to my attention that there are still many who don't understand the Skeleton War it even what a skeleton truly is so I'd like to take a moment to provide some insight.
To do this one must first understand what a skeleton is. A skeleton is the framework of the Meat Mech that is the mortal body, which is further strengthened by the consolidation of the spirit into the bones themselves upon death. These mechs are buried and when the spirit has been fully integrated exclusively into the skeleton framework, they rise once more as a further evolved (more like further cooked, really) manifestation of the Soul.
However, the soul was not meant to be so concentrated, it's supposed to power an entire mech! So the new demi-beings are eternally restless and in constant agony, thus necessitating a cathartic form of release. This is usually expressed through battle using various mediums of combat - some of which include incendiary attacks, clacking of the jaw bones in place of witticism due to lack of vocal chords, and sonic warfare by brass musical instruments.
Over time, Skeletonkind learned to enchant their weapons and expanded its horizons to make more creative tools with which to unleash havoc. This angered the Wizards, whom were already in the middle of inciting chaos and did not appreciate being interrupted.
This would have been a simple misunderstanding with a lot of grumbling were it not for the Doot Incident. Who exactly tooted is unknown, but the Wizards angrily claimed one of the Skeletons tried to assault them with their Tactical Trumpet 🎺. The Skeletons claimed innocence and cited a Wizard casting Fateful Flatulence as the source of the tooting.
As we all know, the law of He Who Smelt It Dealt It can only be counted by the He Who Denied It Supplied It addendum, which causes a recursive loop.
This kicked off countless years of mostly-totally-but-not-really-at-all violent warfare that is still waged to this day.
I hope this has been an educational post and I encourage you to join a side that looks like fun. We Skeletons have enchanted tools and mighty rusted armor!
Oh, and Wizards have silly hats and spells and stuff, I guess.
The Mushroom Rebels kind of just sit there, but they've got the whole Extant Form of Life thing going on and a cursed form of immortality, so check 'em out!
Now, I know what you're thinking:
Were those
Secret Wizard Tomes
you copied and reprinted for free thousands of times really declassified and made available to the public?
Well, my friends, I can happily tell you that those tomes have never attended a class in their lives, so we should be in the clear.
It's not an easy life running the Skeleton Secret Service, but spooky espionage is vital to the war effort.
For our undead Brothers in Arms (gender neutral), we will bear the cross of having to perform war crimes against Wizardkind.
Beards will be snipped! Tomes rearranged on bookshelves in random orders! Socks will be dampened!
And the Dooting! Oh, the Dooting! It will be as glorious as it is nightmarish.
And all the while, the wizards will keep their eyes on our Front Liners and never see our stealthiest operatives documenting every magical advancement and weakness they can feast their eye sockets on.
