#sitz marker study

My mother pitches a fit if I don’t eat with the family because it doesn’t feel like I’m “taking part of the family”. Thing is, I am NPO on a feeding tube.

Since I currently have only a “functional” (Most offensive term ever. I can promise you I am not functioning.) condition both professionals and my parents believe I am making a “mountain out of a molehill” and should just get over it and eat.

I also miss food. It’s so rare I eat, not only because of the excruciating pain it causes, but because I have such intense early satiety. I eat a couple bites and I am as full as if I ate a holiday meal. In addition I can feel the food backing up my oesophagus and throat. I have a hard time swallowing too.

So yes I miss food, but I know I cannot eat. Yet my mother’s wrath is not to be trifled with, especially when I am so low on energy. I caved anew ate around a a cup of mashed potatoes and a sliver of homemade sourdough bread.

Well…it was coming out of both my G and J tubes for the next two days. My CNA who helps me daily could see what I ate. It smelled like vomit. (Which I so badly wanted to do due to pain, but I am unable to do so.) I was awful. I was so nauseous. In so much pain. And worse of all I was constipated.

This may be considered TMI, but I don’t care. In multiple tests it’s been documented that I have constant stool burdens at the end of my small intestine and beginning of my colon. I am currently on linzess, but it isn’t helping.

I poop brown smelly water. Even my CNA said this looks like intestinal failure. Yet because I only have a functional diagnosis the ER won’t accept me until I am running a high fever. I have a low grade one, but nope. Still not good enough.

On top of that my feeding pump ( a Kangaroo Joey) stopped working yesterday. I called my feeding tube supplier about sending me a new one. They said it would arrive at noon.

It hadn’t. I called back asking when it would arrive and they said someone signed for it. So I asked all around my apartment complex asking where it was. Nobody said they had it. So I called again. Apparently it SOMEHOW got sent to the wrong place. So they will be sending me one…sometime. Tonight my CNA is going to help me use a gravity bag. I only used one once and it gave me really bad diarrhoea so hopefully we can find a speed that works for me.