#sirius though

Author: hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Author: lol nopeee

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain 

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end 

James threw himself backwards onto the grass, closed his eyes, and let out a contended sigh. "Finally finished with exams, mate," he said happily. "How weird is it? Our last exams at Hogwarts?"

Sirius laughed, trying not to betray how very terrified he was to be leaving the first place he'd after truly felt at home. It was not as if he'd be alone, or forced to return to Grimmauld place, but nevertheless, the prospect of leaving the security of the ancient walls made his stomach drop uncomfortably. "We've been through a lot in these seven years, haven't we, Prongs? Lots of ups. Lots of downs." He paused. "Mostly ups, though."

James opened his eyes and turned to look at him, grinning. "Indeed," he said lightly. "But no reminiscing for now, all right? It'll only depress me." He stretched out, turned his face back into the sun, and yawned. "Let's just enjoy the beautiful day. Let's pretend we've never got to leave this place."

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend 

But I always thought that I'd see you again

Living alone after Marlene died was, of course, a far cry from ideal. Occasionally, the loneliness was so all-consuming, so intense, that Sirius wondered whether or not the world outside even existed. Through the window of the dingy flat he moved into after the one he'd shared with her, everything is gray, and his only view is of a lonely highway that hardly anyone ever drives on. 

He, truthfully, was often tempted to Apparate to Godric's Hollow and holler at the invisible house until James appeared and reluctantly agreed to let him join the Potter household. He never would have actually done it, but he still visited them as often as he could. James and Lily often seemed to be the only sure things in his life anymore; Marlene was gone, Dorcas was gone, Peter was too nervous to venture out of the house, and Remus could be the spy. No matter what, he would have James; he would have his brother in all but blood.

When he found James's lifeless body, wandless, face slightly surprised, Sirius felt the world open beneath his feet and swallow him whole. The vague, distant knowledge that Remus was not the spy gave him no comfort; all he could think, in that moment, was that a huge and vital part of him had been torn away forever. 

He said goodbye to his best friend for the last time in the foyer of the little house in Godric's Hollow and left to tear Peter limb from traitorous limb. As he shut the door carefully behind him, he burst into tears, his chest heaving, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. He tried to mouth an apology, tried to express how very sorry he was, even though it was far too late. But no words came out, and he realized dizzyingly that it would not matter if they did: James was gone.