IT’S YO BOY

GUZMA

Hello Elan! Dysphoria is a daily struggle for me, so I can definitely help you out using my personal experiences with coping with such a thing. 

When it comes to bottom dysphoria, I personally deal with it for both sexual and non sexual reasons. 

PACKING

On a day to day basis, I cope by packing. Packing, if you didn’t know, is wearing a prosthetic dick in your underwear in order to fill out the space, give you a more ‘guyish walk’, and overall make you feel more confident that if eyes wander down there, it won’t be flat. It feels really natural too. I really love packing. Personally I pack with a Peecock stand to pee device. It was very expensive, but not the only packer on the market of course. My first packer was still pretty good, it was a Masho packer from TranZwear, a company I definitely recommend as they are cheap and have a lot of good package deals.Of course, before I could even afford that, I made my own packer with a rolled up sock. There’s several methods to making your own packer, which I’ll link to below:

Sock packerCondom packerKnitted packer 2There’s other ways to do this, just search ‘diy ftm packer’ in google and you should come up for a lot. You can search diy packer harness as well, or just wear tight briefs with your packer so it doesn’t go too much out of position (or if it’s the sock, you can use a safety pin as well).

STP DEVICES

Sometimes, not standing to pee also makes me feel pretty dysphoric. Again, there are stand to pee devices on the market, but the ones that look like dicks are usually quite expensive. For someone who has less money, I’d suggest a gogirl. Yes, it’s annoying that it’s marketed towards females, but it is seriously the best device on the market for a good price, and you can usually even find it in Walmart. You can also make your own stand to pee device, but most of the methods online are quite uncomfortable. It’s much better to shell out the money for a go girl. Then you can use it in the closed door stalls in the men’s washroom (because trust me, many men pee in those stalls, urinals make me uncomfortable).

MENSTRUATION (PERIODS)

Shark week is probably one of the most annoying times for someone who has trans masculine dysphoria. It doesn’t always relate to bottom dysphoria, but it often does (I mean, you are leaking blood out your hoo hah).If you aren’t planning on having children in the future, you can take birth control without stopping for the week to have your period safely. Honestly. They know it’s not unsafe, the only thing they aren’t sure about is fertility. So if you don’t need to be fertile, you don’t need to worry. Eliminating having a period altogether was the best choice I ever made to be honest. And there are estrogen free pills you can take as well, just you have to set an alarm and take it at the same time every day. But it’s worth it.

Some people can’t go on contraceptives for medical or personal reasons. So if you can’t do this method, you have to find the best way to cope both physically and mentally. Physically, there are many different things you can use in lieu of tampons and pads, because those crinkly wrappers don’t always cut it when you’re in the men’s washroom (people will ask you to share your chips/candy, seriously). There are menstrual cups like the diva cup, and menstrual sponges made from sea sponge. These are both reusable and a lot more discreet. There’s no strings. They can hold a lot more blood, so you don’t have to wash them out as often. So this means that you don’t have to worry about washing them out in public, you can wait until you get home. 

Mentally, it helps to affirm yourself. YOU ARE BLEEDING AND STILL GOING ABOUT YOUR DAILY LIFE LIKE A BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER. Most men wouldn’t be able to handle all the cramps, the stress, the bleeding. You’re super fucking great and no one can tell you otherwise. If you don’t feel metal as fuck and manly about it, you really sure. Periods are metal as hell.

MASTURBATION/SEX (NSFW talk below)

This is probably the trickiest thing do deal with for bottom dysphoria as it’s different for everyone. Some people just use their imagination as their best friend. Since I’ve been having sex, I used imagination to cope with vaginal penetration. I would just imagine that I was a gay man having anal sex, and I did that so often that it made me super okay with vaginal sex. Later on, I coped with it by reasoning with myself. Most cisgender gay bottoms would give anything to have an extra pleasure hole. So that’s how I look at it now. As a ‘bonus’. Other people just avoid penetration and try to imagine it’s not there.

Using male or gender neutral terms for your genitals might ease the bottom dysphoria. I refer to my clit as my dick often. I’ll refer to my vagina as ‘boypussy’, ‘bonus hole’ ‘entrance’, etc. Having your partners do the same can be beneficial, but again, it’s entirely dependent on the person.

I cope with masturbation by focusing on porn instead of on my own junk. I also ‘jerk off’ my clit instead of rubbing like most female bodied people do. It helps with the visualization. Some people even learn how to orgasm hands free to help with the dysphoria. All in all, coping with dysphoria during masturbation and sex is really hit and miss. You have to experiment and see what works best for you. 

That’s about all I got for bottom dysphoria. Now, for binding without a proper binder? Stay away from tape and ace bandages. They are super uncomfortable and the most dangerous ways to bind. I always suggest just saving up for a @gc2b-apparel binder if you can, they are pretty much the cheapest on the market, as well as the safest and most comfortable. If you are still living with people who don’t understand this whole thing, I made a video awhile back about ways to obtain a binder without your parents noticing. There’s links to free binder exchange programs in the description below the video as well.If you really can’t go the binder route, the safest way I know of to bind without a binder is using two sports bras. You put the first one on backwards, and the second one on as normal. But this still creates a lot of compression. So make sure you still follow safe binding tips, and always take them off if you start to feel pain or are short of breath.

 Anyways, I hope that my advice helps you out. If you’re in need of more advice, I’d suggest the youtube channel FtmTranstastic. Their advice is mostly for ftm transgender people, but most of their advice works for any AFAB trans masculine or non binary people. They also have a Tumblr as well, @ftmtranstastic.