As part of my final grade for COM 2206 I must create a blog and talk about the three things that I have learned in the class. I must say that narrowing down to only three things is difficult. I have learned so much about not only myself as a person but how I can can incorporate these lessons in my daily life. 

I think the greatest lesson we worked on was Communication and The Self-Concept. To understand this you must first understand what self-concept is. It is the image you have of yourself, not only of your appearance but your emotional state, you likes and dislikes, your values and the roles you play in life. However, deeper into this lesson we learned about social comparison: evaluating yourself in comparison to others. When I worked through this section, it caused me to take a deeper look at myself as a mother. I know I am not the only one, this is an internal battle with many mothers I know. We look at the way we parent and compare to the other mothers around us. We see the “Pintrest Mom” who has the time and creativity to make things with and for their children such as dinners from scratch every night or homemade halloween costumes. This type of mom always makes me second guess myself when I store buy costumes or run through a fast food restaurant for the third time in a week because I am strapped for time. Or, the mom who refuses to yell or punish their children because “They’re just children and they need to be free to make mistakes.” So I catch myself thinking I am too hard on my kids and my expectations are too high. After reading this section, I took a few steps back and paused. I looked at my kids and evaluated them as a whole. They are happy, healthy, loving kids. Their haves go way beyond their needs and they know I love them and protect them with every fiber of my being. I realized that I am a great mom. I may not parent like others but what I do works for us. In the grand scheme of things thats all that really matters.

Another lesson I learned throughout this class was in the chapter entitled Listening: Receiving and Responding. I can’t even begin to explain the difference this lesson made in the communication with others especially, my relationship with my husband. We don’t argue often. However, when we do we tend to get heated and defensive very quickly. It wasn’t until a recent argument that I caught myself not even listening to what he was saying. I was more focused on what I was going to say next. When I stopped myself and started to really listen to what his argument was, it was then, that the argument turned from a defensive ongoing argument to an actual conversation that was met with resolution. I heard him, I took the physiological step to hear the words and his meaning behind them. Which meant that I could begin to understand his emotions and the reason he felt the way he did. I incorporated the questioning and paraphrasing that I learned. Which means that I rephrased or repeated what he had said and asked questions pertaining to his statements. It was really almost comical because I could tell he was taken back by my reaction  and the interaction that we had. The conversation almost instantly changed from a heated argument to a productive conversation. What I think really was most interesting was that once I changed my attitude towards the conversation and calmed down, so did he! A few days after our disagreement, he actually mentioned the difference in the way we argued and I explained to him what I had learned and how it had helped. 

The last of the three greatest lessons I learned would have to be within the Communication Climate chapter. While the first two directly affected me personally as a mother and wife, this one helped me to evaluate myself as a professional. I am a supervisor within a medical office. As a whole I thought I was (and still think I am) a pretty good leader. However, this section helped me with confirming messages through recognition: making a person aware I see and that I am please with what they had done, acknowledgment: verbally expressing my confirmation, and endorsing or supporting my staff. I took this lesson very seriously as I could see how it directly affected our work environment. I have been more conscious of applying these skills to the communication at work. I have noticed an increase moral and a boost in the overall happiness of everyone at work. When they do something well I use nonverbal skills such as smiling or nodding my head. I make weekly announcements of achievements through goal settings. I endorse everyone and talk highly of everyone and use examples of things they have done during our meetings. Although everything can’t always be sunshine and rainbows at work. 

So far my first semester of college has been difficult, its honestly hard for me to keep up with having a full time job and doing doordash as a side job as I am going to school at the same time. But I know I want to do it. I am really aiming high for my writing career, and right now I am still in the process of writing my book “Starting life at 18″ If any of you readers know any information about how to get a book published please LET ME KNOW!!!!

xoxo