merry christmas y’all, i offer you this:
penelope LOVES gossip & ofc emily won’t tell her off the bat what’s going on with morgan and reid. one kiss per detail, she’s gotta get her pay
the gossip? spencer & derek have been stealing all the silverware from the bau kitchen to make a giant silver hotch, it’s been 2 years since they started...
the issue is almost everyone in the bau knows. jj found out last year when she opened reid’s bag to see it filled to the brim with forks. ever since then she makes sure they get away with it, she’s the cover story. everyone always believes the mom
emily’s been in on it from the start. she keeps the supply moving and if needed distract hotch from the monstrosity they’re making. she’s trained for this her whole life, being this annoying is truly a blessing
reid’s on architecture and building, everyone says he got that engineering degree for nothing! look at him now, building a man out of forks. derek on the other hand smuggles the goods out to spencer. he’s gotten really good at it
once rossi found out what they were doing he wanted no part in it, the issue? you know what’s happening, you work. so rossi’s the lookout and as per “emily’s rookie rules” he gets stuck holding excess silverware until they need it. hotch thinks he’s hiding whiskey in the lock drawer in his office, it’s just forks, spoons & knives
now how does penelope come into play? she was originally hidden from the operation for fear of (accidently)telling hotch. that was part of emily’s job but pen can only take so much phoney gossip from em. she’s in now & no she doesn’t have to follow “emily’s rookie rules.” pen keeps up the cover story with jj by launching a fake investigation to find the silverware thief. her mock outrage is also perfect distraction while derek grabs more spoons
they haven’t been caught yet, silverware hotch is almost done. the next step? kidnap the real hotch and replace him
