#silvernautilus

She was small. She was spunky. She could be annoying, but she always had good intentions. She was very energetic. When she wanted something, she could be hard to say no to. Most importantly, she adored her big brother.

He and Ann were far apart in age, so they were never too close. Dick didn’t have much of a hand in raising her through childhood. By the time Ann was entering kindergarten, Dick was already headed off to college, but he saw enough of her growing up for them to form a healthy bond. He watched her grow from a gummy baby, to a bouncing preeten, to the fine young woman she is today. He couldn’t be prouder to call himself Ann’s brother.He is a big brother. He is a big brother. He can do this.This is the mantra he repeats to himself the entire drive to the train station.“I fucked up,” was the first thing Nix said to him when he jumped out of bed this morning. Dick, who’d barely even taken a sip of his coffee and was unused to see Nix up so early, only raised his eyebrows. “I fucked up, Dick, shit, I fucked up so hard, Kathy’s going to murder me –”If Nix’s ex-wife tried to kill him Dick would be more than willing to fight for his life, but he figured that’s a given. “Slow down,” he said instead. “What’s going on?”Nix turned to him with very wide eyes and spat out one word that sent an icy jolt  down Dick’s spine. “Maddie.”Oh, thought Dick; then, with dawning horror, oh. Nix had mentioned that Kathy was planning a vacation with no room for her daughter to come along, and had asked Nix to take the little girl for a few weeks. It would be a big adjustment for Nix (who only had contact with his daughter on occasional visits to New York). She’s never visited her father at his home before, and Nix’s daughter (and Kathy by extension) definitely doesn’t know he’s living with another man.Nix had asked Dick how he felt about Maddie coming to stay with him. Of course, Dick told him that he was fine with it. She’s Nix’s daughter, which makes her as much Dick’s family as Nix himself. If Madeline has to stay with them for a while, that’s alright with Dick.The biggest problem is how little warning he received. Nix mentioned Maddie might be coming soon, but he never gave an exact date. At no time in the past few days has he been building up to his daughter’s visit. Nix was, apparently, as oblivious as Dick until the moment he woke up this morning and remembered that Maddie’s train is coming in today. The same day he has a large business meeting with his father than that will keep him occupied for most of the afternoon.Dick didn’t miss a beat before volunteering to take off work to pick up Maddie. Leaving a child to ride a train across several states by herself and then sending an unfamiliar chauffeur to pick her up at the airport is such a Nixon thing to do. Nix, who looks back on his own childhood with melancholy-tinged distaste, should never treat his kid the same way. Dick is willing to make sure of that in any way he can.The other small problem is that Dick has no clue how he’s going to handle a little girl for hours, but he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.He’s not nervous about meeting Madeline. He’s not anxious, and he’s definitely not frightened.(“She’s six years old, how can she scare you?” Nix demanded when he noticed how shaky-looking Dick appeared while on his way out the door. “Compliment her dress, give her a new stuffed animal. She’ll be fine.”Dick has a sneaking suspicion this is Nix’s go-to for handling all women.)Dick has stared down Nazis. He’s jumped hundreds of feet into enemy-infested territory. He’s faced the frigid Winters of Bastogne. He confessed his love to his best friend. He may be many things, but a fearful man is not one of them. He is not afraid of Nix’s daughter.He’s able to convince himself of this right up to the moment the little girl steps off the train.Madeline Nixon is, in many ways, an echo of her father. She has the same olive-toned skin and thick brows. Dark hair falls in ringlets past her shoulders, framing even darker eyes. Her face is heart-shaped, her nose broader, a tiny scar intersecting the end of her left eyebrow, but she is undoubtedly a Nixon child. She’s Nix’s child, through and through.Her eyes are not drawn to where Dick stands on the platform. She scans the crowds for a moment, not looking like she’s expecting to see anyone, before she takes a step further off the train. Her suitcase is almost as big as her; she lugs it behind her with no small amount of difficulty. Immediately, Dick moves forward to help.When he seizes the back of the suitcase, the girl’s gaze snaps towards him. She might be her father’s daughter, but her stare is all Kathy’s. (Dick remembers that exact same look trained on him when he would have dinner with the Nixon’s during officer’s training, before Toccoa. He always felt as if Kathy could see through him, pick out secrets he never even knew he was harboring. Now he has a better idea of what they were.)He swallows back the lump of unease in his throat. There’s nothing to be nervous about. “Are you Maddie?” he asks. “Madeline Nixon?”Something shifts in the girl’s eyes, from suspicion to understanding. She nods her head. “You’re my driver,” she says without preamble.“Umm… no.” The answer is awkward, but Dick doesn’t know what else to say. He wasn’t prepared for such a blunt assumption. “I’m your dad’s friend. He wants me to show you around for a little while. My name’s Dick.”He offers the girl his hand. She has to let go of her end of the suitcase in order to shake it, but it seems like she appreciates the gesture. She also doesn’t protest when Dick hefts the heavy case up onto his own shoulders (once again, typical Nixon).Dick leads her to the car. Maddie doesn’t say much of anything until she’s sliding into the back seat, and Dick is securing the luggage next to her. When he reaches over to help her with her belt, she shakes her head. “I can do it.”“Oh. Okay.” He steps back and lets the child do her work. When it’s obvious she doesn’t need help, she climbs into the front seat.Even as they begin to drive, Maddie doesn’t say anything. She stares out the side of the car, watching the industrial streets of Nixon roll by. The soft sound of her humming drifts through Dick’s ears. As much as he isn’t a chauffeur, he sure feels like one.“So, you’re here for a few weeks,” he finally says. “That’s going to be fun.”Maddie hums. She doesn’t spare him more than a glance. “My mother wanted to go to Maro Lago. I would have been a hind-rance–” (this word she pronounces with awkwardness, clearly echoing someone else) “– on the trip. So I came here instead.”Dick might not know children well, but he’s always been good at reading people. “You don’t think you’ll have a nice time here.”The little girl shrugs, folding her hands in her lap. She’s still staring out the window, as if watching something very fascinating that only she can see. “I’m here because no one knew what to do with me,” she replies. The words sound unbearably sad coming from a six year old’s mouth.Dick thinks of the guest room in their home, which Nix has spent the past few weeks decorating with toys and stuffed animals. He bought a dollhouse. He turned the bed into a (shabby) canopy bed, for pete’s sake, hiring a carpenter and everything. Maddie may have been sent here as an afterthought, but she won’t be treated that way.“I think you’re going to have a very nice time,” he tells her. “In fact, you can count on it. I live with your dad, so I’ll be seeing the two of you a lot. Hopefully we can all become friends.”Maddie finally looks at him. She doesn’t look enthused, but she also doesn’t look discouraged by the possibility. She looks like she does not quite dare to hope. “Yeah,” she says. “That would be nice.”

Dick learns a lot about little girls in the following week.

He’s busy working through most of the day, from early morning until late afternoon, so he doesn’t get to seen much of Nix and Maddie’s morning routine. According to Nix, Maddie likes waffles more than pancakes, and will only drink orange juice if it’s been thoroughly drained of pulp. She always picks out her own dress for the day, but needs help tying her shoes. She has several dolls, of varying degrees of creepiness, and likes to carry one at all times. (Her favorite is Linda. This one seems to unnerve Nix the most, probably because it looks uncannily like his ex-wife.)

Then, just after five o’clock, Dick comes home from work, and he gets time with Maddie and Nix firsthand.

Dick learns how to tell when Maddie doesn’t like something for dinner, just from the way she pushes it on her plate. He learns to give each character a funny voice while reading bedtime stories. He learns to brush Maddie’s hair without pulling, at the same time that she very determinedly combs through her doll’s own. He learns how to have tea parties.

“You have to stick your pinky out,” Maddie tells them. “It’s polite.”

Dick and Nix exchange glances before, in unison, sticking their pinkies out.

“Good,” Maddie beams, and takes a sip of her (cold) tea. Dick and Nix do the same.

Dick is in charge of getting Maddie to bed, which is an easier task than she’d let on. She sulks about bedtime, but never tries to escape it, and she gets a thrill out of being hauled into Dick’s arms and carried up the stairs. She only requires one story (which she could by all means read herself, but it’s the principal of the thing) and a night light (which she can not sleep without – as they discovered the first night she was here, sending Nix on a frantic late night search for some source of glow). Dick has taken to brushing his hand over the top of her head at night. She probably doesn’t need this, either, but it feels like the least Dick can do. It’s less than a kiss (they’re far from ready for that) but it shows Maddie that she’s cared for here.

“Sweet dreams,” he says, and closes Maddie’s bedroom door.

He’s never seen Nix so tired as these recent nights. Nix has always been a night owl; but after Maddie gets to bed, it’s not uncommon for Dick to head up to their own bedroom to find Nix splayed out across the bed, half asleep already.

“I don’t know how she does it,” Nix grumbles into the sheets. It takes Dick a few seconds to realize he’s referring to his ex-wife. “Full-time. All day, every day. Oh wait, I do – nannies. That’s all Maddie ever talks about. Nanny Dee says this, Nanny Kate says that. Her mother never says anything to her, ever.”

Dick isn’t sure what to say. “We… could get a nanny.”

“We’re not getting a nanny,” Nix says, so bluntly that Dick’s mouth clicks shut. “I think we are the nannies here, Dick. Both of us. This is what we’ve become.”

Dick is unsure whether this is a bad thing or not, so he settles for running hand hand across the planes of Nix’s back. His lover lets out a soft groan before melting into the sheets.

He can’t recall if he’s ever seen Nix this devoted before. From someone who usually avoids hard work whenever possible, seeing him so determined to give his daughter the best is a revelation. It reveals a new side of Nix that Dick had never realized existed.

He’s trying so hard, and Dick couldn’t be prouder of him.

He leans in, close enough for his words to brush the crest of Nix’s ear, and whispers, “You’re doing good, Lew. You’re doing real good.”

It’s hardly the most he could have said, but somehow it’s just what Nix needed to hear. He turns his head to look at Dick, eyes soft and thoughtful. Not even a second later, his arms loop around Dick’s neck and he pulls him down.

“So are you,” he mutters against Dick’s lips. “Thank you so much.”