#silvercards

I'm back.

I guess.

I don't know if I still want to RP Deuce.

I /am/ staying though.

Except that things are different now.

I'M BALD.

IMAGINE THE HORROR.

I'M FREAKING BALD.

;_______________________;

I probably won't have a lot of involvement with the current Type-0 fandom because I don't want to get pissed off all over again. 

God knows what happened the last time someone from that fandom made me angry.

(more like i threw a hissy tantrum and stopped all forms of communication lolimean)

Tagging everyone who I think is important.

Ahh Risa probably doesn't really care because I've never been active but anyway.

I'll be taking a hiatus for three weeks for Deuce, yes? (not that I've been active much before but) I know Acey roast chocobo's hiatus is about to end and she's going to resume being active soon, but I'm sorry. :c

It's just that sometimes it's hard to find any motivation to roleplay a character who isn't appreciated by anyone anymore.

I've just gotten my finals result yet, and don't get me wrong; it isn't bad in any sense, but I just feel... empty.

Because I can tell you that I've never been able to listen in class/study because of brain tumor yada yada excuses and lousy talk.

Problem is, I've never been doing any of that before and I still managed to score at least a second highest in class, and now I just don't know anymore.

Maybe it's because of some twisted childhood memory thing but I just feel so, so stupid not scoring 70+ for every subject we have.

Funny thing is, I've been scoring only 68 for Literature and English (yes we have it as separate subjects w/e) and I actually got an A for Maths.

And A for everything else, except a retarded B3 for Lit and English.

I just feel really, really stupid, and I feel really, really ridiculous about thinking that way  but still no matter how hard I try and reason with myself I can't help but wonder if I'm getting more and more stupid because of this tumor.

So Deuce goes on hiatus because let's face it nobody likes me anyway

I don't have a lot of self-esteem issues. Except for being borderline overweight and lacking in the brain department, which is frankly all I have.

Maybe it's because my father's coming back tomorrow with his wife and I feel really really scared and I don't ever ever ever want to face them not in a million years.

I feel like nothing's going right anymore.

School's perfectly fine but for some reason I don't want things to be like that.

I'm not used to it.

I'm used to school being a huge wreck of idiots yelling and shouting but lately I've found myself starting to tolerate them and I don't like it. 

I just feel so, so much stress, all of which were non-existent before the exams because I'm just a lazy-ass like that who refuses to study. 

Everything just hurts and everything's just not okay and everything's just growing worse and nobody even likes me anymore and I just want to die and get over life because reasons but that's not a nice thing to do so I can't and that's why I'm so depressed I want to die faster but I can't and I don't want to and I'm not whining about it

and i just feel so much stress

sometimes i feel like my head's being bashed in

sometimes it scares me

sometimes i enjoy the feeling of having my heart crushed

sometimes i can't breathe

silvercards started following you

“If I knew, I would tell you.”

outofcharacter

...er i'm horrible with 'cool' how does 'horribly lame' sound like

MAKE CLASS ZERO TURN INTO PIRATES.

HEY HO!

sorry the idea was fun

I AM RELIVING MAH CHILDHOOOOOD.