"the last piƱa colada of the Imperium" (because she's in my space marine chapter, but you can call it "the last piƱa colada after Sigmar" if you want)

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"the last piƱa colada of the Imperium" (because she's in my space marine chapter, but you can call it "the last piƱa colada after Sigmar" if you want)

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A Daemon Prince of the Emperorās Children charges into battle against Imperial forces (M42, colorized)
HEY GUESS WHAT AN IMPERIAL FISTS FAVOURITE NUT IS?
A WALL-NUT!
@askrogaldorn40k @first-captain-sigismund
Land Raider Lion
Discussing a new Land Raider variant with Cawl.Ā
āYou know what Cawl. Iām pissed nothings named after me. Iām designing my own Land Raider Variant. The Land Raider Lion. Remember the old Land Raiders of my Legion? The ones with grav plates instead of tracks?ā
āYes?ā Said Cawl the communication flickering in and out of static.
āNow we take the main armament of the Dark Talon, the Rift Cannon. Magnify the size and power and mount it on the front. Itāll take away transport capacity but itāll be worth it. Then on the sponsons we add either twin linked lascannons or assault cannons.ā
āBy the Omnissiahā Remarked Cawl.
āYessssā The Lion grinned as he closed the comms.Ā
The tech marines assorted before the Lion shuddered at the sight of their Lord and the thought of the war machine he would have them construct.
(New Home-brew construction required.)
Daven the Huntmaster
Daven started in my army as a Ravenwing biker who I threw a mk4 helm on. Like all of my guys I take a pinch of white paint and underneath his model I write down a name. So hereās Daven. Random Ravenwing biker of squad Azerous a four man squad with an attack bike support.
His first match was nothing spectacular. This was back with our old codex when I could take Ravenwing as troops because of good old Sammy. He and his squad are outflanking to give my squad of Deathwing ready for deep strike on the following turn and perhaps take our my buddies Long Fangs. They come in and in a round of good shooting I wipe out half of those furry fuckers but oh shit here comes a whole squad of uh⦠fucking furries. UHHHHHHH Blood Claws!!! Fucking ha⦠I wish our scouts had power armorā¦. *sighs* Anywho a squad of ten of those fuckers charges the bikes and Iām like. Well fuck there goes that flanking idea. So fight fight fight same Initiative all resolved I kill 4 they kill all waitā¦. no way. 4 armor saves left and all made at 5s and 6s on Daven. Huh no shit. I hit and run out of there straight towards my buddies TEQ (terminator command deathstar blah blah.) and the following turn my Deathwing Deepstrike next to them and unload a glorious amount office into there asses and basically secures us slay the warlord. So Iām like ok ok
Hmmmm Heās worth watching, and my friend agrees. So I start rolling separately for him. Oh and he stole a few wolf totems and shit from the blood claws he kicked the shit out of in thatĀ āTraining accident.ā Allies of the Imperium remember? Ā
So after 4 more games heās only gone down once and that was to lucky las fire so Iām like eh heās just glanced heāll recover, and I play my Ravenwing aggressive as hell (Itās hard to counter a heavy handed ravenwing assault.) so Iām surprised cause his squads died around him time and time again. Finally Iām likeā¦. this guys a Bad Ass and has survived a lot of shit. Thatās Black Knight Material right there. So BOOM I pop on some gibs onto him, give him a sick black robe with red edgings and pop him on a bike with plasma talons, oh and of course his new pick axe of fucking doom.Ā
My friends like fuck ya the next time he sees him (Wish I had a pick guys sorry.)Ā
So next time is a grand campaign that lasts a full month which is Guard/Dark Angels (Me)/ and my buddy as the Space Furries against three chaos war bands all dedicated to diff gods so Nurg/Slanesh/Khorne why no Tzeentch cause JUST AS PLANNED no⦠No.. He just. That Mark sucks balls.Ā
So as Daven roams around blasting away in true DA fashion PREFERRED ENEMY CHAOS YOU HERITICAL FUCKS!! so boom boom boom. Iām like damn Ā heās a good shot. My buddies agree so +1 to BS and later heās charging a chaos term squad that we just hosed with glorious blue and green plasma all over their pink armored back (Probably liked it sick fucks). and killed two with rending hits so weāre like fucking A he just killed two Emperors Children Veterans of the Long war terms no props and survived everythingā¦. +1 WS and Promotion to HUNTMASTER!! Ā So Davens a Huntsmaster your like meh. So what theyāre good but not great.Ā
Well my friends are like you know Daven reminds us of you. Both of your names start with D you like bikes, your a crack shot at the range and you have an addiction to sharp things. Make him your second in command. So we start this new thing kinda based off of miniwargaming and have these fools ready to take over just in case so Daven got another stat line and a fancy new weapon. My Buddies second didnāt like Daven. Thought he was a pussy compared to his thunder wolf.(UNFAIR AF UTHRAL) so we decided the Space Wolf Dark Angel duel was a good way to settle it. So no mounts we have them go toe to toe Daven with his Corvus hammer s+1 ap- rending and Uthral with his Special Frost sword he won during the campaign which others said was somewhat overpowered (*scoffs trying not to snicker* Wasnāt⦠at least I thought so after the duel.) Itās a s+1 ap4 power sword/spear sword with instant death to represent that a single cut could freeze an opponent in place. So Daven starts combat I roll first with my 4 attacks 2 base, pistol, charge so boom boom boom I hit and I get three wounds. Uthral only has three so heās like fuck me in the wolf ass.Ā
We agreed to roll saves after. (None rending.) He swings with his 4 attacksā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. Everyone else started laughing. 1,1,1,4ā¦ā¦. He rolls and wounds.Ā
NOW THE MOMENTS YOUāVE MAYBE NOT KNOWING YOU WERE WAITING FOR!!!
I rolled a 3 on the armor saveā¦.
The narrative is this. Uthral swung his sword. Daven catches it on his gauntlet then proceeds to beat the shit out of Uthral. Uthral fails all saves. As a bonus for the one round wonder Daven levels up in the campaign and as a trophy I take Uthrals helm, his sword, and his fucking wolf pelt because of his shitty attitude something which should make any Space Wolf player mad that I have an awesome SW sword and helm. All DA players I expect appropriate praise. Ah fuck it all of you praise me. So on the Level up table I roll +1 to Initiative and with some extra points laying around and a broken Tech Marine around I Kitbash together some sweet looking artificer armor with his robe, a wolf pelt over shoulder, this new fuck ass big sword thatās insta gibing gits everywhere. Daven became a killer of legendary preparations on the tabletop. It was him I eventually brought over to Deathwatch and now heās leading a custom faction I made the Lost but Unforgotten. His rules at the end of the campaign are as follows.
WS 5 BS 5 S4 T4 (5) Ā I5 W3 A3 Ld 10 sv2+5++
Rage (Table rolled rule [Laugh as you imagine those attacks]), Ravenwing, Grim Resolve, Preferred enemy Chaos, Dickus bigger than yoursus (lol).Ā
So ya. Basically i made most Captains start wishing they were him and I could bring him at the cost of one in most games as long as my opponent didnāt mine. Overall. LOST LORD FOR LIFE

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The Emperor:Ā Emperor's receive meaningless threats all the time. It's really no big deal.
Ra Endymion:Ā Of course. Totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that's right 'cause it threatens death!
because Ferrus Manus in a thong is too good to not share
//In my adventures yesterday, I came across this Heresy. I'm not sure if this is some Rogue Traders idea of a joke or the Imperium has started embracing dirty Xenos.