#sillyhammer

A WALL-NUT!

Discussing a new Land Raider variant with Cawl. 

“You know what Cawl. I’m pissed nothings named after me. I’m designing my own Land Raider Variant. The Land Raider Lion. Remember the old Land Raiders of my Legion? The ones with grav plates instead of tracks?”

“Yes?” Said Cawl the communication flickering in and out of static.

“Now we take the main armament of the Dark Talon, the Rift Cannon. Magnify the size and power and mount it on the front. It’ll take away transport capacity but it’ll be worth it. Then on the sponsons we add either twin linked lascannons or assault cannons.”

“By the Omnissiah” Remarked Cawl.

“Yessss” The Lion grinned as he closed the comms. 

The tech marines assorted before the Lion shuddered at the sight of their Lord and the thought of the war machine he would have them construct.

Daven started in my army as a Ravenwing biker who I threw a mk4 helm on. Like all of my guys I take a pinch of white paint and underneath his model I write down a name. So here’s Daven. Random Ravenwing biker of squad Azerous a four man squad with an attack bike support.

His first match was nothing spectacular. This was back with our old codex when I could take Ravenwing as troops because of good old Sammy. He and his squad are outflanking to give my squad of Deathwing ready for deep strike on the following turn and perhaps take our my buddies Long Fangs. They come in and in a round of good shooting I wipe out half of those furry fuckers but oh shit here comes a whole squad of uh… fucking furries. UHHHHHHH Blood Claws!!! Fucking ha… I wish our scouts had power armor…. *sighs* Anywho a squad of ten of those fuckers charges the bikes and I’m like. Well fuck there goes that flanking idea. So fight fight fight same Initiative all resolved I kill 4 they kill all wait…. no way. 4 armor saves left and all made at 5s and 6s on Daven. Huh no shit. I hit and run out of there straight towards my buddies TEQ (terminator command deathstar blah blah.) and the following turn my Deathwing Deepstrike next to them and unload a glorious amount office into there asses and basically secures us slay the warlord. So I’m like ok ok

Hmmmm He’s worth watching, and my friend agrees. So I start rolling separately for him. Oh and he stole a few wolf totems and shit from the blood claws he kicked the shit out of in that “Training accident.” Allies of the Imperium remember?  

So after 4 more games he’s only gone down once and that was to lucky las fire so I’m like eh he’s just glanced he’ll recover, and I play my Ravenwing aggressive as hell (It’s hard to counter a heavy handed ravenwing assault.) so I’m surprised cause his squads died around him time and time again. Finally I’m like…. this guys a Bad Ass and has survived a lot of shit. That’s Black Knight Material right there. So BOOM I pop on some gibs onto him, give him a sick black robe with red edgings and pop him on a bike with plasma talons, oh and of course his new pick axe of fucking doom. 

My friends like fuck ya the next time he sees him (Wish I had a pick guys sorry.) 

So next time is a grand campaign that lasts a full month which is Guard/Dark Angels (Me)/ and my buddy as the Space Furries against three chaos war bands all dedicated to diff gods so Nurg/Slanesh/Khorne why no Tzeentch cause JUST AS PLANNED no… No.. He just. That Mark sucks balls. 

So as Daven roams around blasting away in true DA fashion PREFERRED ENEMY CHAOS YOU HERITICAL FUCKS!! so boom boom boom. I’m like damn  he’s a good shot. My buddies agree so +1 to BS and later he’s charging a chaos term squad that we just hosed with glorious blue and green plasma all over their pink armored back (Probably liked it sick fucks). and killed two with rending hits so we’re like fucking A he just killed two Emperors Children Veterans of the Long war terms no props and survived everything…. +1 WS and Promotion to HUNTMASTER!!  So Davens a Huntsmaster your like meh. So what they’re good but not great. 

Well my friends are like you know Daven reminds us of you. Both of your names start with D you like bikes, your a crack shot at the range and you have an addiction to sharp things. Make him your second in command. So we start this new thing kinda based off of miniwargaming and have these fools ready to take over just in case so Daven got another stat line and a fancy new weapon. My Buddies second didn’t like Daven. Thought he was a pussy compared to his thunder wolf.(UNFAIR AF UTHRAL) so we decided the Space Wolf Dark Angel duel was a good way to settle it. So no mounts we have them go toe to toe Daven with his Corvus hammer s+1 ap- rending and Uthral with his Special Frost sword he won during the campaign which others said was somewhat overpowered (*scoffs trying not to snicker* Wasn’t… at least I thought so after the duel.) It’s a s+1 ap4 power sword/spear sword with instant death to represent that a single cut could freeze an opponent in place. So Daven starts combat I roll first with my 4 attacks 2 base, pistol, charge so boom boom boom I hit and I get three wounds. Uthral only has three so he’s like fuck me in the wolf ass. 

We agreed to roll saves after. (None rending.) He swings with his 4 attacks……………. Everyone else started laughing. 1,1,1,4……. He rolls and wounds. 

NOW THE MOMENTS YOU”VE MAYBE NOT KNOWING YOU WERE WAITING FOR!!!

I rolled a 3 on the armor save….

The narrative is this. Uthral swung his sword. Daven catches it on his gauntlet then proceeds to beat the shit out of Uthral. Uthral fails all saves. As a bonus for the one round wonder Daven levels up in the campaign and as a trophy I take Uthrals helm, his sword, and his fucking wolf pelt because of his shitty attitude something which should make any Space Wolf player mad that I have an awesome SW sword and helm. All DA players I expect appropriate praise. Ah fuck it all of you praise me. So on the Level up table I roll +1 to Initiative and with some extra points laying around and a broken Tech Marine around I Kitbash together some sweet looking artificer armor with his robe, a wolf pelt over shoulder, this new fuck ass big sword that’s insta gibing gits everywhere. Daven became a killer of legendary preparations on the tabletop. It was him I eventually brought over to Deathwatch and now he’s leading a custom faction I made the Lost but Unforgotten. His rules at the end of the campaign are as follows.

WS 5 BS 5 S4 T4 (5)  I5 W3 A3 Ld 10 sv2+5++

Rage (Table rolled rule [Laugh as you imagine those attacks]), Ravenwing, Grim Resolve, Preferred enemy Chaos, Dickus bigger than yoursus (lol).