#silastuff

im all prepped & motivated for november and my cat is trying to tell you that we’re gonna roar this month 🐱💪🏼

31.10.16 // starting my day with the ah-may-zing breakfast that i just prepared for myself 😋 also working on november's monthly overview. i promised myself to be %100 productive this month, it means no sleep ins, no procrastination and no binge watching greys anatomy. lets make this month the best of all 💪🏼

Monday // October 10, 2016 Im shocked. I cant believe the amount of people that have been replying & sending me messages. Im very motivated right now, and thanks to you i know im not alone and i can do this ✨ You guys, are the BEST FREAKIN COMMUNITY EVER. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THIS WORLD 🌺 (and i'll try to reply all of you when i got time in my hand cause im so thankful 🙏🏻)

16.09.2016 // High school has ended, all my friends are going to college and i couldnt get the score for med school at my nationals. yeah, i failed. SO WHAT? Let me tell you what, i'll be at home studying for the nationals again but this time with strong steps, straight voice & determination. Oh and no school! Yay! Its hard. Its hard to stay for another year. Its hard to see everyones college photos. Its hard to disappoint everyone including myself. Its hard to fail. So i need my community's support. Can you please send me some motivation? I love you all 🐱

2nd April Saturday // it was a loooong day with lots of snacks and studying

Imagine a tiring day. You slept late yesterday cause you were anxious about your math exam. Your project's due was today. You had a fight with your sister in the morning cause she hates it when you wear her clothes but you wear them anyway. It is definitely a bad day. Then your friends ask you if you want to go out this evening? Maybe you can go to the centre of city and enjoy some tea & chat with friends? You are saying hell yeah. Cause you love your friends and you love the centre of your city. So you are out. You are meeting with them at your favourite cafe and you laugh and talk about the boys you like. Its not a bad day anymore. Its all good. Untill it happens. Until the bomb explodes. Untill there are sirens and people screaming. Untill you are on the ground and you see a man just died at the end of the street. You want to touch your friends and thats how you see that you're bleeding. You are trying to understand whats happening but there are only screams. No one is coming to help you. You are trying to see if your friends are okay. One of them is not. Her eyes are closed. She doesnt seems like breathing. She is bleeding. The centre you love, is bleeding. You are crying but no one is coming to help you. Its only sirens. Seems like a very, very awful scenario right? This is happening in my country right now. We are bleeding. We are dying. You were Charlie, you were Paris. Will you be Turkey?

•It's a taboo subject. So most of the time you will have no one to talk about it and it will kill you to bury up everything inside. WRITE. Write the hell of it. It helps a lot. •I know you have trust issues and i want you to know it's okay if you say "i trust you" to people and not mean it. Don't blame yourself. But also please do yourself a favour and see a psychiatrist to get over it like im gonna do. •If you ever had thoughts like "even my own dad doesn't love me how can anyone love me?" Please. P l e a s e. You are lovable. WE are lovable. •Parents dont have to be perfect. We dont get to choose them and they dont have to be good. Accept it. Also one important thing you should know that children dont have to fix their parents but parents have to raise their child. Don't blame yourself for anything. •Sometimes you will feel like your dad's turning you into something like him. Dont allow him. Stay as yourself. Stay good. •It sucks to be in the same home with him. I know it sucks. But instead of letting him to ruin your future try harder on your goals get into a great college and start building your own shining future. •One day, kido, one day we'll forgive them. One day we'll accept they didnt mean to hurt us. Somebody hurt them too. •And lastly some good forgiving songs to listen when you are angry; -Oh Father by Madonna/Sia -Father by Demi Lovato