#side roceit

But then Roman starts falling hard for one of Remus’ best friends – straying from his own friendship groups of theatre kids. And, well, Janus fell hard back. And suddenly he was seeing a lot more of his brother around school and a lot more of his friend at home. Not that he hated either one of them, he couldn’t, and he hated to admit that they were right for each other. Janus helped Roman calm down, and Roman helped Janus to smile.

Remus was just… bitter? Jealous? Exhausted? Maybe all of the above. He’d never confess it to anyone. Ever.

Roman has just come off the phone from who Remus assumes was Janus going by the two-hour time period and the giant smile on his twin’s face as well as the not so subtle blush on his cheeks.

Remus made a noise of distaste, uttering, “Everyone's in a relationship all of a sudden, I don't understand what's so special about it, it's gross...”

“It’s not gross!” Roman defended, his hand braced against his chest in that mock-offended way, “you’ve just got to find that special person, Rem, then you’ll understand, it might not be soon but you will, then you’ll understand how Jay makes me feel.”

Remus gags, “I don’t think I want to feel that.”

Roman sputters, blushing even brighter, “not like that!”

Remus’ laughter echoes throughout the house, following Roman to the kitchen.

And they rarely bring it up again. They almost forget about it. They graduate, they go to college, they move out, Roman and Jay get married, Remus cries even though he firmly denies it, and they carry on with life. Remus does think about his own love life, a lot, too much, he hates how cold and empty his little apartment gets, he hates waking up alone and yet he hates waking up with a one-night stand just as much. He doesn’t fall in love; he merely falls in lust. And he questions his romantic orientation.

But then, finally, it happens. He meets him. It’s unlike the ways they portray it in movies and in books, different from the way Roman explained it, different from anything he’s ever felt before. He simply felt drawn to this man, intrigued and attracted in a way different that before. He didn’t want to lead this man to bed and kick him out in the morning, no, he wants to lead this man to his bed and make him breakfast in the morning, listen to his rants, to his problems, hold him close, keep him safe.

Remus becomes sweeter, softer, gentle. He takes him out for dinner and coffee, to the museum, to hilltops on starry nights. And in turn he learns to laugh, to not take himself so seriously, to take care of himself

“...oh, okay. I get it,” he whispers into the dark of their bedroom. Feeling all too awake despite the hour but not wanting to move and disrupt his sleeping boyfriend.

Logan, laying with his head on his chest, eyes closed and breathing slow, looking beautiful and ethereal under the moonlight. And Remus can’t look away. He’s drawn to Logan, like there’s an inexplicable force dragging him closer. He dares not to say it aloud but maybe he’s in love with the smart talking, stoic, secretly a sweetheart of a boyfriend of his.