#sickofeverything

When you can relate so much on the song, “I’m so tired” by Lauv every single day, how do you feel? Hmm, honestly you will lose hope, you lose the push to continue. You are in this mundane office job that God knows you hate it so much as you are not an office person. The moment you want to have a breather, people in the office will question you. So in the end, you stuck in this desk of yours are not feel anything. Or you felt is numbness, every single weekdays.

You want to achieve that dream of yours yet ha, you will never achieve anyway. Because of this job. You are 25 and that is like half of it turning 30.

Well no, I guess I didn't. But that had exactly nothing to do with COVID. I drove Uber part time, and around the end of September I was informed that I could no longer drive for Uber, by Uber. They had found something on my background check they didn't like. I wasn't aware that they do one of those very year. And, they wouldn't tell me what it was, or asked me anything about it, or wanted to hear my side of it. I had to do some digging to find out what was up their ass. Long story short, I got a ticket in the work truck because work didn't do something, so work said they would "take care" of the ticket. Guess what work didn't do. Right. So, I end up pleading down to some no point fraudulent license plate violation to get everything dismissed. Uber took offense to that. So, I lost that income in 2020. But, as far as the one job goes, I made more in 2020 than the year before.

I felt lucky at first. We were being considered "essential workers." I don't think we are, but whatever, no one asked me to decide. Then after watching some of my neighbors hanging out, doing little things around the building, like building gardens, with cute other neighbors, and collecting that extra $600 in unemployment, while still being attached to their jobs, made me wish I could stay home and make pretty much my regular salary. It was a lot like the idea I would have watching co workers go have cigarette breaks. I would wish I smoked so I could go have smoke breaks too. That was a short lived thought. I don't like smoking, anymore, and I could still go with them, just not smoke. They didn't care. And as long as I didn't mind all their smoke, it was cool.

until you messaged me on Wednesday.....