Link under the cut.

The lock clicked loudly and you stopped struggling. Your wrists were getting raw anyway, your shoulders taut near their sockets. The colony leader strode through the door and closed it behind him. He had a weathered plate carrier on and his face was painted red. As if he was going to war.

You chuckled grimly. “You have twenty minutes left to live and you're spending it with me? Damn.”

Hannibal squatted down in front of you and stared up at you from there, drawing your own knife from your own boot. You were starting to get really fed up with males in power intimidating you as they saw fit.

He pointed at you with your knife, the sleek antler hilt disappearing in his large hand. He wasn't a big man, but he had comically large hands and feet. He looked like a badly drawn cartoon character, now more than ever.

“I wanna know how my son died,” he stated.

“What, so you can kill me in the same manner?”

“Maybe.”

“You'll need a bigger knife, then.”

for the record, angst really does hurt me but if y’all ask then i will deliver!! 

part 1 of this ask in case anyone is wondering 

@coffeebeanssss @connorfixinghistie @connorshero @wiredhawkes @heartsarecompatible

::

“what did you do to piss allen off so much?”

you don’t process the question right away, internally flinching at the name of your former…well, he was never really yours in any way, was he? even after all you’ve done for him, to him, and with him… none of that really matters.

and because nothing does—no matter how much it destroys you to think that nothing does—you only offer a strained smile as a response to the inquiry that you yourself don’t know the answer to.

he has some nerve acting like you wronged him, after all.

he constantly broke your heart. he used you and took advantage of the powerful connection between the two of you, completely disregarding your feelings. he continued to sleep around even after you begged him to stop because you loved him and he knew that.

so how can he possibly be upset when you finally decide to call it quits?

you’ve successfully managed to avoid having to be alone with him the past few days, but the station is only so big. you’re not that surprised when he finally corners you in the break room while you’re busy staring at the vending machine for a quick snack. the fact that he’s even on the same floor as you is intriguing in its own right considering how much effort he used to spend actively evading your presence.

“hey.”

the familiarity of his voice makes you tremble but you don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you do so. instead, you pocket your loose change, your appetite ripped away by the simple utterance of just a single word. you spin on your heel, never once looking at the face that hasn’t stopped haunting you since the day you closed the door on it. “excuse me.”

he grabs your wrist then. not painfully, not enough to hurt. but still, it surprises you into tilting your head upwards. you make the mistake of looking into his light blue eyes, ones that can very easily break your resolve if you let them.

(you aren’t going to. not this time)

“i just want to talk,” he pleads, a rare occurrence considering how fucking proud he is. part of you is touched, flattered, that he’s willing to even try. this part wants you to throw your arms around his neck and kiss those perfect set of lips because you ache to be with him and it tears you apart knowing that you can’t.

but that’s the foolish part, you remind yourself firmly. the same part of you that blindly allowed david allen to take control of a huge portion of your life to begin with, a portion that you’ve only just gained back.

you shake your head and his face falls. his grip on your wrist loosens and you take that opportunity to tug it back to your side. just as you turn around to walk away once again, his voice stops you in your tracks.

“please.”

any other day, you would have jumped at this opportunity. you would have thrown yourself into his arms and cried and kissed his face. you would have let him take you home and lose yourself to his burning touch because really, you belong together.

but today isn’t any other day.

you’ve already made up your mind, already started picking up the broken pieces that no longer fit the hole in your chest because he’s taken—destroyed—some of them.

you refuse to let yourself be deluded by his gentle words and pleading smiles any longer.

it hurts, though.

it hurts to keep walking, to pretend you don’t hear his desperate attempts to explain himself to you.

it hurts to physically shove past him when he tries to prevent you from leaving, from turning your back on what he stubbornly refuses to acknowledge, even now, is the most meaningful relationship in his life.

(“i’m in love with you”)

his words fall on deaf ears.

—————

“Caesar's spirit never left the apes, then?”

“A part of him is in me.”

You turn to Proximus, as does everyone. He appears to be dead serious, with his back straight, his head slightly bowed as his elbows lay on the armrests. He looks very kingly to you now.

“I have always felt him with me,” he explains. “Like a hand on my shoulder. A whisper in my ear. I am not as pious as some of those present, but Caesar has a task for me. I will see it done, for the betterment of all apes.”

“Apes together strong,” Lightning says solemnly, and everyone repeats it except you and Trevathan.

You don't believe a word of the spirit nonsense, but you can't decide if Proximus is delusional or is riding the religion train until he reaches “mythical god-king” status. You keep it to yourself.

“And I will help you with that task, Caesar,” you say solemnly.

“I know. That's why you're here. Humans are necessary at court.”

With that subtle verbal middle finger from him towards said court, he turns to Sylva and starts chatting about the new furniture. The apes start talking amongst themselves, while Pippa asks you to show her Hannibal's teeth. She and Lightning are a perfect match, together they make a whole brain cell. She is very nice, though, if not particularly threatening to, say, four Gorillas.

“You're doing great,” Trevathan whispers to you.

He looks completely at ease and isn't bothered by the lack of attention directed towards him. He must be used to it.

“Wanna try the stew?” You inquire, extending a spoonful.

“Nnno, thank you.”

I'm in autistic and creative burnout. I don't think I'll abandon the fic, but I'm not capable of writing anything meaningful at the moment, let alone in bulk, much to my chagrin - biiiiiig fucking chagrin, size of a blue whale. Alas.

@coffeebeanssss oh man yet another song describing a dysfunctional relationship with daddy and oops here’s another blurb on that i love it 

also you’re very welcome for the daddy clark content <3 the man is an absolute babe and i can’t get enough of him

::

you honestly would have considered what you had with him a relationship until you see him leading an unfamiliar figure out of the bar, one of his arms wrapped around their waist as he pushes the heavy door open. you practically throw your mostly-untouched drink onto the table before running after them, your mind fuzzy, your heart numb.

outside, the cold detroit air hits your face, but that’s not your biggest concern right now.

“david!” you yell angrily at the SWAT captain, who’s gently helping the stranger into the back of the taxi. he doesn’t acknowledge you right away, making sure they’re safely inside.

you take a step forward, your teeth clenched. “what the fuck are you doing?”

he turns then, and you’re shocked at the coldness in his light blue eyes when they land on you. “what i want. i told you it didn’t mean anything.”

and he did. multiple times.

when you first tried to reach for his hand at the coffee shop after spending the night with him, he’d glared at you and told you to keep your distance.

each time you approached him at work, which you only did when nobody was around, he’d demand that you leave him alone.

even after he’d shown up unannounced at your doorstep and you’d given him what you probably shouldn’t have considering how fucking little he thought of you, he’d ignored your pleas to stay the night and informed you that he just passed by to blow off some steam on the way back home.

he uses you. plain and simple.

but despite all that, you need him. it’s horrifying how much you do.

(you love him)

the next day at work, you try to stay away from captain allen. the feeling of watching him take someone else home last night made you so sick, you almost threw up outside the bar. you don’t want anything to do with him anymore, not after he made it so painfully obvious how irrelevant you are in his life.

david allen is full of issues and you honestly should have realized earlier that you’re not responsible for fixing any of them. he doesn’t commit, he doesn’t respect your feelings, and overall, he just doesn’t give a fuck.

but then he brings you donuts in the morning when you look particularly stressed out. he comforts you after one of your cases goes south and you end up shooting someone for the first time. he surprises you with takeout at home when you don’t come to work and then kisses you so hard you feel yourself floating away.

you know that there’s chemistry between the two of you. there’s no denying it. if he would only be honest with himself and actually give your relationship a chance, then maybe he’d see how perfect you are for each other, and how easily you could fix him if he’d just let you.

but he won’t.

and you finally understand that now.

he drops by that evening with some food and a half-assed apology that you almost believe. the idea of spending the night cuddled next to him while eating takeout from your favorite restaurant is so appealing that you almost break and let him in.

but then you catch glimpse of that smug look on his face, the look that tells you that he knows you’ll always take him back no matter how badly he hurts you.

(he’s right)

Hiii 💙 I still get comments and likes on Sic Itur Ad Astra, met a friend through it who profoundly impacted me, it feels really nice that people have enjoyed it. Not to sound dramatic or anything but I've lost something writing wise and idk how to get it back, SIAA would be on the top of my list to finish