#shreads

One More Cigarette

One Last Bowl

One more poem, even though I’ve written this one before

Started the same way, with the same intention

But all I need to

To squash this intention

The one that I keep having

That keeps me up at night

A keeps be clawing at my pillow, nightly

Tearing it to shreds, fluffy synthetic shreds.

Anything to keep me from clawing my own wounds open

Just to show you that I can bleed

And that I can feel pain

And that I seek forgiveness.

So you can take the needle and thread and sew my cuts

Right back up

Gently, but firmly.

Stop the bleeding,

But continue reading my eyes

Every time we talk

Because behind that all knowing smirk

That is forever pastel shaded on my face

You’re gaining my approval

You’re passing the test

You’re making my heart open to you.

And if only you knew

How much it meant when you were open to me to

Then you would know what you mean to me.

One last cigarette

One last bowl

One more way to bury you.