#shoutbird

that does appear to be where our implications have led us.

supercut

hard feelings

the louvre

liability

writer in the dark

green light

perfect places

liability (reprise)

sober ii

loveless

homemade dynamite

@shoutbird replied to your post: @shoutbird replied to your post “@himborc replied...

and like it sucks shit but the stuff with the handmaiden’s master is very much the exiles ex which i enjoyed in my run through as a lady

so preamble 1: this list is fucking huge because i made it while trying out a new adhd med and accidentally hyperfocused into like the seventh dimension. i am deeply sorry.

preamble 2: cheryl blossom isn't a character that has to be clear from the very start. cheryl blossom is totally best described by maybe @shoutbird: a primal truth locked inside a teen suit

with that out of the way let’s get this show on the road:

cheryl blossom is a malevolent trickster god and that only increases as the show goes on

cheryl blossom puts together a gang effortlessly, entirely off-screen

cheryl blossom gets kicked out of a gang for being too good at crime

cheryl blossom tortures a character by waterboarding them in maple syrup

cheryl blossom is literally compared to the batman villain poison ivy one time

cheryl blossom rescues her girlfriend armed solely with a bow and arrow

cheryl blossom once threatens the Big Bad of the season for making her cheer squad vanish, and he registers her as a legitimate threat

cheryl blossom has done battle wielding a scalpel

cheryl blossom has like an entire gothic novel-style plotline that involves literally none of the Core Four

(related to previous) cheryl blossom is shown walking down the halls of a mansion in a flowy nightgown holding only a candelabra for light at least twice over the show's run

one of the musical episodes involves a brutal murder and cheryl blossom is still the bloodiest character to appear in the episode (and she makes it to the musical)

cheryl blossom's ENTIRE cheer squad has a seizure thanks to drug runoff, but she's totally unaffected

cheryl blossom wears white to her brother's funeral

cheryl blossom positions herself as a (sooooooooorta kiiindaaaaaa) antagonist for pretty much a season and a half and when the Core Four talk about going on vacation she walks into the room ("walk" isn't correct, that's not what cheryl does) and gets offended that she's not invited

(related to previous) in the same episode she says: "I'm Cheryl Blossom, a.k.a. Cheryl Bombshell, which means I need no reasons. I simply am. Feel free to tremble." and that's just literally actually a true fact about her

cheryl blossom is sent to like a gay conversion therapy nunnery at the end of one episode and has escaped by the end of the next one

cheryl blossom literally calls archie's dad a DILF to his face, as a greeting

cheryl blossom gives a character a kiss while they're comatose and leaves a bold red lipstick print (saying she's repaying a favor, for she was once given a literal kiss of life after almost drowning herself)

the character survives

cheryl blossom refers to one character by saying "cousin" instead of their name, almost exclusively

cheryl blossom has a battle outfit

cheryl blossom is so good at using her bow and arrow that she is given the class "Deadeye" in EVIL D&D

cheryl blossom has "gypsy blood" via her grandmother

cheryl blossom is almost always at odds with her mother but once the source of conflict is that her mother becomes like a high-class woman of the night and runs the whole thing out of their shared house

cheryl blossom has perfect attendance despite her brother dying, the town being quarantined, and just to reiterate: DESPITE BEING SENT TO THE GAY REEDUCATION NUNNERY

cheryl blossom has a whole episode that's "her mom won't let her into Highsmith College because she's gay" and when she confronts her mom she's told: "that's the price of salt, cheryl"

cheryl blossom calls an rotc member a "cryptofascist" for trying to make her quit holding hands with her gf

cheryl blossom deprograms herself from a large cult almost immediately upon being told that she can't be prom queen