#shortgrassweek2026

“Come on Idi, your chest is right—no, not there—no where are you—oh great! Yeah that’s what I wanted you to do, I wanted you to walk a hundred miles further to that chest. Oh you found nothing? What a surprise!”

Bdubs barely restrains himself from giving the copper gollum a stern kick to the behind, mainly because he’s better than that—and also because it hurt like hell the last time—as he lets out a loud groan of frustration. He’ll be the first to say it since everyone else seems to be simply enamored by these hunks of trash but copper gollums were a complete bust! Xisuma had come over a few days ago with a few tips and tricks and Etho was talking about things he had learned from his own personal disappointments but from what Bdubs was seeing was that they were slow, stupid and basically useless! He wanted nothing more than to drop the robotics class but it was the only class he shared with Etho.

And maybe he wanted to be the one teaching Etho something for once in his life. Sue him!

“Better off teaching lucious 2 to sort items.” He grumbles as he plops down on the nearest chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Mor turns towards him, block of clay in hand, making a little whirling noise that had Bdubs turning his nose up. “No! You can’t just act cute and expect me to like you because of that, it won’t work with Joel and it won’t work with you either.”

“What about me?”

Bdubs jumps up, whipping his head around to see Joel at the front door; smirking at Bdubs from his stupid, eyesore of a hat.

“What are you doing here scum?!” Bdubs spits, almost jumping to shove his newly carved wooden horses into the nearest desk drawer and instinctively stepping in front of his copper gollums just in case Joel decides to switch targets. “If you think I’m letting you near my horses, I’ll slice ya!”

Joel was afraid of horses. It wasn’t something he announced to people but Bdubs had found out one day and…and maybe he thought it’d be funny to surprise Joel with a couple of carved ones in his bag and locker. It wasn’t malicious—it’s not like it was a real horse—it was more like…exposure therapy. Horses were wonderful creatures that only the best like he and Etho could fully appreciate and Bdubs thought that Joel would at least like the woodwork, that is until Joel had cut off all the bodies of the horses and dropped only the heads in every free space in Bdubs’s locker.

“Bdubs! Relax!” Joel exclaims, eyes sparkling with amusement. “I told you I don’t kill horses anymore—”

“Yeah right!”

“—I’m a changed man this year.” He continues when Bdubs scoffs, hand still out in front of the desk. “Remember all the chances I got with Scar’s first ‘attempt’ at a horse carving—Pudding, I think—you remember who killed that horse right?”

Bdubs feels his cheeks heat up. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay! That's different! That’s a long standing vendetta between me and Scar.” He rambles, Joel only raising an eyebrow at him in response. “Normally horses—even fake ones—are beautiful creatures who don’t deserve any harm.”

Joel smirks. “Don’t have to explain to me Bdubs, I thought it was cool.”

“Of course you would, you—” Bdubs cuts himself off with a deep breath right before he could curse out Joel’s entire family lineage and then some. He didn’t have the energy for that after his horrible day with the copper golems. “What do you want Joel? If you’re not here for my horses, what do you want?”

“Wanna see a movie with me?”

Bdubs scoffs, almost recoiling in surprise. “And why would I do that?”

Joel’s face shifts into something softer which only makes Bdubs more on edge, he takes a small step forward; not quite meeting Bdubs’ eyes.

“I heard things ended between you and Etho.”

“We didn’t break up! We’re taking a break!” Bdubs shouts defensively, puffing out his cheeks. Maybe he said that too fast, too loud but he was tired of people saying that things were done when they weren’t! “We are taking a very temporary and short break to sort things out, we’ll be back together before you know it.”

“Even after all the fighting?”

“That’s just me and Etho’s relationship.” Bdubs explains, making a small noise at the back of his throat. “We fight and argue and push each other's buttons because that’s how we bond, I mean if Etho was super nice to me for no reason I would get scared.” Bdubs almost shudders at the very thought, hand on his chest. “That’s our thing, our dynamic. A special connection that nobody can replicate, you can say, we've just known each other for that long.”

Bdubs clears his throat as his heart squeezes tightly in his chest, turning back to face Joel. “I don't expect someone like you to understand.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean you two dated for what? A few months? Psh, amateur numbers.” Bdubs snickers, lips curling into a smug grin. “All you two have left is the same three jokes that you rehash because you guys don’t have anything else to talk about.”

Joel doesn't seem offended, shoving his hands into his pockets. “If you know how to talk to him, why did you guys break up again?”

Bdubs almost reaches over to strangle him.

“Well! I—its complicated!” He gasps, hands squeezing around the edge of the desk. “As I said, someone like you couldn’t begin to comprehend the inner workings of Etho’s mind—”

“When you got unfairly eliminated from the art expo last year did he stand up for you?”

"That's different!” He scowls. “He would’ve gotten kicked out if—”

“So he’ll try to win for you but he won’t defend you when you’re in trouble. Too worried about himself to save you.”

“He cares!” Bdubs hisses, jaw clenched together tightly; blood boiling beneath his skin. “I don’t know why nobody else sees that! He cares about me, he—”

“He’s possessive.” Joel muses, still looking unfazed even as Bdubs stands inches away from him. He's not scared of Bdubs, which was a fact that was going to change if he kept pushing his luck. “Whether it has a use to him or not, he'll never throw it away or let anyone touch it. Not his crappy laptop, his old bag or–” Joel looks at Bdubs, a wide grin and a dismissive look in his eye, “–or an ex-boyfriend.”

Bdubs takes a wild swing at him. Joel catches his fist, twisting his arm with one swift movement that makes his shoulder ache.

“Let go of me you–!”

“What if we pretended to date?” Joel continues, squeezing Bdubs' hand hard in his. “Make him think that you’ve moved on.”

“That won’t work.” Bdubs insists, tugging on his arm still locked in Joel's grip. "He knows me, he knows I’m just—”

“Making him jealous? Well yeah, I know he will, he's not that dumb.” Joel scoffs like it’s obvious, releasing Bdubs’ hand so fast it makes him stumble backwards. “It’s not about him believing we’re madly in love or whatever, it’s about making him think you have no time for him. Make him work for your attention for once.”

“And what do you get out of this huh?” Bdubs counters, one hand on his hips with the other one in Joel’s chest. “You think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes but you’re secretly trying to win him back for yourself aren’t you?”

“Etho? I’m over him.” A lie. Both of them know it. “Take this as a…an olive branch, I just want you to like me Bdubs.”

Joel gives him a sad pout which gets Bdubs to groan. He doesn’t know why Joel has been sucking up to him lately, he's still convinced he's somehow trying to get to his horses.

“Never! Gross! Not in a million years!”

“But I can be such a good boy for you Bdubs.” Bdubs only makes it a half step back when Joel grabs him again–this time by the wrist–voice dripping with enough sweetness to make him sick. “We have so much in common too. Maybe I can convince Etho to share you”

“I’d rather die!”

Joel was pretty, maybe he'd even treat him well…but that wasn't the point! No one who treated horses like that was good in his book!

“Oh but your heart rate is going so fast Bdubs, are you blushing?”

“Just because you’re actin’ crazy.” He spits, throwing Joel's hand off of his arm before pointing towards the door. “Get out of here! Let me work!”

“But what about my proposal?”

“I’ll think about it, now go!”

There's a knock, both of their heads snap to the man near the open door.

“Hello! Anyone home?”

Bdubs is pretty sure both of them could recognize that voice in their sleep at this point. “Act cool.” He hisses.

“I’m always cool.” Joel replies.

“Etho!” Bdubs greets warmly. “I thought you were coming by later.”

“I was but I thought I’d come over now since I had the time.” His eyes are slightly squinted, a sign that he was smiling under the mask. Bdubs is about to speak when Etho’s eyes drift to Bdubs’ left where Joel is fidgeting awkwardly. Bdubs rolls his eyes as Etho looks equally lost on what to say for a second; their awkwardness borderline painful at times. “Joel? Did I interrupt something?”

“Nope! Was just about to leave actually.” Joel grins, snapping into a more relaxed posture before turning back to Bdubs. “I’ll see you tonight, Bdubs!”

“For what?” Etho asks, narrowing his eyes at the two of them.

“Movie.” Joel states, holding back the rest of the explanation with a smile before he's walking out the door. It only takes a second after he's gone for Etho's curiosity to get the better of him.

“When did you and Joel get so close?”

“I wanted to see a movie and he had an extra ticket.” Bdubs explains, biting his tongue before he over explains himself. “Jealous?”

“I thought we were hanging out later?” Etho asks instead of giving a response, the same wetness to his tone whenever he wants something. “You ditching me?”

Normally Bdubs would agree. He’d drop everything to hang out with Etho alone, crawl back to him if he asked; anything to be at the center of his attention. But for a split second he thinks of Joel, his mortal enemy, killer of horses with his stupid hat, his stupid smile and his even stupider plan.

“Can’t shake you off can I?” He chuckles, pushing him playfully away. “We hang out all the time Etho, I can have other friends.”

It wasn't going to work. It wasn't. Etho was going to see right through him right away, he was going to—

“Hey Etho?”

“Yes?”

Bdubs stares at Joel. Joel stares at Bdubs. The rest of the room is silent around them.

Then Bdubs quirks his lips into a smile. “Well, pretty boy, are you gonna kiss me or not?”

“How about not,” Joel answers in a monotone, crossing his arms. “Don’t think you could pay me enough.”

Bdubs scoffs in disbelief. “Please, I’m an excellent kisser.”

“And yet I don’t want to kiss you,” Joel shoots back. “Is that such a shocker?”

Etho pipes up, because Etho can never keep his mouth shut. “You know, if you’re not gonna kiss him, you’ll have to do something else.”

Bdubs turns to look at him. “And what's that?” he asks.

Etho’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

Something in Bdubs’ chest flutters at that thought. They’re in Etho’s house, and Bdubs knows that Etho has a little coat closet where they’ll surely be shoved. The idea of that close proximity with Joel, face to face. It’s thrilling. Part of him hopes Joel won’t balk at the thought and will hold firm, just to see where it will go.

“Pfft,” says Joel. “I can manage that.”

Etho grins, hopping to his feet and ushering Bdubs and Joel to the closet, exactly as Bdubs expected, and they stand there staring out at him. “Seven minutes,” he reminds them. “Gimme your phones.”

Reluctantly, they hand them over, and the door latches quietly, casting them into darkness. The coat closet is quiet for a moment before Joel speaks.

“This is dumb.”

Bdubs sighs. “Mhm.”

“You suck.”

“Mhm.”

“You’re annoying.”

“I get it, ya don’t like me.”

Joel huffs. “I didn’t say I don’t like you. I just don’t want to kiss you.”

Bdubs wishes he could see him, to read in his eyes what he’s thinking. He tries to envision Joel, his fading green streak, his air of arrogance, his jaw set hard against his feelings. He’s sure he's not doing it justice in his mind; Joel has this quality to him that Bdubs can’t describe. He’s almost angelic, or would be if Bdubs believed in that sort of thing.

“You got a reason?” he wonders, trying not to be aggressive. The aggression can be fun, but Bdubs doesn’t want a fight to break out in here. They’d just hurt themselves.

Something bumps him in the dark. He thinks it might be Joel’s elbow. “I’m not gay,” says Joel quietly, like he’s questioning himself. Or Bdubs is reading too much into it, that’s a possibility as well.

Bdubs suppresses the laughter that threatens to bubble in his chest. “You're not gay,” he repeats, unable to mask his disbelief. “I got news for ya, buddy, straight guys don't look at me like that.”

An affronted noise echoes in the darkness. “Look at you like what?”

“Like they want to spread me out on their bedsheets and devour me like a three-course meal,” Bdubs answers, amused. If he’s honest, it never once occurred to him that Joel didn’t know what he was doing. That he didn’t realize their whole game was one long act of foreplay.

Joel’s quiet. Quieter than Bdubs might have ever heard him, quiet enough that Bdubs can hear his breathing. Can feel it on his collarbone. They’re so close. My, this closet’s warm.

Bdubs entertains the idea of apologizing, but he can’t wrap his tongue around the words. They taste like bitter medicine. He went too far, but he can’t bring himself to regret it.

“I’m not gay,” Joel says again, more hesitantly this time.

Bdubs closes his eyes. He’s not equipped to be a baby gay’s awakening. He shouldn’t have put himself in this situation. “Okay,” he manages. “Then keep being not gay. Honestly, it doesn't affect me much either way.” (He tries to will that to be true.) “I’ll still be gay when you change your mind.”

He lifts his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and feels the back of his knuckles graze Joel’s cheekbones. He can feel what he looks like. He's stupid hot. Someday Bdubs is going to rearrange his pretty face.

(He says that, but deep down, he knows that he’d be far too sad if Joel stopped looking this good.)

“Don’t touch me,” Joel mutters. Bdubs sighs through his nose.

“Didn't do it on purpose. What are you gonna do about it if you're too much of a coward to kiss me?”

Joel growls. “I’m not a coward.”

Bdubs leans into his space. “Prove it.”

The door swings open. Seven minutes already?

Bdubs straightens himself out. “Alright then. I’ll be around if you ever want that kiss.”

As he’s driving home, he realizes he forgot to ask what prompted Joel to participate in Spin the Bottle in the first place if he didn't want to kiss a guy.

The sky is long dark when the knock comes. Bdubs is just preparing for bed, and it startles him a bit. At least he’s not already asleep, because he would not answer even if it woke him up.

He opens the door and is greeted by Joel, shifting nervously on his front step. Immediately, he’s hit with the thought that he was right; he can’t imagine Joel properly. His mind could never capture all the wholeness and reality of him.

“Were you serious?” Joel asks. “When you said…” He trails off, and Bdubs fills in for him.

“That you could kiss me if you wanted to try?”

Wordlessly, Joel nods.

“Yeah, Joel. I was serious.”

Joel takes a step forward. Bdubs’ breath quickens. Is it really going to happen?

Joel reaches out awkwardly, then hesitates, like he doesn’t know where to put his hands. Bdubs laughs patiently, taking his hands and pulling him inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

He grabs Joel’s wrists and sets his hands on Bdubs’ waist. His hands rest on Joel’s jaw, and he grins at him. “Gonna back out on me now?”

Joel licks his lips—a nervous tic, surely— and shakes his head. “Never.”

“Good.”

booty jorts — I’m on my way I’m just merging onto I five right now will you fucking get out of my way you Cybertruck moron I hope your car blows up with you inside anyway I have ice cream and a movie let me know if you need anything else send I said send will you please

Jayla manages a wet laugh. (She’s not crying. She doesn’t cry.) Beth always uses voice-to-text when she’s driving, which never picks up on punctuation. Jayla can read the interjection in the middle, directed at some nameless Cybertruck owner, in her voice. She was probably yelling it. She always had terrible road rage.

Let me know if you need anything else, she’d said. It’s a long shot, but there is one thing that might help.

With shaking hands, Jayla presses the little call button next to Beth’s name. Beth answers midway through the second ring.

“—sus fucking Christ, are you people insane?” she’s yelling through the phone. “Sorry Jayjay, I’m here. No one knows how to drive today. You need anything?”

Jayla swallows hard. “Hair dye?” she croaks. “Just thought– nevermind, it was a dumb thought anyway. Ignore me, it’s fine.”

“Nah, what’s up? Hair dye, you said? I’ve got some green in my bathroom somewhere. Might not be enough to do your whole head, you’ve got a lot of hair, but I could give ya a streak!”

That’s her Beth. Or– not her Beth, like, they’re not like, an item or anything, and Beth doesn’t belong to Jay, she’s just– whatever. Point is, Beth’s always figuring out a way to put a positive spin on things. Except when it comes to Etho.

Jay sighs. “Yeah, sure. A streak sounds great.”

She can hear Beth’s smile through the crackle of static; Beth must be going through the rough part of the Corridor where the service is spotty. “Alright, see you soon! I just gotta stop at home and then I’ll be on my way. Love ya to death!”

Beth hangs up before Jay can respond. Probably for the best; she never knows what to say when Beth tells her that. She never knows how to answer without betraying the emotion that quivers in her chest, viscous and sweet like molasses and so, so raw where it intersects with the knowledge that no one, not even her best friend Beth, will ever love her as the woman she so desperately wants to be.

She tries not to work herself up into a fit before Beth arrives. Beth likes to see her fits. Jokes aside, she doesn’t want to ruin their evening together by being a bit of a mess. She’s not sure exactly how successful she is, though, because by the time she hears tyres on the driveway, her eyes feel hot and pricking with tears. She stares at her reflection in the mirror for one more moment, as if memorizing everything that’s wrong with her face, before she turns to let Beth into the house.

Beth knows something’s wrong immediately. Jay can tell she does, because she stares at her just a few seconds longer than she normally would. It’s long enough that Jay considers putting on her sunglasses, even though that’s ridiculous. They’re inside, and they would get in the way of the hair dyeing. (She assumes. She doesn’t actually know much about it.)

But then Beth shoulders her bag and starts to make her way into the bathroom. Jayla stares after until she turns back around. “Are ya coming?” she demands, and Jay nods, jumping into action to scramble after her.

Beth sets down the bag on the floor and seats Jay on the toilet lid. “You gotta chill,” she says casually. “I’m good at this, but not good enough to not stain your clothes if you’re jerkin’ your head around. Got it?”

Jay looks up at her. She’s not tall by any means, but seated like this, her tits are right in Jayla’s face, and… oh, god. She can’t let that thought go off. She can’t open the door of what if because she’ll just be setting herself up for disappointment. She’s been zip tying that door shut, barring it with chairs and boxes made of denial because if she lets that train leave the station, it’ll hit terminal velocity in minutes and she’ll be off the rails. And now she’s mixing her metaphors, because proximity to boobs kind of does that to her brain.

Beth’s fingers twist in Jay’s hair and tip her head back. “Got it?” she repeats, and Jay realizes she hasn’t answered. Though honestly, the hair pulling isn’t really helping.

Jay swallows. “Uh– er– yes. Mhm.”

Beth releases her, then takes a step back, looking down at her. “How attached are you to that shirt?”

Jay glances down at it. It’s not her favourite, but it’s not technically hers. “It’s my mum’s,” she manages. “She’d probably be mad if she didn’t get it back.”

Beth nods. “Cool. Take it off.”

Handbrakes squeal in Jay’s head. “Wait– you want me to do what?”

Beth puts her hands on her hips and Jayla tries to tell herself not to get distracted again. (It’s just that Beth is so pretty, stout and a little chubby, endearing and sweet and perfectly shaped, and Jay l—)

“Take your frickin’ shirt off!” Beth repeats, clearly irritated. “I thought you wanted to dye your hair. Is every single step of this gonna be a fight?”

Chastened, Jay ducks her head. “Sorry, B,” she mumbles, lifting her hands to unbutton the top and shrug it off, leaving her in just her trousers and bra. She can’t meet Beth’s eyes as she does, but Beth says nothing, just starting to part her hair and comb through it.

“Alright– jeeze, could you frickin’ stay still?” Beth requests as Jay lifts her head. Instinctually, Jay freezes and Beth sighs. “Thank you.”

They lapse into mildly uncomfortable silence as Beth starts to squeeze some kind of cool gel into her freshly gloved hand and spread it onto Jay’s hair with a brush. Jay tries not to fidget. Beth asked her to keep still.

Her mind drifts, inevitably, to Beth. Beth cares about her. Beth is her friend. But that doesn’t mean Beth wants the same things that Jayla wants, that she feels the same things. That is, if she even recognizes Jayla as a woman.

Jay should ask. She should say something. But every time she tries, the words stick in her throat. Every part of this is so hard. She just wants one thing to be easy and achievable.

In the end, it’s Beth who asks.

“So, you gonna tell me what you were cryin’ about?”

If it were Etho, or Jamie, or god forbid Scott, Jay would think they were making fun of her. But with Beth it’s just… she noticed. And she didn’t say anything earlier because she didn’t think it was the right time.

The tears make a reappearance, but Jay feels a little more secure this time. “Just… gender stuff. Not a big deal.”

Beth puts a clip in her hair and steps back to meet her eyes. “It’s a big deal if it makes you cry.”

Jayla wipes at her eye absentmindedly. “I just… I want to be loved.” She laughs awkwardly. How embarrassing is that? Someday she’ll surely succeed in killing the part of her that desires connection and affection. It hasn’t worked yet, but someday. “But I want to be loved as myself. I don’t want everyone to think of me as Joel forever, as a boy cosplaying a girl, as a pervert in womanface. I want to be one of the girls.”

The tears flow freely now, and Jay sniffles, turning her face away as she finishes. She doesn’t want to see Beth’s face, whether it’s amusement or scorn or pity that graces her gorgeous features. She doesn’t want to know.

But Beth crouches to be on Jay’s level. “How ‘bout we do your nails, too?”

Jayla blinks, trying to comprehend. “We… huh?”

Beth reaches into her bag and pulls out a plastic organizer full of fake nails and a little bottle of nail glue. “Make you look all pretty.”

Jay swallows, searching her face for any sign of insincerity. “Are you sure? That’s your stuff.”

The ghost of a smile appears on Beth’s lips. “Brought it for you. C’mon.” She reaches for one of Jayla’s hands, and Jay lets her, just staring as she pulls nails out of the plastic to compare them to Jay’s fingertips until she has the ones she wants. She starts to glue them on, humming quietly to herself. Then she holds up nail polish for Jay to examine. “What color?”

Jay flexes her hand, examining her fingers, which look considerably more graceful and feminine with the fake nails. She glances at Beth’s too, which match hers and are painted in the lesbian flag colors. Jay licks her lips. “Could I do… the trans flag?”

Beth grins, and it knocks the wind out of Jay’s chest. Something comes loose inside her, the zip tie holding the door shut. It comes clean off its hinges and everything floods her all at once.

“Beth,” she whispers. Beth looks up from where she’s digging in her bag for white nail polish.

“Yeah?”

“You’re… a great friend.” It’s not what she wants to say, but it’s close enough, she guesses. The fear overpowers her in the last second and she doesn’t manage to get the words out.

Beth smiles a little sadly. “Jay, would I be doing all this if I didn’t love you? Would I offer my own supplies from home if I didn’t love you? You’re my girl as much as Etho is. You’re already loved.”

Jay bites her tongue. If she opens her mouth she’s gonna say something really dumb. She just nods, and Beth looks… almost disappointed.

“Thanks,” Jay manages without sounding like an idiot. Beth squeezes her shoulder.