Today my manager and I caught a woman shoplifting. She had make-up like Miss Piggy on crack, and a holy sweater and a Bebe hat.

She was white. let's just remember, she was white.

Anyway she came out of the dressing room with one of our sweaters on after ripping a sensor off of it, and then STAYED IN THE STORE with her sister and grandmother looking at lingere. 

We called security, and she was busted much to her own humiliation. 

Now, if I were caught in front of strangers, I'd be pretty embarrassed.

If I were caught in front of a friend...I'd be absolutely mortified. 

If I were caught in front of my parents, I probably couldn't speak to them for a long time.

If I were caught in front of my grandmother? My innocent grandmother, who had NO idea what was going on until security had to explain it to her?

I'd kill myself.