#shonsoukoku

Hiii! I return with another mini chapter about sskk, which my besto friendo @aomiya72 translated from polish to english. Unfortunately this is the last one I have finished :c

“What have I done, what have I done, and why on earth did I do it?” This was definitely worse than asking his grandmother to come to school because he had been caught smoking in the bathroom. And not just any bathroom—the girls’ bathroom, with painted nails on top of it all. According to the school regulations, the whole incident had been classified as scandalous. Akutagawa had long felt that his very existence was one big scandal. And so, with each passing day, he seemed to humiliate himself more and more—even if his actions were driven by fleeting hope.

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, for the first time in his life, was incapable of going on a date with someone. He had managed to ask Atsushi out—but picking him up was a completely different matter. Ever since early morning, he had felt it in his bones how this day might unfold. He had gotten up at five in the damn morning, on a Saturday no less, when he usually slept until ten. They were supposed to meet at noon.

He couldn’t eat breakfast. He tried waiting it out for two hours—no use. The bread roll with butter came back up after several minutes of nausea. He would have to survive the day on tea, a handful of pills, and extreme emotions. His grandmother, shocked that the kid was awake and looked like he was on the verge of agony, thankfully went out to do the shopping and didn’t force him to eat any more.

His hands trembled more violently than usual. Choosing the right outfit took him a full hour—he couldn’t decide what was appropriate and what wasn’t. He left the house far earlier than he would have for any ordinary, low-stakes meeting, knowing full well he would end up standing by the gate or the door for at least fifteen minutes, unable to gather the courage to ring the bell.

And that was exactly what Akutagawa was trying to do—scrape together the last remnants of his courage. He decided that covering his face with his hands and mumbling under his breath might help. Coward. More than ever before. The lack of control over his own body and emotions filled him with both frustration and shame. The only thing keeping the last shreds of his sanity intact was the thought that being late to pick up Atsushi would be unforgivably rude. Besides, they still had to catch a train to the neighboring city. He couldn’t afford to waste too much time.

Suddenly, the door opened.

Akutagawa no longer knew which version of events would be more awkward—Atsushi answering the door, or his mother, who had just stepped right into his path. He bowed immediately.

“Good morning, I—I don’t mean to intrude. I’m here to see Atsushi,” he muttered, averting his gaze from the woman, who looked surprisingly young for a mother. She probably has no idea that I kissed her son a few days ago. I wonder if she’d still be smiling like that if she did.

“Ah, Akutagawa, right?” He felt intimidated by her positive aura, her youthful appearance, her natural charm. He had never even seen Atsushi’s father, yet he already knew where Nakajima got his pretty face and that warm, magnetic presence.

“Yes… It’s nice to meet you.”

“Please, come in. I’d invite you to stay while you wait for Sushi, but I’m in a bit of a hurry.” She paused, narrowing her eyes in thought, then caught Akutagawa by the arm. “Could you remind him to lock the house and leave the keys where he always does? Oh—and I almost forgot! Before you leave, tell him to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner. And of course, if you’d like, you’re welcome to join us. My husband and I would be happy to finally meet one of Atsushi’s friends. I was very worried about him after he changed schools, so I’m really glad he’s managed to get along with someone.”

Akutagawa flushed, thoroughly embarrassed. He had been unceremoniously pulled into the rhythm of Atsushi’s household. They barely knew each other, he was meeting his mother for the first time, and already he was responsible for making sure Nakajima remembered his chores.

When the woman left, Akutagawa stepped inside hesitantly. He closed the door quietly and leaned against it, breathing heavily. Now comes the final boss.

But what was he supposed to do? Start shouting for Atsushi to hurry up? He couldn’t even bring himself to speak.

“Mom! What time are you coming back?!” The shout—accompanied by noises from the floor above—instantly eased some of Akutagawa’s tension and even coaxed a faint smile from him. He headed toward the sounds of movement. He was still nervous, but now that he had heard Atsushi, he wanted to see him.

Atsushi clearly heard someone step into the kitchen doorway but didn’t turn around, convinced his mother was still at home. Akutagawa, meanwhile, leaned against the doorframe and let his gaze roam over the boy from head to toe. When he heard the clatter of a metal spoon hitting the tiles, he had already resigned himself to the idea that they would have to take a later train than planned.

“Mom, can we invite Akutagawa over for dinner?”

Silence.

Atsushi froze, confused by the lack of response. He turned around—and dropped the spoon again when he saw Akutagawa standing where he had expected to see his mother.

Akutagawa was still gnawed at by stress, but he couldn’t suppress the intrusive, almost satisfied look on his face. It wasn’t only him who had been thrown off balance, surprised, and flustered that day. Atsushi’s face quickly bloomed with a blush, paired with a silly, awkward smile.

“Your mom already suggested it herself when she was leaving,” Akutagawa said.

“H-Hi… Sorry, I know I’m late…”

“Is it really that important?” Akutagawa stepped closer, picked up the dropped spoon, and placed it in the sink.

“I didn’t expect you…”

Their first direct look—filled with shyness and fragments of memories from a few days ago. Akutagawa felt embarrassed when he noticed Atsushi staring at him as if he were a painting. In his mind, the only beautiful picture there was Atsushi himself.

“I didn’t expect this either…” He swallowed hard when his gaze accidentally flicked to Atsushi’s lips. He looked away. He had no right to even think about that.

Ryuunosuke had planned to greet him properly. For several nights, he had played out different versions of this meeting in his head. Not a single one had worked. He had to improvise—and he couldn’t. The confident smile from his imagination shattered, leaving behind only nerves and a cold facade. He desperately didn’t want to come across as rude. He was afraid Atsushi might think he felt nothing, that he was distant.

“Can I…?”

“Hm?”

“Could I hug you?” The feeling after asking was worse than waiting for Atsushi’s answer to the date invitation. It felt like no matter what he did, it would be awkward and strange. After a moment, he heard:

“Sure.”

Maybe it would have been better if Atsushi had said no.

“Are you okay?” Atsushi asked when Akutagawa didn’t move after getting permission, only staring blankly at the wall behind him.

“Yes—sorry, I…” His words cut off with a sigh when Nakajima pulled him into a firm embrace. At first, he stood stiffly with his arms hanging uselessly at his sides. Only after a moment did he raise one hand, threading it into Atsushi’s light hair, while the other settled on his back, drawing the boy as close as possible. He rested his chin atop Atsushi’s head and closed his eyes, savoring the blissful sensation that slowly replaced the tension gripping every muscle in his body.

Atsushi was warm. Gentle. And on top of that, he smelled wonderful. He also seemed just as blissed out, melting into Akutagawa’s arms.

A quick kiss to the forehead—barely a brush, the lightest touch of lips. Then, nervously, Akutagawa clenched his fingers in the fabric of Atsushi’s clothes and abruptly pushed him away, much to the younger boy’s displeasure.