Camp Runaway (Chapter One)
1//
Death is imminent. And it happens to everyone when we least expect it. You're supposed to outlive your parents I understand that but they aren't supposed to be taken from you so suddenly, so quickly. And in a way you can't explain without wanting to bang your head against the wall. The police told my sister and I it was a car accident. Some man was driving on the wrong side and my parents veered off and hit a tree. They said somehow my mom's lower half of her body was thrown out the windshield and my dad stayed in his seat clutching at my mother's hands.
My sister also tells me I'm really morbid and need to stop explaining that part to people. But I don't really see what the problem is. It wouldn't stop them from being gone.
I sat on the bench outside our house, stomping my feet against the wooden panels. There was another one of those gatherings going on inside again. My parents' death happened exactly six months and one weeks ago and my sister insisted on having family and friends come over at least once a week. They all liked touching a lot. And kissing my forehead. And saying things like "You're so strong. Your parents would have been really proud of you."
It wasn't like I was trying not to be a sobbing mess around everyone. My sister took care of enough crying and wailing for both of us. I had cried to myself in a much more private, personal way.
By the lake.
I looked back through the window of our house and tried to see if my sister was looking. She doesn't like me going to the lake by myself at night and I couldn't blame her. But I needed this visit more than she can imagine.
I flipped my wrist to look at my watch. 11:55. It would take me exactly five minutes on my bike to get to the lake in time. I gave the window one last glance before jumping from my seat and grabbing my red bike from the bottom of the stairs. It always takes me a few seconds to get used to balancing myself on the bike but once I do, I'm off in a flash.
I remember riding my bike down the hill of my street. The breeze, the sun, the feeling of complete and utter bliss was indescribable. I was on the edge of my first taste of sadness because I knew I would never be in a moment, at this time in my life, ever again.
God, I really really needed to get to the lake.
I reached the lake in minutes to spare and leaned my bike on a nearby oak tree. The air around was warm but the breeze made everything slightly chilly. It was still summer anyway, the temperature wasn't ready for fall quite yet.
I sat on my favorite spot, a toss between smooth rocks and sand, and took in a deep breath.
Finally.
I looked down at my clock on my phone it was exactly midnight so she should be coming soon.
Every Friday since my parents death I've been in this spot and right across the lake in one of the biggest cabin type homes there was a girl (well a person I just assumed it was a girl) who would sit on the sand and occasionally flash her light in my direction. We probably both needed to know that each other were there and listening even though we were far enough away where we wouldn't hear anything at all. It was comforting to have someone be there for you and know all the right things to not say.
Right on time, I saw a dark figure emerge from the cabin and sit right on the sand. She gave a tiny wave and I returned it.
"I'm so glad you're here." I exhaled.
In response she flashed her light at me. In response to that, I smiled.
"It's been tough these past few weeks. I've been crying less which is great and all but I still haven't spoken to any of my friends. They haven't really spoken to me either but I can't blame them. I'm not as happy to be around as I used to be. I wouldn't want to be around me either."
The metallic colored moon shimmered across the water and I sighed. "I can't help feeling like there is something better out there ya know? Somewhere that doesn't involve so much pain and constant reminders of your past. Not just..." It wasn't just about my parents death it was something that stretched farther than that. I felt off and shut down way before they left my sister and I. It was a silent timer and these past few months have only made it worse.
"My best friends Mindy and Alex are much happier without me anyway. They only look sad when they see me in the hallway. But it's summer now and hopefully I can spend my time traveling or reading more books. Not that I need to add to my bookshelf its already tipping over." I shook my head and laughed humorlessly. My mother would always wondered how I could fit so many stories in my head. I would always tell her that it was because each book gave me a different feeling for any occasion so I could read a different book twice, maybe three times a day and still crave more.
"I hate them for leaving me." I whispered. I looked up and saw her nodding her head. I know she couldn't hear me but it was still comforting. "And they left me with my sister no less. She's been so overbearing lately its ridiculous. I thought she was bossy when we were kids but now... now it feels like she's been given this golden opportunity to control my life. It sucks."
Ava had a habit of asking questions that would normally be asked by a parent. For the first few weeks it was understandable and even welcomed but two months in it was infuriating to be told what to do by someone who is only three years older. She complains that I don't do anything useful and that I'm always away from the house.
I'm away because I have to get away or I'll scream.
"Man I bet you don't have to deal with any siblings. I bet you are an only child who is super popular and have these two crime fighting parents that kiss you every night even when you tell them how lame it is. And I bet you could care less about a seventeen year old girl spilling her soul out to you at midnight by the lake." I shook my head. I am ridiculous.
"Thank you regardless. Thank you for being here with me."
I couldn't tell for sure but from the distance it looked like she smiled.
"And where the hell have you been?"
Home sweet home amiright?
"I went out. I'm back and safe, what's the big deal?"
"The big deal is you left without telling me where you were going and it's way past midnight no less." Ava had her hands on her hips and everything. If I told her she would be pulling a move like this years ago she would have laughed in my face.
"Ava I just went by the lake because I needed a break. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"Oh so you were at the exact place I told you I didn't want you to go." She threw her hands in up in frustration. "What on earth is with you lately? You've been going to this lake for months now and you are as vague as possible when I question why. Why is it so difficult to confide in me? I'm your sister and I care about you." Oh god. This part was worst than the crying.
Ava was so emotional and so dramatic she would fit perfectly on a soap opera. I knew she cared about me but she didn't need to expect me to spill out my emotions to her. I have to speak to a complete stranger--who can't even hear me--to feel better for god sakes.
"Oh no don't use the sister card on me." I started to head up the steps before she called out my name. I stopped mid-step and turned around. "What?"
Ava stared at me for what felt like a long time. "You know mom and dad would be so disappointed in you for sneaking out like this."
Instead of crying like my eyes so desperately wanted to I gave her a sweet smile. "That's my only goal in life. To disappoint you and my dead parents." And with that I walked up the stairs with my head held high. Not because of pride but because that was the only way the tears didn't slip down my cheek.
I already desperately wanted to go back to the lake but I knew I had to contain myself until tomorrow night. I could do that couldn't I?
