#shnooks

These are shnooks.

They are little hair creature guys. They came with a little comb and hair clips si you can style their hair. They come in two sizes, normal and big. Normal sized (pic 3) you could fully hold with two hands, the big shnooks (pic 1 and 2) are like the size of a big pumpkin.

My best friend sent me a picture of this mf today

And you need to know that I was OBSESSED with them when I was like, uhhh 7. And I loved to read about all the different characters and read Jess' story of finding a friend. The problem is that their website doesn't exist anymore and wayback machine did not help, trust me I tried (a lot).

14th of July, 2024

Current progress:

Hygiene - Brushed my teeth and took care of my piercing.

Physical activity - Nothing today.

Eating - A bit today. Some mince wraps, some smoked salmon a cookie and a piece of brownie, some maccas Fiends girlfriend bought into my work on her way home from the gym.

Sleep - 5hrs today.

Selfcare - Spent some time sitting at the back door, in the sun and had a call with my grandmother.

Thoughts - Today was a bit of a lower day. Just felt like meds weren’t helping as much today and when my mind isn’t stimulated it really struggles to stay positive or even neutral. I wouldn’t say it was ‘bad’ just a bit lower.

Academic growth - None today.

Overall mood - Uhhh as stated above I was a bit off and low but I wasn’t in a ‘bad’ mood. Had a few laughs and a decent bit of lows. Which helped me distract my mind for a good portion of the day too.

Yo!

Today was a bit of a chill day. Spent the day at home watching things and playing some games with Fiend. I met Conman’s current fling when he brought her home after being out of town last night. Had a call with my grandmother, which was lovely. Never really get to have catch-ups with her and one of her sons ended up having brain surgery the other day. Now I’m at work. Not too long ago Fiends girlfriend came over to work to drop off some food for me so we sat, eat and caught up. Now I’m just chilling out and watching Game of Thrones.

Tomorrow I have been a dad for a full decade! That’s such a crazy concept to me! I remember the day that boy was born, spending the whole night awake, holding and looking at him, walking up and down the hospital halls while his mother slept. Today he’s a nerdy nine year old like his dad was, with a love for anime and trading cards. I’m so proud of him, how much he’s grown and the beautiful, kind and caring soul that he is today. And tomorrow he’ll be ten. Double digits! Can’t wait to see him grow even more!

It’s also been two months today since Shnooks and I broke up so it’s going to be an odd day for me for the rest of the day.

Updates over the last month:

I got a tongue piercing, so that’s cool. I lost about 15kgs/33lb due to not eating much and walking a lot though my eating has gotten much better recently. I’ve started therapy, I had my first session on the 9th and have my second on the 17th. I’ve been learning from Conman how to carve stones so I made a necklace.

Saturday, 13th of July, 2024

Current progress:

Hygiene - Shower late last night on shift.

Physical activity - Walked 17,000+ steps so about 14.2km/8.8mi.

Eating - Uhhh not too bad. Had about 4 small mince wraps before I left, some cookies and a piece of brownie.

Sleep - About 5hrs. I’ve either been sleeping either too much or too little.

Selfcare - Downtime on video calls with Not_AI and Witch. Had about 1.5hr long calls with each of them. The walk out and about this morning was good and long and helped me expend energy while in a manic state.

Thoughts - My mania kinda made my mind hyperactive so I was kinda unable to focus on anything in the morning. The afternoon was on and off thinking about shnooks and not being able to focus.

Academic growth - None yet.

Overall mood - Ehh, bit up and down. My mania helped me stay out of my head for a good, long while. My catch ups with Witch and Not_AI were both really lovely too. Really enjoy talking to both of them.

Soooooo… Hi…

It’s been a minute. Sorry about that.

I’ve been a bit up and down with everything lately so I’ll try to catch everyone up a bit.

Where have I been? What have I been up to?

I haven’t really been doing much to be honest. Been working and dad-ing and big brother-ing. I’ve been a bit slack on my normal checklist and housework.

How have I been going?

Better I guess. I’ve been laughing and smiling more, enjoying life a little bit. But it’s an odd sensation. I know it’s all due to my anti-depressants being upped and kicking in and not my mental actually properly improving. I will be sitting and laughing with my friends and then will remember something about Shnooks or someone will trigger my memory of her and I’ll kinda spiral out a bit. But I’ve been able to eat more and yeah. Been smoking cigarettes a lot more though…

Anything new happen or notable progress?

Ummmmm not too much really. But I’ve been getting on top of getting through the days in better moods on average now. Oh! And I had my first session of therapy earlier on in the week. Pretty introductory for the first session in and didn’t dive in deep to anything.

That’s kinda all I have to catch up on today as I’m a bit tired and this was more of a catch up than a normal, scheduled post but I’ll try get back into that again.

Monday, 10th of June, 2024

Current progress:

Hygiene - Brushed my teeth.

Physical activity - Nothing today.

Eating - A combo from maccas.

Sleep - Split sleep about 3hrs each.

Selfcare - Not much today. Caught up with a couple of the boys online.

Thoughts - Uhhh been a bit away, thinking about Shnooks.

Academic growth - Nothing today.

Overall mood - Eh, a bit down. My heads been away. It was a slow day and I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything.

Uhhh not too much to report on today as it was a slow day.

Just waited to get paid, paid off some bills, put money away for things that I want this week (tongue piercing and haircut) and bought a couple games to play. Other than that rest of the day I was just kinda trying to survive.

Oh! I caught up with one of my old mates from overseas over text today which was really nice. I don’t hear from him much and we used to be really tight when we were younger.

I gotta do a bit of cleaning tomorrow ‘cause one of my workmates is moving in. He’s really cool and it’ll be a nice change to my emotional state, loneliness and financial state. But I also have my haircut with Greeny too which will be nice.

Been thinking about shnooks a lot today… I’m tired and I miss her.

Looking at my right arm it’s just full of memories, from my tattoo of a loved one that passed way and the ring and bracelet from shnooks.

Wednesday, 7th of June, 2024

Current progress:

Hygiene - Brushed my teeth once and had a shower.

Physical activity - Moved around the house a lot cleaning.

Eating - Had some mushroom soup.

Sleep - 5hrs I think?

Selfcare - Cleaning the house more made me feel nicer about myself.

Thoughts - This’ll be what I thought about throughout the day. Today I’ve just been thinking about tattoos, tongue piercings and Shnooks the whole day.

Academic growth - None.

Overall mood - Eh, a bit up and down today. Been thinking a lot and kinda accepting everything while still being really sad. Talking to Witch has helped me a lot just by talking and knowing I’m not the only person going through stuff. We pick each other up and it’s nice.

Hey, sorry again for the delayed posts. Been a bit out-of-it lately.

Over the last few days - Been going to the doctors weekly, taking my meds. Organised a haircut and a tongue piercing to make me feel better about my appearance. Made a checklist for me to do daily to get me into good habits.

Stayed up late last night, playing Hearthstone with Fiend so I slept in a bit. He can genuinely make me laugh, even if it’s fleeting. I miss that motherfucker.

When I woke up I watched a bunch of How I Met Your Mother (my other comfort show) and talked to Witch about their day and how they’re going. They’ve been really thoughtful in consistently catching up with me and making sure I’m okay.

One of my workmates confirmed today that he wants to move in so I spent the remainder of the day cleaning out Nuggs room and moving his stuff all upstairs to my room so my workmate could move into Nuggs - now - old room.

After that I headed into work, which has been quiet as the only kid we have left doesn’t talk much. I jumped on Hearthstone with Fiend while in Discord with him and Lost and then watched How I Met Your Mother when they went to bed.