So what can I do? I really beg you, my Lord To me, flirtin' is just like a sport

bonus (insp)

SHIV ROY

haha! Ok credit has to go for @prettyaveragewhiteshark for turning me into a lesbian Shiv truther (it was a short conversation. I didn't require much convincing. but still. Credit where it's due).

The backstory I have in my head as I'm writing it is this: Basically I think they were friends who met during grad school, and became really close - despite planning to go into different fields. I think they spent a lot of time discussing how they were going to use their skills and connections to make the world a better place, and had all these idealistic grandiose plans the way you do in your mid-twenties.

I think the friendship was very intimate, breaking down each others walls, and all that. And Shiv did the whole comphet "female friendships are just really intense" thing while Lisa was thinking "we'll probably end up dating soon and get married and be a power couple."

I think they hooked up exactly once when they were both early in their respective careers, but I don't think they had sex. I think they kissed for like an hour and it was such an emotionally charged experience for Shiv that she was like "nope. nope. nope. nope. nope." and pretended like it was no big deal and tried to go back to their normal friendship after. But it was forced and strained and they were never the same again.

I think this is when she had a bit of a crisis, and she met Tom shortly thereafter. And with Tom the sex was good enough that she was like "see? Ok! Obviously I'm straight." even if she never had the self reflection skills to put that reassurance into words. Like, I don't think she ever consciously thought about her own sexuality. It was never a question because it couldn't be.

The current vibe as I see it is that they both think the other is being immature, but Lisa is the one that's correct haha. Lisa having looong gotten over the rejection, and no longer hurt coming down on the slightly pitying "ok. This is clearly a you problem. I'm going to go ahead and let you figure that out."

Meanwhile, Shiv never quite got over the decay of their friendship and is now like "wow. can't even let go of a meaningless makeout sesh ok. 🙄 (pain. pain. pain. pain. pain.)"

In my fic, Lisa is happily married with a kid, so the Shiv door is well and truly closed for her. But since Shiv never looked her feelings in the face (when has she ever?) she's still suffering from those feelings.