#shitxpost

killua overshares about basically everything in his life except for his relationship with gon. for that he just says it and doesn’t elaborate, because people don’t need to know details, don’t be so nosy. he’s embarrassed. “gon’s my best friend.” then he tells a group of strangers how he stabbed his mom and ran away from home when he was eleven.

gon already caught his prey and the goal that began the series has ended. he’s no longer hunting ging, and in fact currently is hunting nothing. according to the yet-to-be-reformed hunter tenants, a hunter must hunt something, or else they are not a hunter. so if gon isn’t hunting anything and gon is not a hunter…

killua zoldyck is in this box

but i also think about gon knowing this too, that every time he meets with killua just the way he looks is sometimes a stark reminder. he doesn’t remember it the way killua does, because all of him wasn’t really there. killua was there. only part of gon was. that’s not to say he remembers nothing. just that a filter of pain, of twisted emotions, makes the memories unclear.

and i think about them talking about it, after years, finally baring their emotions without hiding anything. not being ashamed to cry. gon asking if it’s hard for killua to look at him. and sometimes it is. but killua says, and really believes, that it’s okay. 

because this gon is different from the gon who he faced back then. it’s okay. they’re not the same, and all killua has to do is really look at him to see that. even if sometimes he remembers that awful part of their shared past... if he just looks at gon and truly sees him, it doesn’t hurt anymore.