#shitty tip

I work as a server as my side job.  It sucks sometimes.  But I make good money.  Its a fancy steakhouse, well steaks, burgers and fries.  But we have to act fancy.  Which is actually nice because I don't have to serve shots, shooters, sliders, pińa coladas...you get it.  Despite the heightened service and dark interior, we still manage to get some assholes who don't know where they are.  Tonight I had a table that immediately didn't like me.  One of those times you can just tell.  You're being friendly, in the elevated, slightly removed way you were taught to be, and they hate you for it.  They wanted me to pander.  They wanted to feel big.  They refused to order.  Every time I came by the table there was a thinly veiled look of resentment in their eyes.  Its fine, they probably don't go out much. They looked worn down, old for their 40 odd years.  They talked too loud and drank their vodka sodas too fast.  They just couldn't be bothered to talk to me.  It's fine, its not about me, or how they feel about me personally.  I'll give them some space. 

Cut to fifteen minutes later and they're still "deciding".  I hate that.  You know what you want.  And pardon me for assuming you came to this restaurant to eat food.  So they finally order.  The food comes and its great but they don't like the fact that I check in.  I don't hover, I confirm its good and leave.  They still hate it.  I only come by to offer another drink when one is low or clear a plate when its empty.  I'm silent and don't make eye contact.  I still feel their eyes on me. This job involves the worst aspects of performing sometimes.

Anyway, they tipped me 15%.  That's really shitty.  Not surprising though.  They're shitty people.  I had a feeling they would tip me shit when they were collaborating on splitting the bill and one woman laughed and said, "oh that's so awful!" as she watched the man sign his name.  Keep your money, and go to Applebee's next time.

Later I was in the bathroom, in a stall, and I heard some familiar voices enter.  "She needs to get a clue, you don't just put down the check like that", "She could have offered us some drinks or something, you know some shots? You know, made more money for herself"  "Yeah its her fault, she's an idiot".  My stomach filled with bile.  It felt like high school again.  In that flash of a moment I felt as small as I did then and as righteously big as a house.  I wanted to hide, I wanted to burst through the door and curse them.  I wanted to take a shit on command and make them have to smell it.  Instead I opened the door and stepped silently into view.  I stared into their eyes with a knowing smile as I glided past them and began washing my hands while watching their faces drop in the mirror.  It was like high school again.  They giggled.  They fucking giggled and pushed each other out the door.  They did not wash their hands.  I was shaking.  If I had won by taking the high road why did I feel so humiliated?  So worthless.  Just an idiot server.

When you've decided what cosplay you want to do, always take inventory, or make a list of things you think you'd need to make the parts. This way you've broken down the costume and it's not so overwhelming.