#shittersfull

I am sorry I haven’t had time to update.  I have been busy breaking the toilet in our condo every day.  No one will believe me but I swear I haven’t done anything “break worthy” in the bathroom here. 

The battle between me and toilets has been going on since I was a little Cruiser.  My parents will tell you it’s because I eat too much cheese.  I say it’s bad luck.  I think the worst issue was when I was about 12....those of you who knew me at that age are probably picturing this: curly hair no one taught me how to style, a child like spirit dressed in women's clothing because juniors sizing never fit my “big boned” adolescent body, and a fudge brownie wrapper or two shoved in my pocket.  Anyways, this particular time I had a little issue with the toilet but didn’t notice so I proceeded to take a nice long bath.  Probably used some Juniper Breeze (90′s kids where you at?) bubble bath and relaxed and thought about whether I would ever actually meet Keanu Reeves or Jared Leto.  Keanu from Speed not the Matrix and Jared aka Jordan Cataloano.  At any rate, my relaxing bath was soon interrupted - it turns out the water from my “oops” was leaking into the basement.  When I say leaking...I mean pouring down the walls. This wasn’t the kind of thing you could just throw a few towels down and fix.  Pretty sure new flooring and drop ceilings were needed.  Sorry Mom and Dad.  

That was probably the most expensive issue I created - but not the most embarrassing.  My girls trip to DR where the maintenance man shamed me about abuse of toilet paper was also pretty bad.  Luckily the entire lecture was in Spanish and I only understood a few words.  But I knew by the way he looked at me it was bad.  He used pretty powerful gestures too.  

So now, here we are in a beautiful condo in Cabo and the master toilet is not working.  The issue started Sunday right after we checked in. I swear I did not do anything damaging in that bathroom.  Naturally, Alex doesn’t believe me.  There is a plunger but it doesn’t work...and yes I know how to use a plunger.  Alex made a Wal Mart run and said he would grab another plunger.  Apparently there are only 2 kinds of plungers in this area.  The faulty plunger we already had and the toy like plunger Alex purchased on Monday.  It is like a plunger for a doll house.  Literally I did not know they made plungers so small.  I would post a photo but that seems gross.  Anyways, we couldn’t resolve the issue so I had to email the host on Tuesday.  They immediately sent someone out.  The nice man came in with a slightly stronger looking plunger, I heard some splashing, he grabbed a mop, then he was gone. 

When I went to use the restroom.  The toilet would still not flush.  We were duped.  Ok, fine.  There are 2.5 bathrooms here.  I will use one of the other toilets.  

Then we notice the water pressure in the condo is really low....like trickling.  Now I am even more confident that I could not have caused this problem!  Surely, I am not responsible for a clog that would impact the plumbing in the entire condo!  That’s some real Lou Ferrigno stuff.  I email the hosts again, assuring them that we are not “those American guests” but that we were still having issues.  They send another man out.  He goes on the roof and does something.  (That's a first for me!  The roof! Further proof this was not my fault.) He tinkers around in the bathroom a bit then he shows Alex the toilet is flushing.  Everything seems good.  Until this morning.  I thought it was safe.  I thought it was fixed.  I wasn’t.