#shitsofgifs

not if i keel u first &89&8(&^ :))))

going

to

kill

a presentation on the animals of zimbabwe by annamaria's friends cc, catie, and ayan:

Buffalos make great burgers. Or fur coats. That’s pretty much all their good for, except for scaring off small children as they’re the fucking ugliest animal I’ve ever seen ( besides the principal from Recess. I’m still trying to recover from that.) Unlike humans, female buffalos are called cows, which might explain the Unimpressed Mikayla face they always have.

African buffalos may be ugly as fuck, but they have pretty fetch hair. It reminds me of Squilliam Fancyson’s eyebrows. This unique pattern defends them against assholes such as lions. On the male buffalos, they have a helmet type thing in the middle I think idk.

The Greater Flamingo or, if you’re feeling like a show off, the Phoenicopterus roseus, is the most widespread variety of these obnoxiously pink birds. Meaning you could be anywhere in like, Africa, southern Asia (coastal regions of Pakistan and India), or southern Europe (including Spain, Albania, Turkey, Greece, Cyprus, Portugal, Italy and the Camargue region of France), and these things will still probably be there. The greater flamingo is a verified diety of the bird world, and probably the most bad-a birdy thing out there.

I don’t know if flamingos ever gouge people’s eyes out, but they definitely seem punk rock enough to do it. I mean, they average at 110–150 cm (43–60 in) tall and weighing 2–4 kg (4.4–8.8 lbs). I don’t even know how heavy or tall that is, exactly, because the metric system is alien to me, but that sounds effing huge for something related to the pigeon.

What do flamingos eat, you ask? One would think that such a hardcore animal would feed upon the souls of small children. But no, they eat, like, plants and stuff like that, but I’m pretty sure they would if they wanted to.

The number one thing with flamingos is that you don’t want to make them mad. Not only are they worshipped as gods of the bird kingdom, but they can live up to sixty years in captivity, so count on them getting back at you with their sharp, potential deadly beaks.

In conclusion, flamingos are more punk rock than you.

The hippo is a massive animal. Most people know it from the children’s game, “Hungry, Hungry Hippo,” or just another animal you pass by at the zoo. But the hippo is so much more. The hippo is a magical creature full of fun facts, history, and and enormous size.

The hippo was born in West Africa, around the time of the nineteenth century. Weighing in a whopping 40 pounds, the baby hippopotamus feeds off it’s mother’s milk, but after about three weeks, it begins to feed on grass. Though the baby hippo is able to eat, it takes one year for them to stop nursing from their mother’s milk. Opposite the baby, the adult hippo can eat up to 100 to 150 pounds of grass a night. That’s about one sixth of their weight!

Hippos are really fucking old. I mean, like, the pre-dynastic Egyptians had myths and shit about them, and hippopotamus comes from ancient Greek meaning river horse. If that doesn’t distinguish oldness, idk what does.

Hippos are really cute and fat. Like the unknown new-age singer said, “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas,”. How could you not? They’re fucking cute.