#shitivesaid

Give me patience. The bravery to stand up for what I believe. The drive to keep going. The power to fight for what I want, the passion to change the world, the dreams to keep me pushing forward, and enough love to fill the ocean. Help me to remember that loves a choice. It takes time, effort, discipline, control, commitment, and dying to self. BUT, in the end the rewards out way the work by 10000000000. 

Never let me forget that I love service. Don't let me forget my passions. Help me to use them for You and to figure out where I'm headed in life...Help me not to ditch people or put them on the back burner. Hlep me not to worry so much about next year and to let you handle it.  

Be with BW God. That boys life is so messed up! It makes me so angry that the men in his life are so stupid! Help him to find himself and settle down and not get into trouble so much. Show him love like he's never seen and let that heal him in ways he could never imagine. Help him to go to the right school next year and for he and [the gf] to be who you want them to be. Don't let him get so depressed that he kills himself God. He scares me Jesus. If anything happened to him Lord I'd blame myself. Help me to be the friend he needs and please help him not to end up liking me!

Be with B. He's such an awesome person. I'm begging you to help him come back next year. Thank you so much for bringing him into my life. Help him to be having a great summer and to stay out of trouble. 

JN's been so nice lately. IDK if it's just because M has been telling him to or if he's really changing or some of both, but he's been so nice to everyone. He's never been so nice to me! I love it! Help it to be genuine. Help him to keep finding You and himself and be with him and M's friendship. IDK where it will end up, but help them to be friends in the end no matter what. Be with JW, he's so cool! Thanks for him. 

Well, well, well for once it hasn't been two months between entries! LOL ....My grandpa says, "You can be anything you want in life; but you can't be everything you want. Help me to prioritize and make sure I have time for You and myself...Be with M. Help things with JN to go well and for her to have found herself this summer. Thank you for her friendship. She's my soul mate. Don't let me forget that.   

Wow Jesus, I haven't talked to you all summer. So much and so little has happened. JN and M are talking a lot. I liked B for a week and now I haven't talked to him in like a month...D and I have become food friends. She's really cool...The other day I was getting so freaked out that everyone won't get along next year. It still scares me at times...Idk what to do with them. 

JG was like, "Let's go for a drive." We jumped in and I sped out. We drove behind city lake with the windows down and didn't say a word for the longest time. I've never driven so fast. We wandered around on all these back roads. We were happy and talking,,.then headed back to the school. I couldn't think of any more long-cuts so we sat and talked on a bench for a while. Her dad said it was time to go. I hugged her forever and told her to take care of herself. Then she left. I felt so alone. I went to M's and ate ice cream and slept. I woke up and went home. I cried the whole way. Then the next morning I woke up to these texts saying GD had been in a wreck and broken his neck. I started crying again at work. But he's okay. He broke it but he's fine. He's so lucky. I miss B and JG so bad. B and I talked for like 1 1/2 hours. I miss them so much! I still haven't been able to talk to JG. That sucks! I've never had this feeling before! I miss them! It hurts!