#shit tests

Shit talk is any potentially negative communication a woman gives you when her comfort and/or interest level is down. You will hear shit talk from a girlfriend(or ex-girlfriend) during the pre-breakup or post-breakup stages. There are many ways to handle her shit talk but in this section I will cover disarming her shit talk.

Some examples of things a woman may say that I consider to be shit talk are:

"I just need some time to figure out if this is the right relationship I for me."

"You should see other women. Don't wait around on me."

"I don't want to lead you on..."

"I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone right now. I need to get my life in order."

Shit talk like this needs to be disarmed. These examples on indicators of a really low interest level but also clues that there may be some hope. There are 4 steps to disarming a woman's shit talk and making her feel more comfort and attraction towards you again. Note: This process does not :

Agree with her. Agree by acknowledging that you understand where she is coming from. If she says something like "I need to time to see where I want to be in terms of a relationship", respond in an enthusiastic way with(but don't overdo it), "Yeah I get you. Take as much time as you need." The best way to get a woman to change her mind is to agree with her.

Reflect her shit talk back onto her. Throw it back into her face. "I need time to see where this is going to go too." This is the same the same as agreeing with her but in a way that displays some level of active disinterest. No longer are you certain and sure about her. Now she feels that you don't care  

Change the subject. Immediately after you reflect her shit talk back onto her you will change the subject. This shows her that you are authentic because you are seeking a reaction from her but instead are indifferent about the entire situation. You are communicating that you could care less one way or the other. She needs to feel that she has to work for you. Giving her an indicator of disinterest(IOD) is key but it is less effective if you are seeking a reaction from her so you must change the subject. Simply say "But this is all too serious of a conversation for me right now. I'm confused. Your confused. We obviously care enough to be out together so let's just enjoy the moment." 

Change her mood. Don't let women lead the conversation into a dark or boring place. Shit talk means she is not in the right mood. She is likely experiencing some negative emotion. Since women respond to they emotionally feel in the moment, you can't change her mind using logic and reason. You have to change her mood. You need to emit a positive and playful attitude onto her. Say something funny to start a new conversation thread. This is the most important part of the process. You need to get her laughing. Stop being so serious with her. Don't let her be too serious with you. She needs to feel comfort. If she is laughing, she is comfortable so make her laugh.

Let's break down the entire conversation which shouldn't last for more than a minute:

Her: "I don't want a relationship with anybody right now."

You: "Yeah I totally get what you're saying. I know how you feel. I'm not looking for a relationship either. I just want to have fun. I don't know if I view you as girlfriend material yet. But this is all too serious of a conversation for me right. We've already established that we are on the same page. You don't want a relationship. I don't want a relationship. We should just beat each other up and get it over with already(playfully). [New positive topic]..."

Let's breakdown the steps into more detail so that you can better understand the process:

During this step you are simply using reverse psychology on her. Women will attempt to rationalize you agreeing with her. She will think to herself "Why is he doing this? Just last week he was all over me. I wonder what's up?" She needs to 

You want to reflect her low interest level back onto her. When her interest is low it is usually because of she thinks that she can do better. IODing her will make her perceive you as a challenge. This leads to more rationalizations on her behalf. "Hold on. I thought I had him. What happened? Is there another girl? I'm curious."

Reaction seeking is a demonstration of lower value. It will not allow you to get the desired effect you are looking for which is to justify your new higher value. Changing the subject sub-communicates that you legitimately are speaking from your heart and aren't looking to get a rise out of her. It also prevents the woman from responding which renders her powerless. You first communicate that you are changing the subject because it is not fitting into your mood then you change the subject into something playful. If done right, the woman should feel powerless to communicate anymore shit talk to you. Doing so would make her have to endure more IODs from you which brings out a negative emotion. She will associate that negative emotion with her shit talk and begin to correct her behavior which will later manifest in her mood.

Always be playful with women. Love is playful and fun. Women will always have a better emotional response from you being playful and building comfort as opposed to you being too serious or argumentative which lowers comfort and destroys attraction. Instead be fun. She will associate the feeling of comfort with you so she will reach out to you when she wants to feel this way.

If a woman begins to give you shit talk again in a later interaction or in the current interaction then you simply repeat the steps above. But do this practically. You don't necessarily need to reiterate that you agree with her and feel the same but you can continue to change the subject and be playful. Communicate that you already understand where she is coming from and change the subject. Sometimes she is testing you when she throws shit talk at you to test you for congruence. She basically wants to know if you are worthy of her affection. Being unaffected by her tests will ultimately pass her tests. Passing her tests naturally causes her to feel attraction to you. She will want you more. In the pickup community we call these shit tests hence the name shit talk.

Shit talk consists of shit tests, statements that communicate a low comfort(SLC) or low interest(SLI), and other non-congruence related tests such as tests of interest. Statements that communicate a low comfort or a low interest(sometimes one in the same) should be disarmed. Shit tests need to be passed. The problem is that you never know when she is testing you. Some tests are obvious while others are subconscious. Sometimes an SLC or SLI is actually a shit test. She won't know that she is testing you. She may not be thinking she is at the moment but the outcome will have a test effect in the sense that her comfort and attraction will rise when you don't comply with her test and are unaffected by it.

It is important the know the difference from when a woman is testing to see if you truly care versus if you are worthy of her attraction. All of the examples above illustrate communications of low comfort/interest or even some kind of shit test. If a woman says something like "My future husband is going to get sex whenever he wants it. I'm going to give him backrubs all of the time, and cook for him every night..." the male mind will interpret this as "You aren't my future husband." She is much more likely trying to see if you really care. A way to pass her test(which will raise her comfort and attraction more) is with cocky and funny humor. Say "Damn! I'm going to be a lucky man then." If she is testing you she will laugh playfully. She will have some type of positive energy. You shouldn't be getting responses that seem to reveal that she was in some sense disgusted or rubbed wrong by your response. This indicates a really low interest(under 51% which means you aren't a lover figure anymore).

Overall, don't let a woman's shit talk get to you. Just think to yourself "Oh that's just her shit talk." This is the attitude that you truly need to obtain. It will help you pass all of her tests or challenge her to make her feel more attraction to you. Know that when her comfort and interest level go back up, you won't hear this shit anymore. Until then enjoy the moment. Women vote with their feet. If she is out with you, she voted for you. Shit talk will soon become a thing of the past.