#shinsaint

"I have something to tell you."

Thats precisely why the reaction Saint has to Shin "leaving" him comes out so naturally, so involuntarily, so pathetically- because what is he, in his raging fit, supposed to do when his world is leaving him.

Thats also completely understandable that Shin can't get himself to not care, even if he hates Saint. You can hate your home as much as you want- hate the cracks in your wall and the shitty paint- but you will still put the bucket under the leaking roof because you can't get yourself to stop caring.

As a person who is OLD and came of age in the 90s, I do want to talk about this show from a queer perspective. I grew up in a time when queer characters were not abundant. If they did show up in media, it was newsworthy. These characters were always support characters and seldom had love interests or explored what it was like to be queer. None of them looked like me or made me feel seen or represented. Heteronormativity was the standard, as it is today, but back then, a queer kid seldom encountered anything that made them question that heteronormativity. 

HSF, and Shin and Saint specifically, resonate with me more than most queer media I’ve consumed, and I’ve consumed a lot. The intense, obsessive love that Shin and Saint have for each other under the guise of friendship IS my story. For me, it was a wild girl named Jennifer, who I was attached to the hip with from 6th grade until our early twenties. I loved her. I was obsessed with her. I was probably in love with her, but it never occurred to me until years after we’d stopped speaking that what I felt for her was more than friendship. The heteronormative brainworms are real, and they infected me until my late 20s when I suddenly had a revelation about myself. 

Hindsight is 20/20. Suddenly, my obsession with Charlize Theron in Two Days In The Valley, Helen Hunt in Twister (1996), and Kate Winslet in Titanic made so much sense. My relationship with Jennifer was also at the forefront of my mind. Ah, I thought. That’s what that was.

HSF is a show about friendship, a show about community, a show about the ways adults fail their children, a show about class and poverty. It is also a show about unrealized queerness. The director, Fon, told that story purposefully through music, lighting, and dialogue, she told a story about two boys who can’t live without each other, but don’t have the knowledge, the vocabulary, or the self-awareness to understand what they are to each other.

In every choice Fon made, she dangled queerness without explicitly naming it. I would call it queerbaiting in any other media,  but for me, she made one other choice that I believe is purposeful and elevates this show into the queer category for me. She completely stripped the show of heteronormativity. There are no couples. None. We never see Chatjen’s parents. Any parents we do see are single - Ken’s father, Shin’s mother, Saint’s father, Cable’s mother.

In any other media, the male and female homeroom teachers with clashing teaching styles would  be an enemies-to-lovers side plot. Here, they grow into supportive co-workers and friends who become better versions of themselves to help the children in their class. In any other media, there would be talk of crushes among the teenagers. Here, we see them grapple with the pressures of academia, abusive or absentee parents, bullying, drugs, and the hopelessness of poverty. In fact, the only mention of sexuality or romance at all comes from Eve, a girl who befriends Airy, a girl from their rival school, and confesses that she had a crush on her when she was younger. Nothing comes of this revelation, even though we see Airy become curious and seek out Eve’s company prior to this revelation, and we see how pleased Airy is about Eve’s confession. But this is a show about unrealized queerness and even Eve and Airy, two girls who understand what they are feeling for one another, still can’t bring themselves to name it.

The lack of heterosexuality creates a void that is filled by Shin and Saint’s relationship. It’s purposeful, and Director Fon uses other friendships in the show to highlight the ways Shin and Saint are not the same. Knot, Nate, and Ken are extremely close friends. They, too, have a “no one left behind” friendship pact. They fight for each other and get hurt for each other and very obviously love each other. Chatjen and Shin’s friendship is also very deep. Chatjen considers Shin his best friend. He hero worships him a bit and sees him as his protector and savior. Yet, anyone watching can understand the ways the producers use music, lighting, costuming, and dialogue to elevate Shin and Saint’s relationship above all the other ones. 

I thought people were exaggerating and just wanted to ship SkyNani but nahhh, the script is really over the top. Bromance my ass 😪. I guess they wanted to make a show about friendship but the gay gene is too ingrained in the industry.

Saint’s 24/7 simping, kicked puppy eyes. Shin’s intense, bashful, lustful gaze. The way Shin acts all tough while asking questions that he KNOWS will push Saint to talk and act like a sap. A dialogue that’s more romantic than MOST bl scripts. Love confessions literally in every fuc*king scene to the point I’m low-key starting to gag. Please stop crying for each other for god’s sake, it’s just another argument! Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice… Longing, yearning, desperate devotion. Deliciously TOXIC codependency. The whole school always there to witness their shameless gay asses.

“Touch him and you die” trope in the most literal sense.

- I’ll become the monster I used to be in order to protect you.

- Clinically obsessed with each other to a degree that is genuinely dangerous to EVERYONE. And romanticised codependency.

- I’ll just kill myself if you ask me to. Everything for my bro 👊

- “My life without you has NO purpose.” I literally stopped existing after our fallout (WTF)

- Fu*ck the world, fu*ck everyone. I only need you.

-“Giving up on you because you’re the only thing that matters to me” (well, well if that isn’t a famous romance trope 🙄)

Anyway, it’s very ironic that the sexy, questionable stuff I wish to see in a good BL is glaringly present in a show about two “Bros”. Both boys need a good slap for a reality check because every episode takes this crazy behaviour a little farther. Though, no one can convince me that Shin is not at least questioning his feelings. That look is way too intense and knowing, while Saint is the typical confused, frustrating and surprisingly innocent male lead.