"Look at me - just breathe, okay?" Ian/Mickey!
quiet moments from the aftermath of 4x11 (ianmickey - 1023 words - ao3)
The house is empty and quiet, Mandy fucked off somewhere when she heard that Terry was coming home, and Ian really hopes it isnât with Kenyatta. Mickey leads him into the small bathroom and tells Ian to sit on the toilet lid. He grabs a shit-ton of washcloths and flicks on the hot water tap.
âHow the ribs doinâ?â Mickey asks, quietly, as he runs a few towels under the hot water.
Ian splays a hand against his ribs and presses down, and they twinge for a few seconds, but itâs nothing horrible. If anything, the pain that collected in his chest after watching Mickey and his father and the baby is gone. His heart was pretty wrecked, before.
âTheyâre fine,â he answers, but the worried look he catches in Mickeyâs eyes doesnât seem to fade. âPromise.â
Mickey nods and he leans down with one of the towels. He starts on Ianâs forehead and works his way down his face, wiping away blood and sweat, and it feels good, the warm cloth and Mickeyâs gentle fingers brushing against his skin. Ian doesnât want to think about why Mickeyâs so good at taking care of injuries, doesnât want to think about the way he and Mandy learned to clean up their wounds, two bruised kids that didnât deserve any of it, and the pain in Ianâs ribs comes back.
Mickey keeps his touches brief.
Please touch me, Ian wants to say, you can do that now, itâs okay. We won.
Mickey canât hear the words battering inside Ianâs head.
He finishes cleaning up Ianâs face, but not before Ian reaches up and clasps a few of Mickeyâs fingers against his face, tangling them together. Mickeyâs fingers still against Ianâs skin.
âFuck off,â Mickey mumbles softly, his eyes fixed on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. Ian doesnât listen immediately, he keeps their fingers together for a few more moments, before letting go.
âYour turn,â Ian says, as he stands up. âSwitch with me.â
They bump into each other a few times as they shuffle around the small bathroom, until Ian is standing at the sink with the washcloths and Mickey is sitting down. Ian reaches over with a wet cloth and wraps his hand around Mickeyâs chin, tilting it upwards. Mickey is pliant in his hands, he lets Ian run the washcloth over his face, and heâd probably never admit it out loud, but he sighs gently at Ianâs touch.
Ian winds a few fingers into Mickeyâs dark hair, brushing it off his forehead as he cleans up his face, and Mickey is quiet until his eyes catch on something behind Ian.
âShit,â he breathes out, his face turning whiter than usual, and something in his voice makes Ianâs blood run cold. âShit.â
Ian whips around, but he doesnât see anything behind them, just a pile of guns on the kitchen table and the messy interior of the Milkovich house.
âThe fuckâs wrong, Mickey?â
âMy dadâs got friends. Buddies,â Mickey says, his voice wobbly and his face pale as a ghost. Ian watches Mickeyâs hands shake in his lap as he finishes cleaning the last spot of blood of his face. âHeâll send them after us. Weâre not safe, Ian. Fuck.â
Ian drops the washcloth after he finishes. âHey,â he whispers, and he can hear Mickeyâs breath speed up dangerously. âHey.â
âIâm serious, Ian. Iâm so fucking stupid. My dadâs never - heâs never gonna.â Mickey stops for a moment. âHeâll kill us.â
Ianâs throat tightens as he frames the edges of Mickeyâs face with his hands. He thumbs at the wrinkles on Mickeyâs brow, smoothing them over. Mickey lets him. âLook at me - just breath, okay?â
He holds Mickeyâs head and he watches Mickeyâs breathing slow and he pushes all the warmth and calm he can against Mickeyâs skin.
âWeâre safe,â Ian repeats, over and over. âWeâre safe,â until the color returns to Mickeyâs cheeks.
âOkay,â Mickey agrees, softly. Ian pulls his hands off Mickeyâs face and leads him towards the bedroom.
â-
Ian waits until heâs pretty sure Mickey is asleep, their legs tangled under the sheets and his arm slung over Mickeyâs shoulder. He pulls Mickey closer and grazes a quick kiss against the top of Mickeyâs head.
âItâll be okay,â he promises, his mouth pressing into Mickeyâs hair, and his eyes sliding shut as Mickey sighs quietly against his chest.
â-
When Ian wakes up, itâs not okay. His whole body hurts, his mind is foggy, heâs so fucking tired and he doesnât know why.
He doesnât register much.
He thinks Mickey is talking to him, he thinks Fionaâs hand might be in his hair, he thinks the bed is cold. Ianâs stuck in a whirlpool and he keeps sinking lower and he doesnât know how to pull himself out.
He doesnât register much until the third day (at least he thinks itâs the third day - time moves slowly and way too fast, all at the same time, and sometimes the room is bright and sometimes itâs dark and he canât make himself move), when he realizes that Mickey is lying next to him on the bed, on top of the covers, because Ian wrapped them tight around his body, like that would protect him, like that would keep him from drowning
Ianâs breath catches in his throat as Mickey rolls over and presses his mouth to Ianâs hair, his breath hot against Ianâs temple.
âItâll be okay,â Mickey whispers, like itâs his turn to take care of them, and Ian might be stuck underwater right now, but damn, does he want to get out.
















