#sheevposting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80875826

Rage - 730 words

Not long after becoming Darth Plagueis' apprentice, Palpatine has to meditate to "feel his feelings".

Anyway, imagine you're sent to steal important files from the Embassy to Naboo. It's not your first job and you've dealt with your fair share of guards and tricky escapes. You move in at night, evading cameras and security. In fact, it almost seems like the building's abandoned. Except for the main office, where the light is on.

You sneak up to the door, scanning the room. There's no one there. Perhaps the ambassador is in a meeting, or using the bathroom. You only need a minute and you're equipped to deal with any unfortunate encounters.

You slip inside the office and reach the desk, silent as a ghost. The files you're after are laid out on the desk, ready for the taking. Almost gift wrapped, missing a personal note to you.

A trap.

"I'm disappointed," a voice says.

You look up and see Ambassador Palpatine emerge from a corner. How could you have missed him?

"With your reputation, I thought you'd be able to spot a trap. Perhaps I have no use for you, after all."

You pull a blaster. "Stay right there. No move, unless you're willing to die for these files."

"Are you willing to die for them?" He steps forward, despite your warning.

"If the information was that important, you should have employed security."

"My dear, the information is so important that I myself am guarding it."

You scoff. "How noble. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do."

"We have that in common, then."

The door to the office slides close.

"Hands up," you say, suspecting a remote control or command.

"You'll need more training than I anticipated. Still, you might be worth recruiting."

"I don't work for--" The blaster flies out of your hand, into the Ambassador's. What? How?

"It's not a job offer." He tosses the blaster aside with a lazy gesture. "Consider it an act of mercy."

Something's not right here. You sweep up the files and book it to the door. Screw visibility. You'll take care of witnesses later.

But before you reach the door, it's like the rug is pulled out from under you. You land on the floor, data drives scattering everywhere.

"That's better," Palpatine says. "A much more suitable position to beg from."

You try to crawl away, but your body's heavy, your mind under the influence of ... something.

Because without fail there is always someone who tags it like

#is this Palpatine thirst??

Or

#have I found my people?

Or

#what the everloving fuck have I just stumbled across

My post washed onto your shores and now you're studying it, measuring this strange relic's worth. Maybe you're questioning yourself. Maybe you're questioning me.