#shatteredvows

Many times the first episode of a series isn't the best example of the show. It may not have figured out what it wants to be yet or maybe the characters haven't been fully realized. But let me tell you, this episode as a first start was fantastic. It pretty much had everything you would expect - the semi famous actors, supernatural forces coming out of nowhere, the crazy scenarios and the sexy results.

What I did notice though, in these early episodes, they seem to not really know what to do with this Hitchhiker character and how to relate him to these stories. I also need to mention that Page Fletcher was not actually the first Hitchhiker and the first few episodes were filmed with an actor named Nicholas Campbell playing the title character. The only version I can find of this episode was the version where they re-filmed his shots with Page Fletcher, so I'm not sure if anything was changed. In this particular episode, the Hitchhiker is shown hitchhiking and the main character's car drives past him fast, not bothering to stop for him. This appears to be his first mistake, possibly contributing to his downfall at the end.

But let's get into it. The episode starts with Jeff, played by Bruce Greenwood. This actor has been in a lot of things, but I mainly know him from the mostly forgotten late 1990s movie Disturbing Behavior. Yeesh, not even that awesome Harvey Danger song could save that movie. Anyways, he's apparently a professional water-skier, who doesn't like picking up hitchhikers. The Hitchhiker describes him as "not a bad guy" but comments that ambition can take people places they wouldn't usually go. This water-skier is soon to be in water way over his head.

After almost hitting the Hitchhiker with his car, he goes to an old Eastern European woman's house. We find out this is his grandmother and she is giving him a wedding gift, a old figurine of an old couple.

Thanks grandma, I'm sure this will totally fit in with my freewheeling, waterskiing lifestyle. He mentions something about how he is going to be living in a big house after he is married, so we can assume he is marrying for money. Waterskiing doesn't pay too much I guess.

Then we meet his wife-to-be or the old bag I guess. She is a very attractive semi-older woman played by Alexandra Stewart. She looked so familiar to me, but looking at what she's done, I realized I was remembering her from a couple episodes of Highlander, the series. They have sex while a bird watches.

It's hard to tell from this screenshot, but this bird is definitely forced to watch their intimacy and if you think that doesn't come up later, you are wrong.

After the soft core, we get a nice establishing dinner scene. Introducing, the sexy step-daughter, who says...well I have no idea. Let's just call her Mushmouth.

This is the old bride-to-be's step-daughter and you can tell there is some friction between the two and maybe some heat between her and Jeff?

He's just watching his favorite TV channel, the pool, when what do we have here? They have sex in a jacuzzi while there are no birds watching.

Then the blessed day arrives! The wedding day is here and I mean I know this was filmed in Canada but why is this bride dress like Anne of Avonlea? We get it, she's old.

This is where we find out all about Mushmouth's inheritance which she only gets if her step-mother dies. Hmmm interesting.

Then the maid, Edith Bunker lights candles on the wedding cake right near that old figurine from Grandma.

The wedding couple suddenly feel like they are burning up and then...

The couple also falls over after this figurine falls and gets a face full of cake. You know, I'm getting some serious Teen Witch vibes from this when she makes that voodoo doll of her teacher. That bird is watching this too by chance. Is this like The Crow, and the Hitchhiker is seeing all this through from the bird's point of view?

After another experiment involving the figurine, Jeff has now pieced together the connection and has a brilliant plan for being able to have his cake and eat it too. He will kill his new-old bride using the figurine so that he can have the young girl and all the money...wait did she say she was going to stay with him after she got her inheritance? Boy this guy is confident.

The plan starts with Jeff taking his new-old wife's friend scuba diving. Because you know he's a water-skier, so he's an expert. They don't get far from the land while Mushmouth is taking part in the other part of the plan, placing a glass case over the figurine.

Jeff has his regulator in, so he can breathe fine, but his wife suffocates and dies. Wow, I can't believe that worked.

After the funeral, it's time to have sex, and that bird is kept from the action yet again. He must not be happy about it because he squawks like crazy, escapes the cage and makes his way towards that figurine. You would think if this thing was basically the cause for his life and death, they would keep it in a safer place.

Blood starts pouring out of Jeff. Before you can say "scratch his eyes out", the bird does just that. By scratching the figurine of course.

He runs outside and then...shattered vows.

Mushmouth has nothing left to do but stare confused at what happened. Well at least she's rich right?

The Hitchhiker doesn't have anything too clever to close this, by voiceover only at this point. Something about stumbling into Hell.

Okay, but my question is why didn't the waterskiing come up again? Wouldn't it have made more sense if he was a scuba diving instructor at the beginning? It never comes back around.