#shatanik

(repost)

A snippet from my latest fic, it's a songfic!!

WTF BRO

THIS IS EPIC (pun unintended)

the way you describe Nakul's wave of memories ToT

Dhrishtadyumna had finished his morning rituals and was walking back toward the palace. The sand felt grainy on his feet, and his hair was still a bit wet. His wet clothes were thrown over his shoulder. He ran his free hand through his hair and sighed. The morning sunlight cast warm shadows on the palace walls. Shalaka vahini must be finishing up with her workouts(and his sons too, he thought absently). Shashi must have finished picking flowers for herself and be readying their breakfast.

One day at a time, one day at a time, he repeated to himself in his head as he finally entered the palace gates. In fact, it was only this week that he had begun waking up early again after.. After being wracked with fever for the past few days. He wasn’t even able to greet his nephews when they arrived. Well, what was done was done, and all he could do was make sure he could look his sister in the eye when she asked him if he was taking care of her sons and tell her that yes, he was.

On a stone seat in the garden, he saw his eldest brother meditating. His brow was furrowed, as it frequently was, these days, but he noticed the tranquility and patience Shikhandi had acquired over the years. He usually spent a long time meditating in the mornings, in the outer gardens. Something about not being allowed there as a child made him like the place more .

He walked further. And on the wall which separated the flower gardens from the orchard, he saw a small, dark figure, hunched over, head buried in his hands. Without making a sound, he crept up behind him. As he got closer and closer, he heard the boy sniffling. He sat down next to him, still staying quiet. Huh, his skills were abysmal. A good warrior would've been hypervigilant, noticed him jumping up onto the wall to sit there.

"Shatanik?" He finally rasped out. His voice was not meant for comforting nephews, it was meant for strategy rooms and battlefields, but he would make do. "Don't you have lessons?" he tried.

Shatanik glared at him with reddened eyes. "I'm supposed to have my lessons in INDRAPRASTHA!" he retorted. "With Vindhya and Soma and- mukta and- and Shrutakarma!" His breath caught on his siblings' names, but he continued speaking amidst his soft but ragged sobs. "You all are treating like everything is FINE! and- and NORMAL!"

"Well, what else are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know! I don't know, alright! How am I supposed to go to lessons and pretend like everything is fine when-" Shatanik finally looked up at Dhrishtadyumna, his big brown eyes filled with tears. "Everything I know is GONE! I don't know if I will ever get it back, my home, my- I miss mother and father." He petered out in a small voice.

"I know," Dhrishtadyumna said. He felt weird, what was he going to tell this child when he was just as much pain as him? He took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "But you know, you have parts of them within you. You need to reach for them. Take comfort from those parts of yourself." It sounded stilted and horrible, he knew, but- but speaking was difficult unless he did not want it to come out as an angry tirade. He had to consciously soften his voice, carefully word his sentences.

Shatanik gave him a dirty look. Shatanik held that stare for a long time. Dhrishtadyumna glared back. This was going nowhere.

"I miss deva kaka too," Shatanik said in a small voice. "And bheem kaka,"

Dhrishtadyumna's face darkened, but he fought hard to keep that frown off. Not in front of the children. Not now. Not in front of the children. He settled for resting a warm hand on Shatanik's back.

"One day at a time," he muttered, not knowing whether he was saying it to himself or Shatanik. "Time helps,"

Shatanik sighed like he was an old man.

"Wait- what you said about me having parts of my parents within me, what if I forget those due to time? I do not want to forget them- I want to burn their humiliation into my eyes and I want to avenge them and-"

"There is a way to not lose them, though."

"What?"

"Right now, all of those good things of your parents are hidden, deep, deep within you. It is all up to you whether you decide to let them fade, or let them grow."

"H- how do I let them grow?"

"You have potential, kid, don't let it go to waste," Dhrishtadyumna said flippantly.

Shatanik looked at mama, trying to comfort him even when he was clearly failing. But wasn't that what mattered? Trying? So he looked more carefully. If mama was making an effort to understand him, he should too, he guessed. Mama's nose was like mother's. Most of his face, actually. His hair was the same dark curly hair mother had, although less well-maintained. His arms were lithe, though, the same toned swordsman's arms father had. His knuckles twitched the same way father's did when his hands lay flat, itching to grasp a hilt. The same awkwardness father had, the same strength mother had. And the same love both of them had for him, he could see in mama.

"Do you trust me?" Mama's voice broke him out of his musings.

"Huh?"

"I said, I can help you be the best version of yourself. I can help you realize your potential. But I need you to trust me. Completely. I know it is not easy to do that, but-"

Shatanik swallowed and nodded. Dhrishtadyumna took Shatanik's small hand in both of his own, and squeezed it.

(Bonus: how does Kshatradeva interact with them?)

SHATANIK DOES HAVE A LOVE INTEREST!!!

Her name is Krittika and she is the only daughter of a pretty high-ranking general in the Panchal army. Her grandfather died in the panchal war and her father put off marriage for a long time because he was busy with the newly acquired post. Which is why her father is a great deal older than Nakul. He had her pretty late. She grows up and shalaka takes her under her wing and under her, she becomes scarily competent at sword/dagger/dandpatta fighting(basically hand to hand combat).

Her and shatanik meet when they're both 22.

He says he'll come back to panchal when the war is over and marry her. (Of course, we know what happens next)