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Costumed anti-war demonstrators at the 1971 Vietnam War Out Now protest, Washinton D.C.
* * * *
“Poems, a lot of the time, are supposedly not made up . . . but they’re all made up. Everything’s invented. The notion of concreteness is therefore very slippery. I’ve always wanted there to be something to see, and poetry is about the tangible and what you can hear. It’s about the form, it’s about voices, and it generally is about telling things. We tell each other things, and so I allow a lot of voices in my poems. I can’t seem to keep them out. I consider them to be concrete entities. At this point, when I write a poem, it seems like a community of voices. My voice is perhaps overpowering, but I don’t know what my voice is. So then other voices come in and I try to let them speak, but I don’t always know where they come from. I make them up. Sometimes they’re people on the street, and sometimes they’re people I know. But that’s concrete. Voices are concrete.”
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Warnings: Injuries, blood, blood-drinking, sex talk and touching.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Rose Astor
Word Count: 1972
Summary: Rose Astor met her end in 1920, joining the ranks of the living dead two years after the birth of Steve Rogers. A century later the two meet in battle - a beacon of light clashing with a creature of the night. Despite their differences, the two bond over their shared life experiences. Can a vampire become an Avenger? Can two such different beings create a life together?
Chapter 10
Blood spilled into Rose’s mouth and down her chin, warm, salty, and nourishing. Rose tried to turn her head, to pull away, to stop from swallowing the very thing that could keep her alive. She had never wanted something as much as this before, yet simultaneously she wanted it to stop, to push away and fight this from happening. Steve was trying to feed her after spending months telling her no and she wanted it so badly, but if she started, she wasn’t sure that she could stop.
There was no stopping it. Her injuries were too severe and even if she was strong enough physically to push him away, when she was this close to death she lost all humanity. The instinct to survive pushed away all mortal thoughts and her body acted outside her control. It would have been hard not just to bite him if he wasn’t bleeding freely into her mouth. The fact he was, made it impossible.
She latched on, her hands going to his forearm and holding it in place as she drank. Each swallow of the thick hot liquid reenergized her. Her wounds knitted and her flesh filled back out. Color returned to her skin. The heat from the blood radiated through her until she felt like a furnace in the middle of the snowy forest.
Never had she felt the effect of blood so fully and to such an extreme as drinking from Steve now. It was like drinking straight from the sun. His blood surged through her, making her feel stronger and more alive than she could ever remember feeling. Within minutes, she felt strong enough to run again, yet she couldn’t pull herself away.
Steve moaned. It was a low and deep sound that reverberated out from his chest. She looked up at him. His head had lolled back on his shoulders and the look of pure bliss etched into his features made her tingle right through to her core. She knew what it was like for the people she fed from. The near-orgasmic feeling that vampires created for their victims was a defense mechanism. It stopped them from struggling and meant the Vampire had more control over the outcome.
God, how she wished this wasn’t happening like this. In the middle of the Russian Wilderness, buried in snow, and surrounded by HYDRA was not where she wanted to be sharing this with Steve. She wanted to do this at home, in her bed, his cock buried as deep into her cunt as he could go. She reached down and put her hand on his cock. He was rock hard, even through the thick fabric of his combat wear she could feel the press of his cock. He moaned again and pulled her closer to him. “Rose…”
It was her name that snapped her out of it. The way he breathed it, the love that it carried even in the throes of pleasure. She released him and pulled back, scrambling away from him. She needed a moment to compose herself and while the wound on his wrist was still open, she wouldn’t be able to. It would heal quickly now she wasn’t feeding - another side effect of her feeding. The wounds healed with no scar, so no one could guess what had happened.
Steve looked up at her dazed. “Rose?” he asked.
“Just give me a second,” she panted. Not that she was breathing heavily. She wasn’t breathing at all. It was just a way to regulate the blood flow and shake off the feeding frenzy that had taken over her. “Are you okay? Did I drink too much?”
Steve shook his head and looked down at his wrist. The wound was mostly healed and he rubbed his hand over it. “I’m okay… what was that?”
“That’s why it’s taken me so long to separate feeding from sex,” she said. “Are you sure you’re okay? We should probably get out of here.”
He stood and while he still looked a little dazed, he was steady on his feet. She stood, shaking off the layer of snow that was clinging to her. “We should find the others,” she said. “I’ll need to go to ground soon. Dawn is coming.”
Steve pointed the way he came. “It’s that way, but we’ll have to move fast if you’re going to make it.”
“I guess we’ll go as far as I can. If I need to bury myself, that’s okay. You can mark it and find me tomorrow night,” she said.
He nodded. “Let’s go,” he said.
The two began to run, tearing along the frozen landscape toward the rest of the Avengers. The cold air stung Rose’s cheeks, yet she couldn’t remember ever feeling warmer or more alive. Something about Steve’s blood had invigorated her. It had given her some sense of life again. More than that, it made her feel slightly high.
She kept her pace steady despite wanting to take off and test her limits. She thought with this new boost she could run over water. She felt invincible.
At the speed they moved, she was sure she’d find the jet and the others before the sun rose. Unfortunately, she’d misjudged exactly how long she’d been awake for. Lethargy began to kick in and she felt the animalistic urge to start to dig. She kept pushing, determined to find something, and just as the first rays of light rose to the East, she spotted a small ice fishing cabin. There were no signs of life around at all and while there was the risk of someone coming during the day, with all the HYDRA activity in the area, it was safe to assume no one would be coming to use it.
Surprising as it was to find any shelter in the Russian wilderness, the fact she could see sunlight and yet was both still awake and not burning was more surprising.
She pointed at the cabin to Steve. “I’m going there. I need to get out of the open.”
He simply nodded and she ran as fast as she could, a mere blur in the snow, pushing the limits of her abilities. Her skin was starting to blister and her energy waned as she reached the building that was no more than a box with a slanted roof. With a massive heave, she shoved the pile of snow away from the door, yanked it open, and hurried inside. Once out of the sun, her skin immediately healed, giving her an almost tanned look. The cabin had bunks built into the far wall, each with a lumpy hole-ridden mattress and dusty blankets piled on them. Closer to the door was a wood stove, and some shelves with tinned food and a bottle of what looked like moonshine. Rose didn’t take long to take it in. She rushed to the bed, pulled down the upper mattress to create a walled box under the lowest bunk, grabbed the blanket, and crawled under it. As soon as the blanket was covering her entire body, her eyes closed. She had lost consciousness before Steve had even reached the cabin.
Rose woke all at once. She had expected to be colder than she was, but aside from the fact that whatever was in Steve’s blood had made her own body heat to above the ambient temperature, warmth radiated out from the other side of the room. She shimmed out under the mattress that was protecting her from the light. Steve was sitting on a rickety fold-out chair by the stove, looking over something on his tablet. With the large coat he had on, he looked far too big for the chair and she wondered how it was even still in one piece.
He looked up at the sound and a smile lit up his features. “Wow,” he said. “You look - different.”
She looked down at herself to try and see what he was talking about. All she could see was the tattered ruins of her uniform. She didn’t need coats like the others, but the outfit covered her neck to toe, including her hands. There was a tear in the fabric on her chest, but the wound under it was completely healed. “What is it?”
“You have a tan,” he said. “I was worried when the sun came up. You normally go into autopilot as soon as it gets close to dawn so you get somewhere dark and protected. What happened?”
She shook her head. “Your guess is as good as mine. I felt that urge, but I was able to overrule it, and when the sun started coming up, it burned but -” she shrugged. “I guess it was your blood. The super-serum. I feel - alive. Or as close to it as I have been since I was turned.”
Steve seemed to assess her. The weight of his gaze was heavy and she felt like she was under a magnifying glass. She wrapped her arms around her body, almost as if she was trying to protect herself. “Is it always like that?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
“The way you felt?” she asked. He gave a short nod in reply. “Yes. I think it’s a survival thing. It’s safer for us if you enjoy the experience.”
He didn’t say anything and she started to worry his feelings had changed about her. She hadn’t wanted this. She’d tried to resist feeding from him, but he’d forced it. “Are you angry with me?” she asked.
He blinked and shook his head. “Oh god, no,” he said, holding out his arms. She moved into them instinctively and he held her close to his chest. The steady even thud of his heart soothing her along with the strong arms. “No, honey. How could I be angry with you? You’ve never lied to me about what you are. This is just new - for both of us. I wonder what it means.”
“I’m sure it will wear off,” she said. “Like when you eat white bread. A blood sugar spike and then drop. By the time I need to feed again, it’ll be like it never happened.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I guess we’ll see.”
Rose closed her eyes and just let Steve hold her. Yesterday had been a lot. She’d had worse days in her life, but they’d been a long time ago. Never had she had someone there to just comfort her like this after so much stress and pain. Usually, the person she had to be with after it, was the same person who had inflicted the pain in the first place.
She pulled back slowly and looked up at him. “Should we find the others?” she asked.
Steve laughed. “Oh, they’re just outside,” he said. He opened the door of the cabin to show her the view of the lake. On the far side, the lights from the Quin reflected off the ice from the lake, glittering like stars. The sounds of the rest of the team talking and preparing to leave floated over on the arctic wind. “I stayed here through the day. I thought a wood cabin near a town and a HYDRA base might be a little risky to leave you unguarded. If someone else came to use it or hide in it, they’d just need to start a fire and that would be the end of you. The rest of the team was off finalizing everything. SHIELD arrived. They made their arrests. The base is in the process of being cleared out of illegal equipment.”
Rose sighed in relief and leaned against him again. “So we can go home?”
“Yeah, we have some prisoners that need to be taken to the Raft,” he said. “But yes, we can go home.”
