September 5, 2019

It took me a long time to write this post--for several reasons. I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings and I needed time to sort them out. So, I guess let's get to it.

Shameless by Camila Cabello

I had no idea what to expect when it came to Romance. And instead of trying to figure it out, I just waited. When Camila's newest singles dropped (very early in the morning, I was so tired) I listened to them without expectations--and my reaction kind of surprised me.

Here's the thing with my relationship with Camila's music: when I first hear it, I don't like it and I don't dislike it. I have to listen to it ten or fifteen times before I begin to even lean one way or the other. It makes my brain do some kind of musical workout--and I'm not entirely sure why.

Sometimes I think it's because her sound and musical choices tend to be different from what I usually listen to. But I also have this issue where I hear music in layers at first, and it takes me time to grasp the full sound and meaning of a song altogether. Those things combined really trips my brain up.

The first time I listened to this song, all I could hear was the tone of Camila's vocals--and holy cannoli, pals, she sounds forking amazing. The grit in her sound when she sings the word 'shameless' in the chorus--astounding. I was legitimately shook when I first took it in.

My second listen through was about the actual music behind her. The melody/bass drop (or whatever you want to call it) at the end of the chorus is dark and haunting and fabulous. And the build to it was so satisfying. The beat was engaging, and it all flowed so beautifully. It's gorgeous and not what I expected from her, but amazing nonetheless.

The third listen through was listening to her tone overlap the music.

Fourth listen through was when I finally began to process what the lyrics were saying and what they could mean.

And I just. kept. listening.

Seriously. I had it on a loop. I was compelled by otherworldly-musical forces.

I like it. I do. My being is just confuzzled by all that Shameless makes me feel--and trying to pick which playlists I want to add it to has been its own kind of struggle.

The other thing that had my brain wrapped around this song was an article I read about her new album today. And it seriously disappointed me.

The writer framed everything about Camila's album through the context of who Camila is dating. And I got frustrated very quickly. I understand this is an album called Romance. I get that she put out the video saying this was going to be about love in her 20s. Obviously her current relationship would play a role in all this.

But to ignore her past relationships undermines the place she began writing this album in. And to completely frame her art and its importance based on who she's presently involved with is absolutely ridiculous. It undermines the validity of her creative process and her very real emotions. These songs are about her and her experience. To side swipe that in favor of her current counterpart is a disservice to her talent and to her as an artist.

She deserves better. As an artist. As a young woman. Across the board. And I just could not move past it.

So, in short: this is potentially my longest Songs of 2019 post (sorry, not sorry) and Camila Cabello is so gifted. Her tone is 10/10 fab. She is able to infuse so much depth and emotion and robustness into her vocal quality that it takes her music to the next level. Shameless is amazing. I cannot wait to see what the rest of her album brings us.