#sgtnull12

@sgtnull12​ | send me a ✖ if my character gives you feels ( accepting )

@sgtnull12 | send me a topic to write meta about my muse on | (accepting)

I HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST ASKED ME TO DO

I don’t even know if I can accurately summarize everything I’d want to say about roan to be honest. I just love him so much. more importantly, ferus loves him with his whole heart and literally everything he has. he loves roan to a point where he considers roan to be the one who saved him. and that alone is so damn telling for who roan must be, even beyond what we actually see in the text.

like, what kind of person can not only save a socially awkward emotionally inept anxiety case with responsibility and guilt complexes, but actually turn him around into a well-adjusted, relaxed and genuinely happy guy? someone who is patient and generous and warm and affectionate and stable and trustworthy and safe.

roan is such a good person. you can’t convince me otherwise. there’s not even a hint of malice or manipulation in him. and even without ferus’ biased narration you see it clearly in his interactions with others - he’s sociable, fun, generous and kind. but he’s also practical, authoritative, straightforward, cool under pressure and skilled. he integrates himself into groups without hesitation. he takes charge of situations, and when he tells someone to back off, nobody questions him. he’s every bit a leader of the eleven as ferus is. he’s kind and he’s wonderful but that’s not even remotely all that he is - he’s also highly competent and someone to be reckoned with. he had a price on his head! several execution orders!! they really wanted him gone.

honestly, one of my favourite things about him is that if you read between the lines, he’s clearly jedi critical. it’s a small detail but it’s another thing that really adds to him. “I thought you left the jedi”, he says. ferus says he did. “doesn’t look that way from here.” it’s subtle, but there’s some disapproval - in the narration too, when he gets pov chapters. he’s fully supportive of his husband but that doesn’t mean he has to like everything he supports. and he’s not going to hide that he desn’t, either. he is his own person and his integrity and ideas are not compromised because of the people around him. (side note, why the hell wouldn’t he be jedi critical? he would have seen all the ways ferus wasn’t okay after he left the order. my god)

AND he’s definitely an impulsive idiot sometimes. he’s flawed. it’s clearly stated that when ferus had the idea for their company, roan sold everything he owned to finance it. like, buddy …. slow down. I wish we’d have gotten to see more of an impulsive streak (but it’s there in his cheekiness and his quick action) but I also LOVE that it exists because it counters ferus’ caution and also shows how ferus became an impulsive idiot too to begin with. some of it rubbed off.

ugh and then you just look at his strength of character in all. tortured for days with neurotoxins. a never-before-seen mix of neurotoxins. when we first see him his eyes are open but the stare is vacant and he’s unresponsive. his mind just checked out because of that torture. but he still when he’s barely conscious is like “I’m gonna go get my husband, thanks”. he’s definitely the kind of person to need to be physically restrained sometimes. he’s stubborn and strong and kind of dumb and SO GOOD.

he’s been through so much hell - he lost his sister in the wars, he had to hide his family, TORTURE - but he still makes frequent jokes, still keeps a clear head, and even when he just got out of torture hell, he’s strong and smart enough to fight a stranger who says he wants to help but could be out to get his husband. roan trusts, but not to a point of naiveté. and roan will be critical of the people around him because he has to be. he probably wasn’t before the wars and the rebellion, but he learned to be, because he has a job to do and he has to prioritise his people, and he does. unflinchingly. he must hate it, but this is what he needs to be, and so he is.

ugh honestly roan is such a well-rounded and compelling character even without enough time devoted to him. I just love him so much. he’s so caring and generous and affectionate but he’s been through hell, too. it kills me that ferus describes his eyes as “sad”. and it kills me even more how he’s killed purely out of spite. roan deserved so much better. roan is INCREDIBLE. and I’ll never be over roan ever.

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. [Accepting]

[Purple prose is the number one way to get me to recoil from a piece of writing (or an rp blog), tbh. I don’t want to see that one has skills with opening a thesaurus and basically replacing almost every word with a different one that only is kind of a synonym. You can make writing beautiful without five dollar words. Some words have a different nuance from the one you should actually use, that kind of thing? 

((Filed under "things that broke my heart today": T H I S.))

<3 my work here is done. haha