I am not perfect, but I am perfect just the way I am.

Some times we need to cry, sometimes we need to scream and sometimes we just need to lay there and adsorb it all.

I am not perfect, but i am perfect just the way I am.

I am fearful. Afraid of heights, fire, cows. being alone, being angry, losing things, and not being right. This is what sets me back. I take out my anger on the ones I love the most because when something doesnt go my way i get upset then  become fearful of myself and take it out on someone. This is what sets me back. 

I am not perfect but I am perfect just the way I am.

I am so shameful of myself for acting this way, I am shameful of isolating myself and thinking that it is everyone elses fault for not hitting me to hang out or asking me if i am okay. I am going through a faze where i think i dont have any friends but that is not true it is only my fault. and that is what sets me back.

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way i am.

I am afraid to be alone and to lose things. I cling to the things i love way to much some might say i just love too hard. I give what i love my all and trust that it will never hurt me and that makes me a fool because the fact of the matter is not everyone is me as much as i would like to think of it that way some people see things a little different and will take that part of me and run. i trust too much and that is what sets me back. 

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way i am.

I hold grudges. I start to hate the people that I should not hate. I have a very big problem with resentment and It makes me cold, angry, and sour. and this is what sets me back. 

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way I am.

but i love. I love the wind, i love the heat of the air when rain hits hot pavement. I love sitting with my friends at a park all day long wasting time, i love to travel, i love to make people feel okay and safe just as I myself want to feel okay and safe. I love the smile on someones face when you make their day its that kind of ear to ear grin that cant be matched any other way. I love the way it feels to lay in the grass and look up at the tree line in the sky. I love flowers and i love to smell nice. I love my clothes and I love my cat. I love the feeling of hugging someone after you are both really excited. I love giving people tarot card readings at festivals. I love waking up at 8 a.m. every morning just because i can and still feeling okay to go on with my day. I love doing yoga outside then laying there at the end. I love taking pictures of bugs i find even though i would never touch them. and I love making art.

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way i am.

but i create. I am very creative, i create channeled art and that gives me passion of day, i create love so others may heal and so that it may heal me as well, i create beauty as i know i give it off, i create energy which i so lovingly project. 

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way i am.

I am talented, i am beautiful i am strong i am forgiving, i try to be understanding, i love maybe a little too much, i feel, i care, I am.

these are all things that put me forward 

I am not perfect but i am perfect just the way i am

The things i am shameful for are the things that put me forward the things that i change, manipulate, or realize are all things that set me forward. I should not be getting angry over petty things i need to let go, why do i continue to hold onto such intense pain inside of me? why do i hold grudges and create resentment that hurts others. I am afraid. I am afraid that if i let go i will lose and i dont want to lose i just want to love thats all i have ever wanted. I need to get over myself because these are not the things that set me back i am the thing that sets me back. i am what causes me pain so why dont i remember that? why do i have to keep reminding myself of that? it is so hard to let go but letting go isnt losing it is just feeling love over pain. I am afraid that if i let go i will not feel anything. i can let go of everything else so why not let go of this? this is not what sets me back for this is what sets me forward