#serialdating

Just moved back to my hometown and have started seriously dating again. 

I have been on at least ten dates. 

1 League Date (Mechanical engineer)

(I don’t understand the league and I’m not sure anyone actually uses it.)

5 Hinge Dates (Architect, Amazon coder, Medical Intern, Research assistant, Accountant)

4 ok cupid dates (Engineer, business something or other guy, amazon coder, nurse)

I have three first dates scheduled for next week. (Accountant, videographer, and nonprofit manager)

If you’re like me, you constantly get questioned, nagged, and taunted for being a serial dater. And what I mean by that is that I don’t like being single, so I pretty much avoid it at all costs. I love relationships and being with someone and having him be your closest and most trusted best friend. I absolutely believe in love, and that it takes work, but that it’s ultimately worth all the work in the world because you get to love and be loved by the one who treats you right, and you need nothing more. Some may think of me as a hopeless romantic; however, I like to think of myself more as a hopeful romantic. I know that I will find love, and the sooner the better, so I never give up and I try to give everyone a chance because-who knows?- they could be the one!

But, that’s not exactly what led me to write this post. Unfortunately what did is the fact that me and my boyfriend broke up this morning. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty, and I cried a lot. But he should take that as a compliment for how much I cared about him. Anyways, it got me thinking about how I feel about dating in general. It’s funny, because usually when you break up with someone you get angry at them, or you try to start getting over them, or whatever else you non-serial-daters do. But for me? Not the case. For me, I began thinking about how I was going to find another boyfriend.

Please, don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t want you to think that I’m bitter and I don’t care about my now-ex, I really do. But you know what he told me? He said there there are other guys out there, and that one of them is right for me-just not him. Obviously it was still hard to hear this because almost everything about our relationship was exactly what I wanted except for one thing. P.S. I’m about to go on a slight tangent, you can skip to the next paragraph if you’d like. But here I go. So, the one thing was a big thing, and unfortunately not one that I could settle for, and not one that he could change. Because of that, even though we care about each other so much, it could never work out. And that thing is talking. I like to talk-a lot. Many guys don’t like to talk that much. But it’s really important to me, and he said he was trying really hard, but it still wasn’t working. I think that communication is so important in relationships, and when I date someone, I want them to be my best friend, and for us to talk about anything and to know everything about each other. But that just wasn’t happening. I’m glad we figured it out now instead of later, though, because if this was already happening after about a month, it probably wouldn’t improve much from there. He also wasn’t the only guy who this has happened with. I’m terrifyingly starting to get used to the line “I just can’t give you what you need.”

Now, back to the main point. After a break up, my friends often say “Why don’t you take a break from guys and just have fun yourself?” Well, the thing is, the single life isn’t very fun for me. I love having someone who I can tell everything to and who knows everything about me, and vice-versa. I love staying up late talking and learning more together each day, and doing fun things together, and hearing each other’s opinions and intelligence in different areas of their life, and cuddling. Any sort of affection is so much better for me if there is a strong emotional connection as well. In fact, I have a hard time even holding someone’s hand or hugging them if I don’t feel comfortable enough with them. I crave connection, physical and emotional. But in my book, the emotional part is so much more important, and should definitely happen first, and continue increasing throughout the entirety of the relationship.

I guess I just really hope that one guy out there agrees with me. Actually, I wish that a lot of guys agree with me, because there are many girls out there who want what I do, but can’t find a guy who reciprocates that desire. And guys who agree or don’t, please know that just because of the culture that we live in with meaningless small talk and hook ups and loneliness doesn’t have to be the one that you choose. It’s up to you. If you want a girl to care about, love and make happy, then you’re going to have to make that happen. But don’t worry, relationships are all about working together, so if you both want it enough, then she will work hard for it, too.

So to all my fellow serial daters out there, you are not alone! You are not boy-crazy (well maybe some of you are), and you are not wrong to want what you want to to feel how you feel. So if what you want is to find your true love, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find that prince, but my advice to you is that in the end when you find that guy who truly treats you right, it will all be worth it. So do whatever suits you, but as for me? I’m not giving up. Oh, and I’m single, and ready to find my soulmate.

With love,

Ex's that wont go away, I don't understand them. If we broke up there is no reason for us to stay friends unless we were great friends before we decided to complicate things by having an intimate relationship. 

In any case this song is a perfect example of how I feel right now, plus the music video was one of my favorite's as a child. I recall having a friend a year younger than me also named Michael and he wore a single silver glove and we danced to the best of Michael Jackson's music videos back in 1990. It was a wonderful time, we were just kids discovering what we liked and having fun with it.

Word of advise, if an ex asks you to leave them alone especially after a year(s) of trying to have contact please do stay away. It's annoying for anyone to be so relentless. 

This goes out to all my ex's that text, g-chat, e-mail, try to add me on Facebook, Instagram, etc. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. 

This blog is about my adventures in dating, some stories may make you laugh, others sad or angry, but my aim here is really to tell you the most funny and/or ridiculous moments of my dating life. Why? Because they are stories my friends seem to enjoy, so why not share them with the masses? Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two from my failed attempts at finding the one.

Sooooo....dating. I have had my fair share of first dates. Now, second and third dates, not so much.

As a 26 year old woman I do realize that I am not the only one out there self diagnosed with this disease known as serial dating. For anyone reading this right now and wondering if you too have also been infected with the disease, common symptoms include: going on a date with anyone who asks (regardless of gender or species), finding yourself wanting to be on your phone during most of the dates, drinking entirely too much alcohol on most of the dates, drinking entirely too much alcohol prior to most of the dates (you know to take the edge off), closing the date with an awkward ass out hug, wanting to change your telephone number, address, and hair color (at a minimum) so as to avoid ever coming in contact with most of your victims again.

The list of symptoms is never-ending. Do feel free to post some of your personal symptoms here if ever you fear you are going crazy and need me and other serial daters to reassure you that you really ARE NOT crazy, you are justing dating.

A little about me so you can get where I am coming from; I love people, well MOST of the time. Nothing arouses my psycho ass like engaging in deep conversation about anything or absolutely nothing at all. So haute.   I require very little sleep which is usually an issue when dates start turning into sleepovers, but we will save that for another time. I love my dog, most animals, and all babies. I cannot function without coffee. Music is everything. I hate judgmental close minded people and I totally reserve the right to be a hypocrite and judge your boring ass for being so judgmental. Variety is the spice of life people so come on and sprinkle that variety all over your shit! I have the mouth of a drunken sailor and I am ashamed of it, but not ashamed enough to change. I ask way too many questions when I am interested in someone or something. I wear my heart on my sleeve and you will always know how I feel. I honestly believe that my sister and I are the most impatient people in the world and I am trying to work on that but the change is not happening quickly enough for me. My friends are the best. No really, they are way cooler than your friends. Just saying.