Joined the league and which touts itself as an “elite dating app”.
It took me about 2 weeks to get off the “waitlist” (is it actually real? Or fabricated to get people to think they are really joining something special?). During this time they want you to have already downloaded their fucking app on your phone and check it once a day to see your waitlist status. 🙄 And you can skip the wait if you pay for it. After you’re off the waitlist you only get 4 possible matches a day.
I’ve been using it for a month? I’ve only matched with one person, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be- “selective”.
Anyway. I went on a date with this guy and he was nice! Friendly, charming, interesting. We met up at a bar and chatted for 4 hours. I invited him to a show I was going to with my friends that weekend. He had some friends in town and I told him to bring them along.
I ended up entertaining him and his friends the entire time. He was being really sweet, keeping his arm around my waist or touching my knees. It felt good. After the show I didn’t really check with my friends to see what they were doing. I thought everyone was splitting up so I went with him and his friends back to his house and we played cards against humanity (which is not a game I like at all. It’s just an excuse to be say things that violate social norms/is kinda racist/homophobic all under the guise of “it’s just a game).
Afterward I went up to his room and we messed around and had sex and I slept over. In the morning he asked me what my plans were for the week, we made plans for Thursday and he drove me home.
I didn’t really hear much from him after but I tried not to let it bother me. He hadn’t really texted me much between the first date and the second, so I chalked it up to just not being a texter. Wednesday I texted him about our plans for Thursday and I got an enthusiastic “heck yes” and he said he’d pick me up at 6:45.
Thursday morning I received a text
“My apologies, but I think I need to step away. I’m pulling myself in too many directions right now and I need to focus on just a couple. I’m sorry for the abrupt note-to be sure this really is a case of it’s not you it’s me.”
I wrote a frustrated and hurt response in reply and my friends told me not to send it. It pissed me off, but also I’ve sent this same message to guys before too. Usually after a first date, but still. I’m still frustrated. I wish that I hadn’t slept over at his house, hadn’t had sex.
I slept with him because I thought this was going to move in a direction of getting to know each other.
I ended up responding with “hey, thanks for letting me know. I was excited about getting to know you. I think this is a good opportunity for both of us to evaluate how we communicate our intentions to other people. Best of luck.”
He responded “best of luck to you too.” And spelled my name wrong. 😑
I deleted his number, but I keep going through my head of different ways I’d like to tell him to go fuck himself.
I’ve realized I’m finding one night stands emotionally exhausting and I just can’t anymore. I’m so tired the next day and never get anything accomplished. So I feel like he took time from me that I could have been focusing on my friends but also the next day where I needed to be getting work done.
And I know my frustration isn’t just at him. It’s at myself. It’s that the way I date isn’t working for me anymore and I have to change. And that I was hoping he would get my mind off of the Australian guy, but it just made it worse.
So. New dating resolution, which has been a long time coming. No sex till the 4th or 5th date. Get to know someone, make sure they are actually interested in getting to know me, not just having sex. If this bothers guys, they can fuck off. I’m done wasting time and energy on people that don’t deserve it.
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