#sep30

Every single one of the boys follows their personal skincare routine, some (Jungkook) going through it a little more sloppily than others (Seokjin). By now, they can dress, undress, remove makeup and apply their skincare in the dark. Months of touring do that to you. Thanks to the tiredness crawling through their bones and minds, there’s not much talking. Everyone just wants to finally lay their heads down and shut off. However, there’s the occasional cough, sigh or groan, hidden but truthful answers to the question, “are you okay?”

At this point, they aren’t. Calendar pages of exhaustion accumulate and leave the boys shaking, no matter how well they eat or sleep or prepare. Jimin’s got it the worst this time around, apparently, because he keeps getting dizzy spells, keeps throwing up and waking up sweaty and feverish and still insists on pulling through their performances as if nothing ever happened to him. They all know (ARMY doesn’t) and they’ve all talked about this already in an emotional exchange of feelings and facts.

Everyone does this, but Namjoon especially makes sure to check on the suffering younger, always with an open ear and ready hands. Just like he suspected, old issues and insecurities bubble up under the immense pressure of camera flashes and microphones.

Tonight is no different. Namjoon spends probably an hour with Jimin, sending his dongsaeng off to bed with comforting words, a long, rocking hug and painkillers, taking the younger’s temperature and as required, going through the medical sheet that he’ll have to hand over to their personal physical tomorrow.

Jimin still groans in pain when Namjoon leaves, but at least his heart is lighter and he manages a genuine smile before the light turns off.

Namjoon himself doesn’t feel particularly well either, even as his heart fills with gratitude and warmth as he stops by every room to say goodnight to the members. As he feared, his mind is loud and chaotic tonight, brain cells thrumming with excess energy (he can’t say where it’s coming from all of the sudden), running as fast as the engines of the airplane they were on a couple of hours ago. Normally, five tosses are his maximum before he glides off to dreamland. Normally, his head hits the pillow and he’s gone.

But that normally doesn’t happen tonight. An hour passes, a second one almost follows and Namjoon feels overwhelmed by the noise that is intent on cracking his skull open in this silent room. It’s too quiet here when all he’s had in the last months were stadiums full of screaming fans.

At one point, Namjoon’s had enough of this uncomfortable situation. He wanders around a little, pays a visit to the bathroom, googles a few methods to calm down (he already knows all of them, it’s time for humanity to come up with something new already), tiptoes down the hallway to press his ear to the member’s doors, finds the kitchen’s water supply and his own throat treatment package.

He’s swallowing some obligatory supplements when something moves in his vague periphery and in the semi-dark hallway behind the open door. Namjoon freezes, almost drops the glass in his hand. What was that? He catches the glass, thanks God and his reflexes (where have you been all my life?), aware that a shattering glass would have disturbed everyone else.

When he looks back to the hallway, there’s nothing there. Even as he walks over to the door, the entire hallway visible in both directions, there’s nothing unusual. He frowns.

Namjoon’s mind tells him what he saw was a small something, like a small animal, a puppy or a cat maybe. His mind also tells him it can’t be any of their pets because Micky and Tannie and Rapmon and Holly aren’t here (and Rapmon is definitely bigger than that). Thirdly, his mind suggests that they might be in one of those hotels with pets that accompany guests for comfort and stress relief. Maybe management wanted to do something nice for them but forgot to tell them. But then, that’s a strange idea too because in the three hours they’ve been in here, they haven’t seen any animals and they haven’t opened the door to let any in. So where did it come from?

Of course, pet hotel is one hell of an assumption but Namjoon knows he’s definitely seen something. On the other hand, Namjoon’s mind keeps talking, tells him that he should go back to bed, that he is actually a sleep-deprived human being that will break down tomorrow if he doesn’t get rest tonight.

Maybe I just imagined it, Namjoon thinks and wipes his face. I should really get to bed.

But it bugs him, even as he’s under his blanket, so much so that he sees the little shadow over and over again behind his closed eyes. Groaning at himself, he decides to check it out a second time. What if it’s a wild animal from the outside, maybe a misdirected bird? Or a stray cat? With his phone’s flashlight, he lights through the kitchen, through the living room even if he doesn’t really expect the animal to be there. There are only two rooms down the side of the hallway that he thinks the animal might have walked to, and those rooms are Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s. Not wanting to disturb his hyungs, Namjoon tries to keep the light beam to a minimum and quickly closes their doors again.

A muffled, “‘Night, Namjoon” reaches him from Yoongi’s room and he sends the wish back. He huffs. There’s nothing out of the ordinary in either room (it is out of the ordinary to catch Yoongi awake in bed, but he doesn’t mean that) and starts wondering whether he imagined the animal.

I must be really tired, Namjoon concludes. For the third time this night, he slips into his sheets and closes his eyes. Finally calming down, he drifts off.

---

Jimin wakes up in Yoongi’s arms and isn’t quite sure how he got here but he’s incredibly grateful for the prolonged skinship with his hyung. For not being alone. For being taken care of. For the fact that Yoongi accepted him into his bed. Usually, this hyung sleeps alone. The bed is his holy space. No one disturbs him at night.

There is no way to fight off the smile on Jimin’s face. He likes sleeping with Yoongi. It’s peaceful. And Jimin feels refreshed. Which is not a given for Jimin. He looks to the side, where Yoongi’s face is smushed against his pillow, mouth half open and eyes relaxed. Maybe Yoongi has perfected the art of sleeping to the degree that his sleep even energizes the people touching him.

When Yoongi wakes up gradually, the elder seems a little confused at first but sends Jimin a bright smile. His voice is oddly raspy and Jimin thinks it’s still as cute as the first time he’s heard his hyung’s morning voice.

“I dreamt there was a kitten in my bed.” “Really?” “Yeah. A baby cat. But I see now that it was you.” “What does it mean, hyung?” Jimin looks excited, with his eyes becoming bigger and his teeth showing. He cuddles back into Yoongi’s shoulder. “Does it have to mean anything?” “Of course. Taehyung’s halmoni used to say that all dreams mean something.” Yoongi musters Jimin with one open eye. “Is that so?” “Yeah. So, what do you think it means?” “I don’t know,” Yoongi mumbles, “that I should get a cat?” “That’s lame, hyung. Holly would hate to share you. What do you usually dream about?” Yoongi looks at the ceiling, blushing a little. That piques Jimin’s curiosity. He giggles. “Hyung, tell me! You’re so red!” “Shut up,” Yoongi groans and hides his face under the comforter. Jimin crawls under to put his face on his hyung’s chest. “Tell me, hyung. I won’t tell anyone, promise.” Yoongi’s eyes crinkle. “You’re so cute, Jiminie, I swear. It’s not good for my health.” “So, what do you dream of?” “My bed,” Yoongi mumbles, “it’s soft and pretty and warm and never rejects me and-“ Jimin has the urge to laugh but doesn’t want to embarrass his hyung further. “Daydream, daydream,” the younger sing-songs. “No, at night. During the day, I usually dream of Holly or tteokbokki.” “I’m surprised you even find time to daydream, hyung. Sometimes I even wonder if I have time to breathe.” “What do you usually dream of, Jiminie?” “It’s stupid.” Yoongi frowns but his eyes are soft when he pulls a couple of blonde strands of hair out of Jimin’s face. “I’m sure it’s not. Unless you have nightmares. Nightmares are stupid.” Jimin breathes. The warmth of his hyung gives him confidence. “I do get nightmares. But the other nights, I dream of all the things I want to do with Taehyung and Jungkook and all of you guys. Travel cities, visit places, play games, all that.” “That’s beautiful,” Yoongi rasps. There’s adoration in his eyes when he slings an arm around Jimin’s waist to pull him closer. “Let’s doze off until Namjoon drags us out of here.”

Later, during breakfast, Jimin receives compliments on how well-rested he looks. He surprises everyone with a good appetite, food that stays in his stomach, and a relaxed mind that lets him tend to the others. He smiles.

“I do feel better.”

Maybe he should sleep with Yoongi more often.

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