#senut

This observation has also brought with it the realization that I have been merely going through the motions spiritually, and not really engaging with my higher power. I stopped performing Senut regularly and instead I've spent morning and night merely praying at my shrine unceremoniously, just to check it off. I have not been asking Yinepu for help and guidance in my daily affairs, and my stress level has been rising.

I've also found myself caught up in non-dual teachings which draw the focus away from deity worship entirely.

I recently remembered a prayer I once used on a regular basis: "Yinepu, help me do the things that bring me closer to You." If I could only say one prayer forever, I think I'd choose this one. I don't know when I stopped using it, but now I'm implementing it again.

Of course I cannot resist mixing other religious customs into my practice. I have a small 54-bead mala that I use for japa meditation, using His name as my mantra. I do this every night as I'm falling asleep.

I cleaned my worship spaces. I find the state of my shrines reflects my devotion to my spiritual life, and offers hints at how much I love and care about myself as well. The Netjeru are either a priority, or they aren't. They say in AA that you can't think your way into right acting, but you can act your way into right thinking. If I regularly repeat the sort of actions that suggest strength in my spiritual life, it will become reality for me.

I've been making serious effort to turn my will over to Yinepu when I don't get what I want, or even when I do. I have to remind myself that I am not in charge; I am not the center of the universe. I ask Him to send me someone I can help each day when I pray. Helping others has been my mind altering substance in sobriety and I could really use a fix.

And I need to continue these practices, whether they produce the results I seek or not. Without a strong spiritual life I am miserable at best.

Elder Scrolls Cookbook: S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread

After the first Beginner's class and becoming Remetj, I finally did my first Senut. I know its super late into it, but due to personal situations I couldn't until now. My first Senut was Wednesday, Nov. 21.

I was really anxious about it, and I'm sure others have been too their first time as well. I don't have a godphone either (at least not yet), so I didn't know who was telling me or giving me feelings of what. Either way, I finally did it, and let me tell you: it was one of the best things I did in my life.

As an eclectic pagan, I kinda just do my own thing, which most often than not is nothing at all, partly because I'm lazy and partly due to not knowing what to do, and trying to figure out what to do just makes me not wanting to do it anymore (thanks, anxiety), so nothing actually gets done.

While doing Senut and immediately afterwards, I felt this peace and calmness in my soul. Anything I was worried about washed away, and I just felt complete relief. It's amazing, really. And, on Friday the 23rd, I got my first harsh whiplash of a lesson, and I definitely learned it. I did ask during Senut to learn any lessons that I needed to learn, and I definitely got it 😂. Either way, I'm glad that I did it, and I'm doing Senut again tonight when I get a chance.

Those of you in KO, what was your experience when first doing Senut? I would live to hear how others experienced their Senut!

Senebty

On Accumulation

In “The Curse of Chalion”, by Lois McMaster Bujold, there’s a scene between two characters regarding the ghosts of a very old place called the Zangre.  “The Zangre is older than Chalion itself,” says the main character, Cazaril.  “It surely...accumulates.”  To which his conversational partner, the dowager queen of Chalion, says, “Yes.  It accumulates.  That’s the word, precisely.  It collects calamity like a cistern, as its slates and gutters collect rainwater.”

In Senut today, it occurred to me that our souls and minds also accumulate.  I don’t want to be negative and say that they only collect calamity, because if we’re open and honest about our mistakes, then making mistakes is a good thing because it’s a powerful way to learn, and surely we accumulate the joy from good things, too.  But I think that the material world itself accumulates on us spiritually, kind of like the way a vehicle moving through a sand storm builds up a layer of dust.

So I realized that one of the functions of ritual preparation for Senut is that it is a disciplined way to wash away the negative accumulation that gets in the way of us being open to the Names.  We invoke powerful Names, because sometimes that accumulation is really ground in, or even bound to us by our fears, and those bonds have to be undone in order for us to get off the grime.