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*squirms*
So, I really, truly-madly-deeply (my Xennial is showing) want to share here (or on AO3 for archival purposes) that funny scene from my novel that I mentioned a while ago. BUT the pressure is insane.
What if no one reads it?
What if they do?
What if no one likes it?
What if no one likes it because I've been super-indulgent with Peter's pretty side and that will lead people to misunderstand his character?
What if his dynamic with his beloved doesn't come across as magnetic and interesting as it is for me?
What if I get flames?
What if there are too many spoilers?
What if people actually do like it, and they run away with parts of it? Like, I can't put the scene in the book in full, but Peter's peculiar outfit? Their dialogue? I'd like to cut them out and set them somewhere inside the body of the novel. So what if someone copies something? Runs my excerpt through AI to "get more out of this story"?
I've been working on this story for... Oh gosh, one year? More??? And I'm nowhere near done, so who knows if I'll ever complete, let alone publish it, but this is my heart's project (especially since I only recently realised: Peter is a more fleshed out version of the protagonist of the first story I tried writing; same for the King being a more grounded, detailed version of that story's Love Interest).
And I'm talking to the void (fair, who still follows me here doesn't do it for Petey), but it's... Ugh. Complicated. So, so complicated.
So, I went online* searching for a replacement word to swap for "suddenly" in a sentence, and all the advice found were more or less "change the structure of the sentence" or "don't use adverbs".
Which... Are not replacement words to swap for "suddenly" in a sentence. So I'm at a loss. Anyone?
*edited to add: I went straight to Reddit, completely overlooking the various dictionary sites 🫣😅
What do you mean, I can't make one my secondary characters speak Louisiana Creole because there aren't reliable translation tools and resources online????????
I have a piece of advice.
I'm not sure it's good advice, but it's what happened to me.
Since I only have one more month to dedicate to this, I just. Write. Whenever. Whatever. (I've got the epilogue in my PC, and several scenes from the second half of the novel in a 1-1 WhatsApp chat, of all things). And when you're sitting in front of the manuscript, adding to it... just add to it.
Even if it doesn't work. Even if it doesn't fit.
Write.
Worst case scenario, you throw away everything, BUT you'll have a clearer picture of what you need to make it work and what to stray clear of.
And if it works but with heavy editing — it's still good. It's still you doing two passes in one: first draft AND editing. Plus, you're establishing a fixed point to build up from.
It's FRUSTRATING.
Personally spent hours yesterday on two pages, and I'm already reworking them in my mind today but — I can rewrite exactly because I have the clearest possible picture in my mind, thanks to all that toiling yesterday.
It won't always work, but don't knock it off. Sometimes, it might just be what you need to wrangle the story into the next stage.

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Do you ever... Impulsively, close a file of notes, not saving, because it's midnight and you're tired, and besides you'd already "moved everything important in the main file", but then immediately realise that, nope, you didn't "get everything important"?
I didn't lose much, just a paragraph. But it was a key paragraph I've been reworking for weeks (on and off, when the muse called). It was FINALLY right, but it's lost, and I don't remember a single thing about it.
Crap, crappity crap.
I have a question, if anyone will answer it.
What if you invest in the love growing through the pages.
The confusion, the tenderness, even the first, shy stirs of a new kind of desire. The curiosity, the feelings taking shape, growing into their name.
You see the complicity, the shared glow.
The teasing, the tension.
...and then—
Speaking of Peter!!
I'm still halfway through the book, technically, and I don't know if I mentioned it here or not, but:
- reworked half the prologue, marking only the beginning scene as "to do" because it needs some proper pacing
- rewritten chapter 1 entirely. Peter's now more nuanced. His Beloved is less of a gothic ghost, and more the formidable man of ice he's supposed to be
- rewriting chapter 2 with a completely new perspective
- hitching to reach the end of this chapter so I can add the Innuendo Scene ™️ I told you guys about
- found a new shippy scene I can add to soften the road from "let me knife you as a greeting the first time we meet after 200 years" to "slow burning their way into an Epic Love the minstrels will sing of for eternity", but I'm unsure whether to add it or not. Book's already pretty slow paced (on purpose! This is slowburn!) I don't want to tip into "where's the action?" territory right at the start.
- MIGHT have found where to go in chapter 10, after the "I woke up and you were gone 🥺" scene. It still doesn't bridge the whole way to the caves, but it's a step in the right direction
Plus, I now have several spin-offs in my head 😂 Not just the one involving the pseudo BKDK characters I added in as a cute call back and actually took over my brain. (You'd NEVER guess who Ma-chan parents actually ARE in the novel 👀)
And since I'm sick and bedridden, the daydreamed scenes only keep increasing.
Exponentially.