#selfshipping things

But fr like I'll show ppl Marko (without mentioning selfshipping bc i love them but theyd actually be unironically concerned and so weirded out if i tried to explain it) and half the time theyre like "Oh yeah no hes kinda cute 😚" and the other half they go "Oh...... ok..."

It was imperial year 1185, a mark of history that heralded five years since the flames of war consumed Fódlan. Ever since the battle and consequential loss of Garreg Mach Monastery to Emperor Edelgard's army, Rebekah's life had been thrown in chaos, much like the rest of the world. Under Seteth's rushed and final order during the struggle with the enemy, all students of the Officers Academy were to immediately evacuate to their homelands. For Rebekah, this meant running off to the capital of the Kingdom, Fhirdiad. After a teary reunion, her family immediately set forth on mass-producing recruitment posters and the like for the kingdom's army; the library where they lived was only building for miles that had access to do so. It was almost more terrifying how quickly they adjusted to this new war-oriented line of work than the actual presence of it, after all, who reads during wartime? For the next two years, a day wouldn’t pass where Rebekah’s hands weren’t smudged with dark ink. 

However, these ink stains would soon turn crimson with blood when the imperial army broke into Fhridiad, claiming it as part of the ever-expanding empire. It was a brutal clash, the royal guards stationed there were resisting an army three times their size. While Rebekah and her mother retreated into the flow of escaping citizens, her father ran back into their home, attempting to rescue books that the empire would inevitably burn given the content inside. He would not return. Many months into the future, a family friend would send a letter to Rebekah, confirming his capture by the imperial troops. After successfully keeping their lives thus far, the mother-daughter pair decided to flee further north, eventually landing in Galatea territory. They settled as best they could and continued to support the war effort, sewing blankets and distributing rations. Rebekah found this time to be the most vulnerable she had ever been in years. Prince Dimitri was said to be executed, her father was gone, and the Empire's victory seemed inevitable. The despair of her losses threatened to plunge her into a darkness that wouldn't break at dawn.

If it weren't for the letters, that is. 

They were received from… a friend, to put him lightly. Ashe Ubert, temporary overseer of Castle Gaspard territory, and the lone source of her happiness. He sent her a letter every two weeks or so, writing stories about his siblings and cracking corny jokes he knew would make her smile. Rebekah's heart would leap whenever her mother gave her a new envelope, and she would pour over his words until her eyes grew weary. Her mother would wonder out loud if she should change her daughter's surname, to which Rebekah only scoffed and turned pink. After three more years of this, his final letter would come to her a few days before the date of what was supposed to be the millennium festival. He mentioned the promise their class had made to reunite at Garreg Mach for the occasion, and eagerly wrote about how he couldn't wait to see her again. If there was one thing Rebekah was happy about in regards to the war, it was that she had no concrete plans for the next decade or so. Free to chase after this promise, she made her way to the Galatea household, their heir, Ingrid, letting her into the premise due to them being old classmates. Together they decided to trek the dangerous journey back to the monastery. Upon their arrival, the rest came faster than Rebekah ever could've suspected. After countless rumors of their demise, her tears barely had time to dry after seeing the professor and Dimitri alive once more. With the professor's ingenious strategy and leadership on their side again, it was instantly proposed to revive the kingdom army and officially take down the empire. The acceptance of this plan was just as quick; all the Blue Lions, Rebekah included, agreed to stay at Garreg Mach and work together to triumphantly win back their homeland. 

And so now she was here. Basking in the glory of organizing the monastery library.

"As Loog approached Eris, a warm breeze passed through the cliffside they were standing on. The feeling of the air against his skin carried a feeling of memory, and a sense of nostalgia enveloped him. It was a reminder of the start of their adventure: when he was but a simple warrior, and she a maiden of the wind..." Ashe's voice echoed off the library walls, the sound reaching Rebekah just as she shelved the final book. He was sitting at a nearby table, reading from one of his knight's tales in the dim candlelight. Rebekah didn’t exactly know why the professor had sent both of them to arrange only one section. Nonetheless, she was overjoyed to finally be reunited with him after years of only letters. She took a second to admire the completed task, her tidy placement of the various encyclopedias and historical novels a big improvement from earlier. After confirming everything was just the way she wanted it, she walked across the floor to sit opposite from Ashe. Putting her chin in the palm of her hand, she hung on to his every word as he continued his monologue. "Alas, the quickening pace of his heart at the sight of Eris proved that- like emotions- all things change with time," he narrated. 

"Eris stepped forward until she was mere inches from his body, her golden hair flowing in the gust. She gently took Loog's hands in her own, and he realized how truly invaluable she was to him: both as a soldier and companion," Rebekah continued. Ashe looked up at her interruption, meeting her eyes with a small smile. He closed the book and continued speaking, laughter threatening to slip into his words. "Eris felt herself flush when Loog confided this thought to her, her red lips stretching up into a joyful grin. She glanced up at him, eyes sparkling with emotion." 

Rebekah had less self-control than he did, and let out a giggle before continuing to recite the story. "After all this time together, she said, I've never felt happier than I do right now," 

"Would you care to tell me why?" Ashe lowered his voice to a comical level, glancing at Rebekah to see her reaction. She burst into a fit of laughter, and a warmth suddenly spread throughout his heart. "A sm- a small-” Rebekah paused to regain her composure and quickly resumed. “A small smile appeared on Eris's face. I think you already know, she sang to him." 

"You’re right," Ashe continued. 

"Eris-"

"I love you." 

Realizing they both accidentally said Loog's confession at the same time (and to each other no less), Rebekah felt a blush flare up in her cheeks. Ashe was in a similar state from across the table, obviously flustered as he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Should we stop there for today?” he inquired. “I just finished up organizing the shelves, so we should be good to go! Only the rest of this chapter left right? We can meet up some other time to finish it,” Rebekah proposed, a smile across her face. “Of course! I look forward to being with you. To finish the book- I mean. Speaking of, it was really impressive how you could just recite it like that! I thought I was a little weird when I started memorizing it myself, so it makes me really happy knowing somebody else loves it just as much as I do.” Ashe’s words were almost shy as he tucked his hair behind his ear, still slightly red from earlier. “You’re not weird, Ashe. It’s really admirable how you- wait.” Rebekah frowned, her brow creasing. “Hold on.” She slid from her seat, moving to perch on the table right next to Ashe and the storybook. Taking it out of his hands, she flipped through the yellowing pages to the section they were reading earlier. With a small “aha!”, she turned the novel so that it was facing Ashe, her index finger tapping a certain line. "Right here... it says pink lips, not red. It looks like you’re going to have to work on that memorization Mr. Ubert,” she stated, flashing him a wink. Ashe gave a small laugh, getting out of his seat. “Looks like I might! Just don’t go around thinking that I forget everything now,” he teased. 

“Who, me? Never. You’re the one who remembered the promise we made to come back here after all.” Rebekah tilted her head back, leaning on her arms as she gazed up towards the library’s ceiling. “It had almost slipped my mind… I’m really grateful you reminded me about it. Now it’s just like our academy days again! Do you remember how much time we would spend in the greenhouse? You were a pretty amazing gardener.” Ashe’s face lit up as she said this. “I think we spent longer there than in our actual classes! Lots of memories there, huh?” He remarked. Something passed across his complexion, and he suddenly seemed to grow sheepish, shuffling his feet against the floor. “Ah, That reminds me…" he mumbled. He took a deep breath, almost as if to steady his heart, and looked up to meet Rebekah's eyes. "Rebekah, the one to return to Garreg Mach isn’t the only promise that I remember.” 

Rebekah automatically straightened her posture on the table, mouth slightly ajar. If Ashe was referring to what she was thinking... she didn’t even want to imagine the possibilities, in fear of disappointment. While she was preoccupied with her thoughts, Ashe came closer to her, shyly fiddling with his gloves. “That day in the greenhouse… I vowed that until I had the right words to say, I would protect you. Stand by your side and make sure that you're safe... because I care about you." Ashe's voice went quiet as he moved to take one of her hands in his own. Raising it, he brushed a gentle kiss across her knuckles, almost as if he was sealing the sentiment. Had it not been for the very real sensation of his lips against her skin, Rebekah would've mistaken this for a wonderful daydream her mind was conjuring up. He moved to grasp her hand in both of his own, every inch of his face more lovestruck then she had ever seen anybody else’s before. "And… well, I suppose there couldn't be a better time to finally tell you," he continued. "I'm in love with you, Rebekah. Deeply and eternally. I never want to stop being your knight. That is, of course... if you will have me." 

Rebekah couldn’t speak. It felt like she couldn’t even breathe. Everything she had ever wanted had lead up to this moment in time, overwhelming her in the best way possible. Ashe: beautiful, kind, sincere Ashe, loved her. Her own fairytale romance was finally budding into fruition, and she had never felt happier in her entire life. Breaking into a wide smile, she reached up to take his face in her hands, exclaiming:

“How could I say no!? I love you more than anything else in the world!” 

Ashe’s eyes glinted as he registered that she felt the same way, whether from the candlelight or something else. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” he mumbled, gripping the edge of the table to steady himself. Rebekah gave a soft laugh and guided his head towards her until their foreheads were touching. “It’s not.” She tenderly brushed her thumbs over his freckled cheekbones, reveling in the fact those stars now belonged to her. Consequently, it was at that moment both of them realized how close they were, uncomfortably so had it been any other situation. Instinct pulled Ashe forward, but he stopped himself, first and foremost a gentleman. He glanced up at her through his eyelashes, and barely whispered his next words.

“...May I?” 

The breath of the request ghosting over her lips sent a shiver down Rebekah's spine. She didn't answer, instead choosing to lean forward, finally sealing the gap between the two of them. Ashe was still, eyes shot wide open with surprise. Too still, he realized. Despite his desperation to fix that error, he kissed Rebekah back so softly her heart threatened to flutter right out of her chest. His hands moved to gently hold her waist, tilting his head to deepen their connection as much as possible. The rush of euphoria combined with the ever-present lack of oxygen caused Rebekah to pull away from him with a small gasp, moving her hands away from his face to clutch his shoulders. The pair sat there for a few seconds to recover, and started to laugh from sheer joy. 

"So, what now?" Ashe asked once their little fit was done, affectionately bumping his nose against hers. Rebekah giggled at the gesture, but her attitude quickly turned serious. "We keep fighting. Keep believing. Whatever happens will happen in due time, but for now…." She trailed off and lowered her hand, intertwining her fingers with Ashe's. 

"We love." 

Ashe gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I don't think I'll have to worry about that." Rebekah let out a pleased hum, nuzzling her head into his chest. Much to her annoyance, her sense of responsibility still tugged at the corner of her mind. Sighing, she begrudgingly moved away from him. "Should we head back downstairs? We're done with our task." "Well.... we still have a while before dinner," he said, a hint of suggestion playing at his words. A smile flickered across Rebekah's lips, and she grasped the sides of his hood, tugging him close. "Come here." 

Ashe complied and leaned forward, laughing under his breath.