#selfship coded

I don’t think things fully hit until the night before. Months spent with the same person underneath the same roof in a fully funded and furnished townhouse by Maki’s estranged family, yet still somehow never estranged enough. No, I don’t think it had hit that soon I would share the last name of the people who had killed so much and hurt so many. That was until I stepped out onto the back deck in the late hours of the night and saw the flowers that lined the stone railing- flowers that almost looked like a sea of blood. Bright red carnations standing out amongst a dark backdrop overlooking the botanical gardens. It should’ve been so much brighter in the summer. I don’t think anything owned by the Zenins could’ve been considered bright though.

“Geez, those for me or you?” Maki cleared her throat from behind me causing me to glance over my shoulder as she emerged from the sliding glass door.

“Both of us, I think.” I murmured, letting my fingers run along the soft ruffled petals, for a moment almost expecting to pull my hand away and see traces of blood coating my skin, like I really had been playing with a wound after all. “I still can’t help but feel like it seems rather… pointed.”

“How come? Not that I would ever question my family being pointed but-“ She managed a weak and airy laugh, briefly gluing her eyes towards the floor as she shuffled over towards me. And I wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light or what… but Maki almost seemed to appear- somewhat shy, smaller, drawn into herself. Everything that it just wasn’t like her to be.

“‘My heart aches for you.’” I quoted with a hint of dramatization as I tilted the flower her way and carefully brushed it along her chest as if creating some pathway to her heart. “Admiration, fascination, love… though maybe that last part’s pretty obvious.”

She hummed a bit to herself, trailing a finger along the stem of the flower until she reached my fingers, “You know, I- I don’t remember a ton from whenever I was recovering after Shibuya but… this just made something come back to me.” Her fingers slipped around my wrist causing me to tense up for the briefest moment before I could feel her delicately tugging me closer, “Someone came into my room at some point, you know, before I was completely awake… and they just put their hand right here-“ She described just as she guided my hand to press against her chest. “And I swear it just felt like so much of the lingering pain just melted away.”

I could feel the slightest tremble creeping into my hand, and on instinct I nearly felt myself trying to pull it away until she let her own clasp over top of it as if to lock it into place. “Maki, I-”

“You left me one of these, didn’t you?” She held up the carnation I had previously been messing with as she lifted an eyebrow in response. I only responded by moving closer towards her, wanting to burrow my face into her shirt and hide until I didn’t have to think about it anymore. The thing about Maki though was that she didn’t always let me hide. She wanted to have the intense and painful discussions that I was too afraid of. Even if it was just with her. Hell, especially if it was just with her. “You saved me… I treated you like shit whenever you were just a kid and- you still saved me and then kept it hidden for almost a decade, why?”

My eyes burned with tears as my vision seemed to blur, the smallest tremble creeping back into my lower lip, and I almost half expected her to start berating me senseless just like she had every time I let my dreaded sensitivity get a hold of me in high school. To be fair though- I had cried a lot. I was their fragile little healer that they had to protect at all costs, and now I wasn’t even sure if I could do that anymore. I wasn’t sure what I could do anymore. For all intents and purposes I had just simply… stopped. Dropped all forms of sorcery and retreated into myself like a shell.

“Because I just didn’t want to lose anybody else.” I murmured the moment I felt like I could speak without breaking down again. It was then I had noticed the fact that her hand had moved from mine and was instead sitting comfortably around my waist, right at the dip of my lower back where we were only a couple centimeters apart. Carefully I let my finger trace along the border of the scarred skin across her chest, jagged and almost shaped like lightning strikes. I couldn’t heal everything, the scars would likely be permanent with a fair bit of nerve damage too. But it was far less than what it could’ve been. “And I wanted to do something good for once, something besides just… running, you know? I should’ve been there, I could’ve helped… maybe more people would have made it-”

“Shhh… no, baby, so many people’s injuries were so severe you would’ve burnt yourself out on the first go.” Her hands came upwards to rest on my cheeks, thumbs brushing underneath my eyes to catch the tears before they could even start their descent.

God, I’m such a crybaby. A continuous mess with a continuous headache that never seemed to get better. She still wasn’t berating me though. She still wasn’t making fun of me. Still wasn’t calling me every variation of ‘pathetic’ she could possibly think of like she had done before. I almost wished she would. Because that way it wouldn’t be so scary if things changed.

“You’re still not used to me calling you that, are you?” She murmured, hands slipping from my cheeks and gently dragging down the sides of my body. God I never could’ve imagined that she’d feel so warm. For the longest time I almost wondered if she truthfully didn’t have a heart in there, thought that maybe it was encased in several layers of thick ice, frozen over more and more over the years. The moment I laid my head against her chest for the first time I half expected myself to freeze too. She wasn’t cold though, she was soft, she was warm, her touch was the most gentle thing I could’ve ever expected from anything.

“I’m still not really used to you being super soft at all actually.” I murmured, trying to cover up the probably decently harsh comment with a tiny smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. And one that Maki wasn’t buying either.

“Listen, if- if you don’t want this anymore or you changed your mind then-” She paused for a brief moment with her hands gently sliding around my waist to spread out on my back. It still felt like part of her was holding me at an arms length though, a subtle way of backing away, slowly raising a few of her shields without being too cold. She was scared too.

“Maki, no.” I shook my head with a softening expression, carefully pressing my hand back to the side of her chest while the other drifted upwards to rest against her cheek. “I- I haven’t changed my mind, I still want this. I really… really want this I just-“ My throat bobbed as I gulped a heavy lump down my throat, not wanting to say the words out loud. I didn’t even know if I should, what good it would do if any good at all.

“Just what?” She exclaimed with exasperation, eyes still soft but seemed like they were filled with so much more at the same time. She looked like she had been stung, and if I didn’t know any better I almost could’ve sworn I saw them growing glassy. I couldn’t recall if she had ever cried, for the longest time I was almost starting to think she wasn’t capable of it. Even whenever she had thought she lost Mai and seemed to fade into a shell of herself, I still hadn’t seen her shed a single tear. I, on the other hand, was filled with an exorbitant amount.

“Because what if you change your mind, Maki?! What if you marry me and then eventually you get bored or I do something to piss you off and you decide you hate me again?! What if I make you lose your patience?! What if you figure out every single one of my little quirks and you decide that you don’t want me anymore?! I’m so easy to fall out of love with the second you get too fucking close b-but I can’t go through that again, Maki, I just-”

“Then damn it, let me be the one who stays!” The force behind the words were enough to make me flinch even though I wasn’t scared of her. It was never her that I was afraid of. I was afraid of myself, afraid of sabotaging everything I had grown to be so comfortable with. It would be me to fuck things up after all. It was always me. I was always the problem with deep set insecurities that refused to actually let herself be loved. “Let me be the one who stays, baby.” Her voice cracked just as my breath hitched in my throat the moment her hands took mine back into her grip, tight enough to where I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to.

“For fuck‘s sake how do you not see what you do to me?” Her voice was barely over a whisper, her breath a shaking mess while she fought like hell with her own strength just to be gentle. God, just let me be gentle for once.

A sob broke through my words as I finally started letting myself draw closer towards her once more. Finally trying to keep myself from running, “Maki I-”

“You gave me my heart back, you realize that, right?” She interrupted without a moment of hesitation, and my eyebrows furrowed together in almost disbelief as her hands carefully unfolded my own to press my palm right to the center of her chest. “I-I thought my family just ripped it straight out of me but- you gave it back!”

Her sobs sounded so foreign to me, so out of place even as the years of trauma seemed to be hitting her all at once. Trauma that she had never once actually seemed to let herself cry about. To let herself feel anything.

“Look, i-if you don’t want this or you don’t want me then that’s fine but don’t… don’t walk away from this just because you’re scared.” She shook her head, slowly letting her hand uncurl from around my wrist as if a subtle indication of letting go. An attempt to silence her tears before she could even let herself be heard. “A-And I know I fucked up with you, god, I did s-so much wrong and-” The words quickly halted on her lips and died in my mouth the moment I pressed mine to hers. The taste of her salty tears still lingered as I lifted myself onto my tiptoes in a futile attempt to meet her height.

I could feel her breath from a heavy sigh that she finally released from her lungs as her arms caught me around the waist just in time to feel the softest moan sounding from inside her mouth. She still tasted like the whiskey she always swore she wasn’t getting addicted to every time she would stare downcast into a glass of the amber liquid. I had never cared for the liquor before, but on her lips it was the sweetest thing I could’ve ever consumed.

“I want this.” The words barely came out as more than a gasp of air against her mouth, my own hands trailing up towards her shoulders until I grasped ahold of her cheeks. Her cool fingertips ever-so-slightly found their way underneath the fabric of my sleep shirt practically causing me to shiver. “I-I want you.”

“You promise? Y-You have to promise me.” The words almost sounded like a plea before blending into my lips again, her voice dying in my mouth just in time for her to close the distance between the two of our bodies entirely.

“I promise… I promise.” The words almost sounded like a mantra, a desperate cacophony of whimpers and moans while our lips only continued to lock together as if they were permanently bound. And it felt like that in a way. The only pair of lips that I would ever know to this extent & would ever love in this way.

A gasp hitched in my throat the moment I felt my feet leaving the ground, her powerful hands curling underneath my thighs to hoist my legs around her waist. The strength yet gentleness behind her touch was nearly enough to make me whimper, my hands shaking as I clutched onto her shoulders and felt the tiniest ache blooming in between my legs. “Do you trust me, baby girl?” She spoke in between the sounds of our heavy breaths and lips moving together in sync.

“With my life.” I voiced without even a moment of hesitation causing the smallest little smile to tug on the corners of her lips.

“Good.” She spoke through a smirk as I grabbed a fistful of the red flowers with a small squeal before she could swiftly whisk me away inside. “You’re gonna turn our bed into a mess of petals.” She teased ever so slightly just before I could feel my back hit the mattress below.

“Say that again.” I prompted, the shadow of her body crawling over mine just in time to lodge another sharp gasp in my throat as her fingers intertwined with mine to pin my hand to the sheets.

“Our bed? Is that what you want me to say again? Our bed?” She repeated, each syllable sounding more satisfying than the last causing me to hum in delight just before her lips could find mine once more. Her hips felt like they slid in between my thighs so easily, a perfect fit that caused me to shiver at the slightest twinge of friction.

I squeezed her hand for dear life the moment I felt her tongue running along my bottom lip as if begging for entrance, the vibration of a moan from her own mouth seeming to roll through my entire body. The rate of my heart only quickened to a swift gallop in my chest, losing track of my breaths as it became an impossible task just to keep up. The sharpest gasp fell from my lips though the moment I felt her soft lips brushing along my jawline to make a beeline for my neck. “You haven’t let me go down on you yet… why is that?”

I tried not to crumble the moment I felt her lips grazing against my pulse point, hips bucking upwards for the thousandth time as I caught my hands darting for her arms, “I just need you up here… I-I’d feel better if you were up here- M-Maki-“ An anxious tremble seemed to come over me as my arms tightened around her body the moment I felt her lips dip the slightest bit lower towards my collarbone, frustrating tears burning my vision as I burrowed my face into the crook of her neck.

“Shhh… breathe for me, sweetheart. I’m stopping, okay?” Her voice was soothing as she brought her lips back towards the shell of my ear instead, anxious trembles soon being replaced by delicate shivers. “You know I would never touch you without your explicit consent, right?”

A rough lump seemed to form in my throat as I let my hands curl around her biceps. Of course I knew that. Of course I knew she’d never do anything like that. She was barely able to live with herself even after the many times she had made me flinch through no fault of her own. Just unmanageable amount of trauma and anxiety. My brain just kept telling me other tall tales.

“Baby… you know that, right?”

“I-I do. I just-”

“Just what, for god’s sake I need you to talk to me!”

“I am talking to you, Maki, o-or at least I’m trying…”

Maki’s expression softened with a shake of her head, “I know,” She murmured, sounding like it was more so for herself than anyone else has she pressed her forehead to mine, “I’m trying too, baby.” Her fingers interlaced through mine, calloused and rough while feeling like they were completely overtaking my own as she pulled my hand back towards her heart. The smallest gasp always hitching in my throat the moment I felt the scarred skin underneath.

My fingertips continued tracing out the same lightning shaped scars that I had earlier while she hummed in response and let her other hand snake around my shoulders to pull me in closer. The warmth of her body feeling like a soft blanket being draped over my shoulders, “I know… I know that you’ve been through more than I know about, and some probably that I won’t ever know about. And it isn’t fair of me to just demand that information from you whenever-”

“I-I was sexually assaulted… by a curse- i-in the middle of Shibuya.” I spit the words out like I was ripping off a bandaid. A thick bandaid that tore off layers of skin and cut into the muscle below. Words I had only spoke to a handful of people, Nobara, Shoko, Utahime, Yuki in the sense that she had been the one to pull me from the wreckage of my own destruction. And even then I had barely even had to speak the words before everyone seemed to catch right on to the mess that had been made of me. I watched Maki’s eyes grow wide as if in horror, the tiniest tremble creeping back over my body as my eyes started to burn with the same heavy emotions from earlier. “I’ve… I don’t think I’ve ever said those words before. S-Sorry, I- I probably just supremely ruined this I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I let out an ugly sniffle as I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes and shoved myself up to a sitting position.

“No- No, baby, y-you didn’t ruin anything.” She refused to let go of me as she only let herself follow me up, arm still latched around my shoulders though I could feel a subtle loosen. Like she was prepared to let go if I felt the need to push her away. “I- I’m glad you told me.”

I watched her hands curl into fists as she shook her head with a sharp breath, “I just… I hate myself for not making you feel safe enough to tell me earlier.”

A heavy lump of pure steel felt like it was growing in my throat as I slid my arms around my body. “I haven’t told a ton of people… even my brother’s don’t know. A-And you can’t tell them so please-”

“I would never tell anybody about what we talk about, baby.” She whispered in a way that I was almost ashamed to say made me shiver as I felt her fingertips just underneath my cheek. “They would burn the world down if they knew.”

“I almost did myself.” My eyes seemed to flood and grow glassy in response as my bottom lip began to tremble. “That’s- That’s why I freaked out so much & destroyed all of those city blocks and why I refused to use my cursed technique after that. I-It wasn’t- It wasn’t to make you hate me-”

“Shhh… baby I never once hated you.” Her hands came up to cup my face as her lips brushed against my forehead. Years ago I never could’ve pictured myself in such an intimate position with Maki, spilling information that even my own brothers didn’t know. But in that moment it was hard not to tell her everything. Every little secret, everything she had ever lied about, every little flaw and fuck up, everything… “God, I was such an idiot, love. And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.

“I think you already have.”

Maki’s eyes were glassy as the words left my lips, eyebrows furrowing in that same look that she had had since she was a teenager but held so much more depth to it now though. “You have got to raise your standards some.”

I let out a tearful laugh that almost sounded more like a sob as I lifted a hand to brush my own tears away, only to have Maki beat me to it. She went seriously shortly afterwards though, eyes still as gentle as ever as her hands held my face with a level of softness I’m not sure I would ever get used to. “Nobody’s ever going to hurt you like that again… and if they do- god, if they do-”

“Maki, I don’t want you to hurt anybody-”

“Oh sweetheart-” The words came out in a heavy breath as she shook her head in response, “I’d burn the whole world for you.”

Her figure seemed to blur right in front of me, a sheen of tears that she’d never be able to fully brush away. All I could was let my arms slide around her shoulders and press my lips to hers, a kiss that she caught so effortlessly with a rushing breath that ignited against my face. Her own muscular arms encircling around my waist as the robe she wore previously seemed to glide right off of her shoulders, sliding down her arms until she was shaking it off with a fervor that had me giggling in response. “Now- if that wasn’t too unsexy enough for you-”

“Never.” I answered, barely getting the word out before her lips smashed to mine once more, my breath seeming to lodge itself in Maki’s throat until it didn’t feel like I was breathing in anything but the inside of her mouth. Sharp sighs and tongues mixing together, dancing an intimate dance that had my lashes fluttering as she gently pressed me to the bed below. But not in a way that felt forced… it was an offer. An offer to show me that I wouldn’t have a single other sexual encounter that felt forced again.

“I-Is this okay?” She stammered in between the breathless kisses, a look in her eyes that stated she was caught between wanting to devour me as soon as possible and being a gentleman. “I-If it’s not just say the word and-”

“Maki, I know.” I urged, pressing my hands to her chest as if to make an attempt at halting her general anxiety. “I trust you.”

Her eyes softened as if I just said something profound, words I hoped she wouldn’t grow tired of hearing, words that I could barely even recognize myself. How long had it been? How long had it been since I had said those words and really meant them? Too long. A lifetime it had felt like. Even though I didn’t think that there was ever a time that I didn’t trust her.

Her lips were on mine again in an instant, but this time they dared to drift farther, lower, slipping towards my jaw and down my neck in a trail that left my skin feeling like she was burning it wherever she touched. Her hands flew towards the waistband of my own nightdress, a frilly white gown that hung off of my shoulders leaving little to the imagination already. Maki’s eyes then meeting mine with a silent ask of permission, and with a nervous little gulp I nodded.

A shiver passed over me as she pulled the fabric from my body, my eyes briefly widening in almost shock before I felt the warmth of her hands stretching over my skin. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” She whispered before I felt her lips meet my collarbone. A breathy moan spilling from my lips suddenly as I let my back arch from the bed. “God, I love that I’m the only one that can make you moan like that.”

It almost felt like I was writhing underneath her… squirming, my fingers knotting through her hair the lower her lips traveled. A frustrating ache bloomed in between my thighs in response, a sensation of wetness creeping into my core as she made her way down my stomach, a rise and fall with every shallow breath. “Maki-“ I begged.

“Shhh… darling, I’ve got you.” She spoke, eyes narrowing in at the darkening spot soaking my underwear, and I had to fight not to let my hand fly upwards to cover my eyes in embarrassment. Meanwhile Maki’s only grew gentle as they flickered upwards to meet my own with a look of hunger in them. “All of this just for me, baby?”

I couldn’t help it. The words drew a whimper from my lips as her hands delicately kneaded into the plush of my thighs, partially just as a way to pull them apart without being too forceful, I assumed. I nodded in response, hips threatening to buck upwards with the slightest twitch that I knew she recognized. There wasn’t anything she didn’t recognize. “This okay?” She murmured, situating herself until she was positioned right in between my thighs until I felt the softness of her lips brushing against the sensitive inner portion of my skin.

My throat bobbed as I gulped down a heavy lump, not being able to tell if she was going as slow as she possibly could or just simply teasing. Knowing Maki it could’ve very well been a combination of both. My lips parted to release a shivering moan, nodding perhaps for the millionth time as my body writhed underneath her. “Yes… y-yes, Maki please.”

I was a mess, trying not to cry in the most ugly way imaginable as she wrapped her fingers around the waistband of my frilly underwear and peeled the garment down the length of my legs. “Just breathe for me, sweet girl.”

Her lips drew closer and closer towards my center, an ache that only grew and grew until I finally felt the softness of her wet tongue drawing up my slit. Instantly my hips bucked and my back arched at the sensation. It felt good… undoubtedly- jaw dropping to give way to the smallest whimper as I let my hands tangle up into the softness of her dark hair. What felt like the vibrations of a moan coming from her end only added to the volume, a mix of heat from her breath almost making my hips quiver as a whine was brought forth.

Her tongue pressed against my bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure, finally giving way to a full moan as her tongue lapped at the sensitive bud. It was a slow build-up, working me loose from the inside out as I fell apart right underneath her. Her amber eyes briefly glanced upwards to meet my own, as if scanning for any signs of discomfort or distress… all she would meet though was my own eyebrows furrowed in a look that could only be one of intoxicating pleasure.

“Maki-” I exclaimed through a shuddering cry of euphoria at the way her tongue curled around the swollen bud… already breathless, so breathless. Fingers stretching out as if begging for her to take them- a subtle reminder that she was still there even as her face dipped deeper in between my thighs. A lapping tongue soon turning into open mouthed kisses until my back was arching completely off of the bed. Just in time for her fingers to slide through my own, coupled with the gentlest squeeze.

“I’m right here, baby.” She murmured, a string of wetness still attached to her lips before she dove right back in. Tongue slipping through my folds once more, traveling along my inner walls, not wanting to leave anything untasted or untouched. So gentle with all of her movements but it still felt so good… so so good. Relentless but careful as her thumb brushed along my knuckles tracing out all of the little divets and grooves while she sent me to heaven with her tongue. Lapping at my soaked core while my back arched upwards and my thighs clenched around her head.

“O-Oh fuck… Maki- M-Maki, please don’t stop.” I practically whined, almost reduced into squirms underneath her as the sounds of ecstasy coming from my mouth only grew louder.

Maki’s free hand that wasn’t clutching onto my own tightened around my thighs, face almost completely enveloped in my center. All I could see were those amber eyes, and in the end that might’ve almost been the reason that I tumbled towards that climax so quickly. I could’ve laid there bathed in her pleasure forever, mouth agap to accompany a series of moans and whimpers while her tongue ran from my soaked walls to my swollen clit that erupted in pleasure with every sloppy suckle of her own.

“Go ahead and cum for me, sweet girl… I know you’re close, I know it feels good.” She practically cooed, pressing her thumb to my bundle of nerves as if to keep up the constant flow of euphoria. The build up to my climax came out in a shuddering cry, my hands tightening around her green locks as my back arched fully off the bed once more.

Maki let her mouth fully envelop over my pulsating center, taking in every bit of gushing mess as I echoed her name like it was the only thing I knew how to say. And in that moment it was probably was. A climax that left my legs shaking even as she loosened her hold on them. Gradually slowing the pace of her tongue alongside my shuddering breaths.

Her chin still glistened with my arousal even as she pulled away, a darkened look in her eyes as she slowly lifted a hand towards her mouth in a show of cleaning herself. Not without savoring every last bit of it though. “You taste so fucking good, baby.” She whispered, carefully sliding her way up my still quivering body. Not even hesitating before placing her lips on mine, a touch of tangy sweetness still lingering, and I almost felt ashamed to say I didn’t want her to pull away. I felt greedy… oh so impossibly greedy as I let my body roll up into hers. So overtaken by the ecstasy of her I nearly forgot everything else. “Was that good?” She questioned once the two of us finally pulled away, and it took everything in me not to smash my lips to hers once more.

“That’s a bullshit question.” I murmured through heavy breaths, arms draped over her shoulders as she let out a little snicker before letting her head fall right into the crook of my shoulder.

“Looks like I’ll have to have you for breakfast too then.” She spoke, lips brushing against my pulse point. “So… I guess we’re doing this?”

“Yeah… I guess we are.” I spoke with a small sigh, heavy eyes fluttering shut just in time to feel the pressure of her body leaving my own to flop next to me, and upon scanning the sheets myself I could still see the remnants of scattered petals. For a moment this hadn’t felt like some arranged connection just for politics or optics at all. We had made it infinitely more than that.

Just us. Only us.

I inched over onto my side, letting my eyes follow her as she laid out next to me while her own fluttered. A comfortable moment of silence where I caught myself slowly inching closer towards her… inches to centimeters… centimeters to millimeters- until every bit of distance had been covered and I was placing my heavy head on her chest and her arm was sliding comfortably around my waist.

“Hey Maki?” I muttered, eyes briefly flickering upwards to meet her golden ones as she hummed in acknowledgment, the feeling of the tips of her fingers delicately tracing out shapes onto my lower back. “Is it weird to say that I’m proud of us?”

“Nah-” Maki stated through a small twitch of the corners or her lips. “I’m proud of us too… more specifically, you-”

“But-“ I began once more, stubbornly lifting my head from her chest with statements she only silenced with a kiss pressed right to my forehead.

“Hey… get some rest, okay? Try not to think too hard about tomorrow… whatever happens- we can handle it, alright?” Her words were gentle again, pretty reassurances that she knew would always work on me, and I knew I could always trust as well. “Hey, soulmates, right?” Her voice dropped to a whisper making the pink tint bloom on my cheeks again. Nodding once more before I let my head drop back against her chest.

“Yeah, soulmates.”

credits: line dividers & key divider by @omi-resources & support dividers by @strangergraphics 🧡

-You are a student at the academy in the arts and humanities department, a year below Jayce and Viktor, and you have worked your ass off to get here.

-You and Viktor have always gotten along; you were both from Zaun, both scholarship students, and both passionate about your work.

-Viktor introduced you to Jayce shortly after they partnered up, and the three of you become nearly inseparable.

-despite not even sharing a major, you found yourself in the lab during most of your free time, bantering and tossing ideas around, or sometimes quietly working on your own projects.

-for as long as Viktor’s known you, you’ve been energetic and passionate, but recently you’ve been acting a bit differently. Quieter, more despondent. You visited less frequently, and you seemed constantly exhausted.

-the change was gradual, how you seemed a bit more sluggish, had been walking a bit more slowly, movements a bit more calculated. And then one day, you tripped on the stairs while heading to the lab, a sharp pain having shot through your knee.

-you shrugged it off, insisting that you were fine and that it was just a bit slippery, but both of them could tell something was up.

-Jayce was actually the first to notice: how you constantly adjusted your gait, how you would wince at times when standing up, how you consistently had to correct your posture. Something was causing you pain, and you were trying to hide it.

-you were stubborn, and fiercely independent, and as such they were deterred from prying too much

-Viktor was the one who pointed out another clue: your clothes were always long and baggy, as if you were trying to hide something bulky beneath it. He could have even sworn seeing you looking a bit longer than usual at his leg brace one morning.

-in spite of how stubborn you were, they still cherished you greatly. which meant they could not allow you to go on like that,

-and all while they were brainstorming how to breach the topic, you were getting worse.

-the pain made it hard to sleep, the dull aching of the muscles around your spine needling you awake any time you began to drift off. You could feel you knees grinding and creaking with every step up the stairs. Your homemade remedies and exercises could only do so much to help, and you can only take so many pain pills a day.

-you were sick of being dismissed by upper city doctors, who claimed you were “too young” to have such issues, or chalked it up to stress or poor exercise. You had been dealing with these things since you were a child. But you were always told when you grew up, you would get better; stronger even. Now in your twenties, you look back bitterly, having only gotten weaker.

-you had a pair of simple, worn out compression braces for your knees. It had been patched and reinforced so many times that they were god awful to look at, not to mention the embarrassment you felt simply having to keep using them after all this time. They were easily covered up by the long skirts and baggy pants you usually wore.

-aside from that, you had an old, ill fitting corset that you used to attempt some semblance of support for your back. But it was all becoming too much. You had to get help, and soon, before it got even worse.

-as much as you didn't want to burden them, you had no other ideas left.

-right when you came to visit, both of them were already there, discussing the situation.

-perhaps it was the fatigue that made you finally cave, or maybe it was the longing to feel less alone in your pain. Regardless, you found yourself shuffling into the lab with all the energy of a cadaver.

—

“Is it really our place to ask though? If she’s being secretive, maybe there’s a deeper reason…” Jayce was pacing, tossing ideas back and forth in his head. “I mean, isn’t it a bit rude to just…ask out of the blue?” He sighs. “You may have a point, but we know her, Jayce” Viktor rose from his seat, interrupting the path of his partner’s pacing to place a reassuring hand on his arm.

“I…I know, I just-“

He was cut of by the sound of the door creaking open. Speak of the devil.

You looked tired, dark circles much more prominent than usual, and there seemed to be a touch of…anxiety?

“…hey guys. Been a minute.” You smiled weakly as you walked toward them. They looked between each other, as if trying to will the other to say something first. But before either of them could, you spoke up.

“I….you know I hate to ask but… I need your help”

“Of course! You know we’d do anything to help you out, what’s wrong?” Jayce pipes up, smoothly steering you toward a chair. Viktor quietly observes how you slump in relief, despite your posture remaining oddly stiff.

“I…well, uh….” You hang your head and sigh, as you struggle to get the words out “…do you know any good doctors? Preferably unbiased ones?” You muster a dry chuckle. They both furrow their brows in concern. “Of course, but what seems to be the issue?” Viktor chimes in, coming over to stand closer to you. You sigh, eyes once again lingering on his brace and his cane. “It…well it may just be easier to show you.”

You adjust yourself in the chair, and begin pulling up the hem of your long skirt. The two men freeze- you can tell they’re caught off guard by their faces as you do, and you can’t help but laugh a little. You bunch it up in your lap and their eyes land on your patchwork braces. Viktor’s eyes soften sympathetically, and you look away.

“…how long?” He steps closer to get a better look, and the proximity flusters you a bit. Jayce, follows suit, kneeling in front of you. You can them actively going into scientist mode, as you affectionately called it; eyes scanning and assessing your handiwork- or rather, the *failure*of your handiwork. You hesitate with your answer for a moment, eyes flitting between your two friends. There was nothing but sincere concern in their eyes, and you almost felt a bit guilty for not talking to them sooner.

“…not really sure, probably since I was a kid…but it’s only been getting worse. The damn things barely seem to work these days” you grumble, shifting your weight in discomfort. “And I…well I’d show you my back brace too but uh…that can probably wait” you trailed off, face getting warm at the mere thought of having to take your shirt off in front to the two men. You almost swore you saw a tinge of pink to Viktor’s ears as he cleared his throat, but perhaps it was just the light.

“Well, we’re not doctors….but if you don’t mind, would you let us have a closer look?” Jayce asks earnestly as he looks up at you, and you nod. He quickly clears a spot for you on the work table, and gestures for you to hop up. You hesitate for a moment, wearily eyeing the two of them before situating yourself on the table.

If there’s one thing to be said about those two, it’s that they’re efficient. After having you remove your old braces, they immediately set to work sketching, brainstorming, and most importantly- assessing your condition. They ask you more about your condition: is the pain sharp or dull? What tasks or activities aggravate it? How long has it been worsening? Do you take any medications for the pain? Do you have a diagnosis?

Much to your embarrassment the answers were difficult to muster. Most doctors topside would scoff, say you looked healthy enough and that you were too young for such issues, and send you on your way without so much as an exam. “Perhaps you aren’t active enough” or “it’s likely just stress” were the most common responses. This much attention being paid toward you was…odd almost. Refreshing, comforting even, but odd nonetheless.

“Y'know, for a while I was convinced I was just being dramatic… that’s what my last doctor said anyways. So it’s nice to be taken seriously for once!” You beamed as Viktor took notes. At those words, however, his pencil abruptly stopped. Jayce also looked up from the diagram he was sketching with a furrowed brow.

“I’m sorry…your doctor said what?” Viktor inquired, his tone tight and clipped. It quickly dawned on you that you had never seen him look so angry before, let alone on your behalf. It almost made you want to shrink away from that piercing gaze. Instead, you blinked, slowly repeating yourself before elaborating.

“Uh…yeah. My doctor wouldn’t give me a diagnosis or refer me elsewhere, and instead just recommended more exercise…” you scoff mirthlessly at the memory, how you felt so foolish and alone in that office under the doctor’s condescending gaze.

“…needless to say, I don’t see him anymore, aha…ha” you try to fill the silence with an awkward laugh, but neither of them laugh with you.

“And this… happens often? You’re dismissed like that?” Jayce asks, eyes fixed on your legs. It was strange for you to see the two of them so tense, especially on your behalf. You nodded, with a dejected grimace.

“…they usually think someone like me is after painkillers, so I get it- I really do. And it’s true that it’s odd for someone my age to be…well, like this-“ you gesture vaguely to yourself and to your discarded braces with a bitter expression.

“But… I just can’t tough it out like I used to. Even if I am being dramatic” you sigh, the mere act of explaining your situation only furthering your fatigue. “I…I’m sorry, didn’t mean to upset you with my sob story-“

“Don’t apologize.” Viktor cuts you off, his voice gentle, but firm. “Never apologize for this. It was wrong of them to neglect you.” He sets down his notepad next to you on the table, eyeing your old braces with disdain. “I know all too well what it is like. So do not apologize for seeking a solution to your pain.” His tone went soft, gentler than you’d ever heard him. There was none of the usual sass or clinical edge to his words, and in turn it made you feel softer as well. It reminded you why you had come for their help in the first place.

These were your friends- and they would do anything to help you.

“Vik is right. We’re not mad at you, we’re mad at those idiot doctors for not doing their jobs!” Jayce chimes in. It makes you smile, despite the odd urge to cry. Instead of risking tears by attempting to respond, you simply nodded once more. “Once we’re done in here I’ll get you the contact info for my doctor. She’s good at what she does, and Viktor’s been to her a few times. Sounds good?”

You smile, your unease slowly ebbing away

“Yeah, sounds like a plan!”

“So, let’s get to work shall we?”

—

-The two men quickly resumed their work with a new fervor. A prototype sketch was done within the hour, and all that was left before the first draft could be made was the measurements. You knew this part might be a tad awkward. What you did not know, is how unbothered the two of them were when it came to personal space while they were in “work mode”.

-You sat on the table, skirt hiked up to your mid thighs as the two of them sat before you with a measuring tape and a pad of paper, delicately handling each leg as they measured. And soon enough , they began to bicker over the design.

-and you quickly learned that your friends were very hands on with their brainstorming.

“It does not need to be that long, her condition is much different than mine, so the brace must be different as well!” Long fingers slid up your calf, resting just under your knee, gently holding it higher as if to show Jayce his error. “The brace should end here, not there” he asserted, drawing invisible lines over your shin and a few inches above your knee. It took a lot of willpower not to shudder at the sensation. “Any longer and it would be bulky and cumbersome, which is what we are seeking to avoid”

Viktor’s hands were cold, and rougher than you expected, no doubt from years of tinkering and inventing. You were not going to lie to yourself and say you hadn’t stared at them before, as he wrote or worked on prototypes. You also couldn’t say you hadn’t thought about them more…intimately either. How they would feel on your bare skin. But as he drew his invisible schematic on your leg, all your curiosities were answered as you let out a small gasp.

The feeling was nice. A little too nice.

He stopped instantly, looking up with worry.

“I am sorry, did I hurt you? I will be gentler…”

“Ah! N-no I’m fine! Your…uh…your hands are just a bit cold…” you manage to stammer out. There was no way in hell you could tell him the real reason.

“Apologies… I didn’t think about that…” he sheepishly put your leg back down and returned to his notes. Once you were free from the tantalizing sensation of his fingers tracing your skin, you were quickly shackled once more by the feeling of Jayce’s hand cupping your other leg.

“I get that it’s different V, but I’m trying to be practical for day to day wear. If it’s too short, it’ll keep sliding out of place throughout the day! It should start here and end here. So that it’s less likely to ride up or down during the course of the day.”

You could barely process what he was saying, as you were too fixated on the fact that his hand; his very warm hand that was nearly large enough to wrap around your calf, was now resting dangerously high on your leg, just below where you had gathered your skirt into your lap. Any higher and he’d be properly groping your thigh.

Jayce’s hands were rough as well, with quite a few prominent calluses and healed scrapes. The sensation of his palm on the sensitive skin of your thigh sent electricity through your nerves-tingly and warm.

And again. You’d be a liar if you claimed you’d never thought about it. But in a situation like this, sleep deprived and fatigued as you were, it was much more difficult to ignore that fact. The reality of his hands on you made your head spin.

Remain calm. Remain professional.

These are your friends. They are just trying to help.

Damn them for being so pretty

“Well, what do you think?”

“Yes, which do you like better?”

The questions snapped you out of your internal crisis.

“Huh? Oh, right! Uh….” It was difficult to form an answer with the both of them looking up at you so expectantly.

“Is…is there no middle ground? Maybe a m-mix of both?” You offer feebly. They look between each other competitively, before looking once more at their individual notes, and then back to you.

“I…suppose it could be done.” Was all Viktor was able to concede. Knowing how particular he could be, it was the best Jayce was going to get.

“Sorry if we got carried away…you know how we get” Jayce chuckled. “But now that that is out of the way, we can take a look at your back brace now.” He began absentmindedly caressing your leg with his thumb, a reassuring gesture no doubt. Viktor was doing something similar, his hand back under the crook of your knee. But the sensation, and the proximity made you tense up as you averted your gaze.

For a split second, confusion crossed his face-before he realized what he was doing. Jayce abruptly stood up, pulling his hand away. Now it was his turn to chuckle awkwardly, gesturing to Viktor to release your other leg as well. Viktor blinked, looking between you and Jayce, before looking down at the somewhat intimate position the two of you were currently in. He quickly followed suit, scooting his chair back and busying his hands with more notetaking, his ears definitely pink this time.

-you decided to promptly disregard their reactions. You were friends after all! Surely there was nothing else going on right? Anyone would get a little flustered in that kind of position. Your friends didn’t see you like that…right?

-besides, you could’ve sworn they had something going on with each other anyways…

-to remain productive (and totally not because you couldn’t look them in the eye) you got off of the table and promptly told them to turn around so you could get your sweater off

-they quickly complied, and the room was quiet aside from the rustling of clothes.

-not having a proper back brace, you had modified an old underbust corset with additional boning. But now you were starting to outgrow it once again, and there’s only so many times you could take it out before needing to find a new one.

-all you really wore beneath it was a thin slip so that the corset wouldn’t chafe your skin, but it was so flimsy you might as well have just been topless

And there you stood, hands on the table, under the white light of the overhead lamp. You shuddered as the cold air of the lab set in, and your own overthinking sent goosebumps over your exposed skin.

be normal. this is normal.

"Alright, now hurry up I'm getting cold-" you hiss, breaking the silence. You do not turn around, but you can feel their gaze on you; a moment of hesitation before you hear them approach. They are assessing you, yes, but there was something else beneath that as the two scientists raked their eyes over you: something you couldn’t quite place.

Viktor breaks the silence first, clearing his throat. Your eyes are still fixed on the table, the sudden sound causing you to flinch ever so slightly. You hope neither of them noticed. “Well…the design could definitely be worse, I can see where you tried to improve upon it…”

there was a but coming at the end of that sentence. You could feel it.

“But, In the long run it may end up doing more harm than good, considering the state of the garment itself…” he gently taps the row of tattered lacing running down the back. You nod, willing your voice not to crack. “So- what should we do? It’s all I can really afford at the moment…”

“Don’t worry about that- we’re more worried about making sure whatever we come up with is comfortable” Jayce chimes in, retrieving his measuring tape and notepad once more.

“Now, I need you to stand with your back as straight as possible for a moment, can you do that?” You nod, and you can feel him directly behind you as you straighten up. It’s uncomfortable, and you hear a few soft, telltale cracks as you do it. You groan quietly, and you feel him still for a moment.

“…don’t worry about it, just do what you gotta do.” You mumble, shifting your weight between your feet.

“Ah-uh- right! Right…” he laughs it off as he proceeds with his measurements and notes, quick, methodical, and very gentle. Every so often, skin would brush skin, his warm touch would linger, and you became increasingly aware of just how warm he was behind you: like a human space heater. It would be so easy in your exhausted state to simply lean back and melt into his chest, to bask in the warmth amidst the cold air of the lab and fall blissfully asleep.

Instead, with every ounce of composure you had, you avoided dozing off or leaning back. You could feel your eyes getting heavier before the deep timbre of Jayce’s voice brought you back.

“Alright, that’s done. You can rest now.”

You immediately slouch with a sluggish sigh, and you can nearly hear the furrowing of brows and the concerned expressions occurring behind you.

“We can stop if you are too fatigued, we should have enough to get started…” Viktor offered up, now nearly as close as Jayce was. You shook your head, taking a deep breath.

“No, no, I’m fine! It’s better to get this all over with now and save you both the trouble! So what next, huh?” You dredge up any remaining scraps of what could be perceived as enthusiasm as you turn your head to smile at Viktor.

The prospect of doing this again on a different day was already increasing your heartrate to an uncomfortable degree. Believe it or not; being examined by your two incredibly handsome scientist friends while half naked was something very anxiety inducing . Especially when you’ve been ignoring your growing feelings for said aforementioned handsome scientist friends. You felt awful for these thoughts and feelings, of course you did. So what better way to deal with this dilemma than to get it over with as quickly as possible. Right?

Wrong.

“Well, the last thing we really need is uh… well.” Jayce cleared his throat, carefully choosing his next words. “We’d want to get a look at your spine without your brace on, and take a few final measurements…”

Wrong. Dead wrong.

“… you need me to take it off?” You forced a nonchalant tone, unsure if it was convincing.

“Right. The measurements with it on will be slightly skewed since it is ill fitting in the first place…” Viktor added, a twinge of anxiety to his explanation. “But of course, only if you are comfortable doing so!” He quickly added. You began to spiral

Would it be weird to say yes? It would be more awkward if I refuse right? We’re all friends, this is fine! This is in a completely clinical context as well, so-

“Sure. No worries, uh-just… gimme a sec?” You blurted out before overthinking further, your hands leaving the table to fumble with the front closure of the corset. Your friends immediately averted their gaze, but did not completely turn around. Rather than dwelling on it, you focused on trying to get the busks open, before realizing you had laced it a bit tighter than usual that morning, thus making it a bit more difficult to get out of. You would need help. Great. You sigh.

“Uh… could one of you unlace me? It’s harder to get out of like this….”

The quiet that follows makes you cringe, and sets you a bit on edge, before Viktor pipes up behind you.

“Y-yes just a second”

You soon feel his cool hands against your back, nimble fingers finding the messy knot that kept your laces tight and marking short work of it. All three of you were quiet; no banter, no chatting, no bickering. Just the soft sound of laces being pulled through worn down grommets. Once it was loosened, you let out a breath it felt like you had been holding for a lifetime, slouching a bit as your back screamed at you.

Viktor leaned next to you, softly murmuring as he reassuringly placed a hand on your back. “Is that better?” His voice was low, soft, and held a bit of…restraint? You hoped the heat rising to your face wasn’t too noticeable, as the innocent action sent forth a troubling warmth in your gut. Not unpleasant, far from it. But troubling, given the circumstance.

“Mhm… y-yeah that’s better. Thank you” you murmured back, forcing your attention towards getting your corset off. The busks unhooked with ease as you shrugged off the patchwork garment, as well as your undershirt. As it fell to the floor, you instinctively moved to stretch, now free from the compression of your brace. A series of loud pops and cracks ring out into the lab as you did so, causing you to sigh in a unique mixture of relief and ache that you had grown accustomed to.

Once you had finished, you realized two things:

One: you were now completely topless in front of your two best friends

Two: neither of them had looked away this time.

Which could totally mean nothing

Upon this realization you kept your eyes forward, standing up as straight as you could once more, finding balance on the table.

“…well? go on, g-go ahead and look” you commanded weakly. Swallowing the anticipation that came with not being able to see them. Whose hands would you feel now? Whose breath would tickle your ear? You blamed your lack of sleep for how much your mind was wandering.

You felt a warm finger trace slowly down your spine, down from the nape of your neck, past your shoulder blades, before stopping and slowing down even further, following the unnatural curve that ended toward the middle of your back. It was Jayce, you realized. And a part of you was flustered even further now knowing you could tell it was him by just the feeling of his hands.

There was low murmuring, the sound of pencil on paper, and then Viktor’s hand, tracing from the bottom of your spine through your skirt, to the middle of you back before also stopping.

“…you’re too quiet. It’s unsettling” you manage to quip, starting to feel exposed under the bright light.

“…it’s your spine. You should’ve been fitted with a brace ages ago” Viktor finishes tracing his line up your back “a proper one, no offense to your handiwork of course.” He clarified.

“That bad huh?” You huff, wincing at the implication. You had known there was an issue for years now. But all you could do was your best in terms of treatment and preventative care. Every time it had crossed your mind to get checked out, you heard the condescending doctor’s voice echoing inside your skull: “you’re being dramatic.”

“Luckily, It seems manageable with a proper brace, and you already stretch and exercise, yes?” Viktor inquired behind you, his hand now resting on your shoulder. You hummed affirmatively, as you let yourself slouch once more. You knew it only contributed to your poor posture, but the temporary relief was worth it momentarily. The urge to fall asleep right then and there was overwhelming, even despite the cold. You could feel both of them shuffle back a bit as you did.

“Sorry, sorry! Did we take too long? Are you cold?” Jayce apologizes as he tries to get you warm again, picking up your sweater and getting it right-sides-out again. You let out a sleepy mumble as you reach back for it, turning toward him with your hand out.

Turning toward him.

After a few seconds of facing them with your hand out, and being confused as to why they were just standing there, avoiding your gaze, cheeks getting redder by the second; it hit you.

“Oh-oh shit! sorry, sorry, my bad-” you snatch up your sweater and quickly yank it on and you apologize profusely and so quickly that the words were barely recognizable.

Well, you were wide awake now.

You start rambling, trying to cram how you were cold and sleep deprived and achy all into the world’s fastest sentence as you got yourself together, gathering up your discarded braces. The only thing stopping you from bolting out of the door was the grinding of your now fully unsupported knees. You winced as you pitifully shuffled back to your chair, moving to put the braces back on.

The air was thick with…something.

It wasn’t quite tension, and although being a bit awkward it wasn’t quite full on embarrassment either. But it was something, and it was intense.

“….I’ll get going then…“ you murmur, standing on unsteady legs. Except now you weren’t sure if you were unsteady because of the pain, or because of the dizzying memory of their hands on your skin.

For a moment, your fatigue catches up to you; your legs feel like static and your vision blurs around the edges. Before you even have the chance to stumble, Jayce’s arms are around you.

“Easy there! Just give us a second, we’ll get you back to your dorm okay?”

“But-“ you were cut off by the sound of Viktor shushing you and guiding you over to a couch in the corner of the lab. The two men eyed you with a seriousness that felt strange in comparison to your usual lighthearted interactions. But it was oddly comforting now, as you let yourself sink into the plush sofa

“Rest for a while, you don’t have any more classes today, right?” It was less of a question and more of a reminder, as he retrieved a blanket to drape over you. You really had no say in the matter, and the couch was so comfortable….

You felt relieved, cared for, and so so very sleepy...

So you fell asleep.

Once you were certifiably slumbering, your two impromptu caregivers let out shuddering breaths they hadn't realized they were holding, exchanging knowing glances.

Little did you know, they had been struggling just as much as you, if not more.

"....Let's get back to work." Viktor mumbled, forcing his eyes away from your relaxed form on the couch. He gripped his cane tightly as he turned away, retrieving his notes. Upon noticing Jayce hadn't moved yet, he huffed at having to repeat himself.

"Jayce."

"Right! sorry..." Jayce nodded, slowly backtracking to the main worktable. Couldn't help the deja vu that hit him as he remembered your topless form leaning against it, illuminated under the overhead light. He groaned and shook his head.

"Heaven knows we need the distraction."

--------

tadaaa*~~~ took me long enough! p2 will be up relatively soon, i just needed to stop nitpicking.

"Hey!" You laugh, still holding the tablet pen in your hands, "I was using that."

"Well you aren't anymore, are you?" The bite in his teasing has dulled a little with the length of your relationship but the tone largely remains the same. Your tablet is discarded on the couch beside him, far from your immediate reach. You sigh like it's an inconvenience, but hand him the pen anyway so he can click it to the magnetic strip. "See, you're done. Didn't even fight me on it."

"It's late anyway." Roman rolls his eyes, like that really has anything to do with it, shifting closer to you again, arm draping over your shoulders. He smells like an early morning and late night all at the same time. His cologne of the season - something woodsy and clean that you couldn't remember the name of, along with sweat, coffee, and trace hints of... whisky, maybe.

"If it's so late, then we wouldn't even be out here," his fingers fidget with the edge of your collar before flattening it out again, "we'd be in bed."

"When have you ever gone to bed at a normal hour, Rome?" You reply, leaning your body weight into his side, head nearly laying on his shoulder. "When have I?"

"Mm... you'd be in bed by eight most nights if it wasn't for me. You're lucky you get to spend as much time with me as you do," his voice almost goes soft, fingers trailing along the hem of your sleeve. He's not wrong, either. You do feel lucky for the late night hours that you steal together in lieu of sleeping or being more productive.

Silence falls over you both and it's only because you stopped entertaining Roman's quips. Your hands, empty now, find his and force the contact, twisting your fingers together. A smile tugs at your lips and you shut your eyes, finally laying your head back against his shoulder.

"Stupid," he mutters under his breath, flexing his fingers in yours, but making no move to pull away.

Utahime was never one to spare any expense whenever it came to the holiday season. She was a giver, in every sense of the word. Even whenever it meant shutting down her usual duties for jujutsu society and whisking you away to perhaps one of the grandest cabins you had ever seen and filling your schedule with as many holiday activities as she possibly could. You almost felt bad to think that you hadn’t expected it of her. She was so serious with her work. Stern. Absolutely brilliant of course. But lately you found that you had only reduced her to this giggling school girl every time you were nearby.

“My darling? Are you almost ready?” You heard the familiar singsong voice from up the stairs causing you to pull your head from the snow boots currently encasing your feet, laid right next to a pair of ice skates you had admittedly been avoiding. The question was of course funny. Nine times out of ten you were usually ready before her. At least whenever it came to a time like this whenever she was pulling out all the stops.

“Ummm, mostly?” You spoke, already hopping up to your feet the moment you heard the steps creaking with every one of her foot falls. Already you were trying not to squeal at the sight of her bundled up in her excess layers, but what really made your heart flutter was the knitwear that seemed to overtake most of her winter wear. A green sweater, a multicolored scarf, a red hat that replaced her usual bow- they were all things that you had spent ages on in the past trying to knit to perfection. For some reason seeing her in so many of them never failed to make your cheeks flash as red as the hat. “Hime… is that-?” You questioned, rushing at her in a way that had her chuckling as you tangled your fingers up into the eccentric scarf.

“Well obviously- there’s not many other people I trust to keep me warm in the winter other than yourself.” She stated with a little grin as her hands briefly encircled around your waist to tug you closer. Eyes scanning down the length of your body until they met the snow boots on your feet. “We’ll deal with the ice skates later.”

The excited grin on your face shifted into one of mild worry, as if you had been caught almost. “Hime, I’m not so sure-”

“Shhh-” She ordered, pressing a firm finger to your lips that had your eyes widening ever so slightly in response. “You know the drill, you’re not chickening out. And I would never let you fall.” She insisted with a warm smile tugging on her lips before sliding her gloved fingers through your own. “Now… let’s get going.”

She snatched up the ice skates you had tried to forget about without a second’s hesitation before the two of you began your venture outside. The cold was biting, but the sight of the snow surrounding every inch of the land made it bearable. Utahime was a good addition too, one arm securely wrapped around your waist while the other held onto the skates. Meanwhile the sun’s glow casted down over the land gave it an almost glittering effect.

The walk towards the frozen over lake wasn’t a long one by any means & she had timed it perfectly. Waiting for just the right temperature and the ice to be thick enough for you both to skate on it safely. Utahime always thought of everything though. You’d be hard pressed to find something she just glossed over.

“Alright- sit… I’ll put them on you.” She remarked with a glimmer of triumph behind her eyes before placing her gentle hands on your shoulders to push you down onto the wooden bench causing your cheeks to flush once more in a way that was most certainly not due to the weather. This time at least.

“You know I can at least manage to put on my own shoes.” You stated even though you ultimately knew that she wouldn’t have it.

“Heaven forbid I’d like to spoil you.” Utahime teased before brushing her soft lips against the top of your forehead before kneeling right at your feet. Knees encased in the snow without hesitation as she reached to pull the boots from your feet, all the while leaving your cheeks as rosy as ever while she gingerly slid the skates on to replace them and tying them tightly around your ankles. “Alright. Up.” She ordered, knees caked in snow by the time she stood up again and extended her hands for you to take.

Your eyes narrowed in on the patterned gloves, knitted by you of course, all the while you were two minutes away from just sitting on your own entirely in some futile attempt of avoidance. “Honestly, for heaven’s sake, darling.” Utahime rolled her eyes before reaching out to grab your hands herself.

“Hime!” You echoed through a shaky voice as she pulled you up on your wobbly feet. Hands quickly darting around her shoulders the moment you started to stumble, and it only made her start laughing at you.

“Darling, you simply must relax, the more tense you are the more difficult it will be for you to stand upright.” She chuckled with a shake of her head before catching you right around the waist. “What did I tell you?”

You only grumbled in response, a sound that was barely audible before her eyes narrowed a bit, and that was all it took for you to speak up with a clear of your throat. “That you won’t let me fall.”

“Then trust me- I wouldn’t lie to you.” Her words were soft and sincere as she leaned in to place a delicate peck on your lips. A subtle touch that always had your insides warming despite the frigid temperatures surrounding the two of you. “Now… are you ready?” She began, a question that gave way to a moment of hesitation that, despite her pushing, she would’ve gladly waited through as long as she needed to. Finally you gulped the heavy lump of nerves down your throat with a nod though causing a small smile to tug on the corners of her lips. “Good.”

Slowly her hands slid downwards to slide through your own gloved hands, you did as you were told, trying to relax your quivering muscles as she pulled you forwards, giving way to awkward steps as you tried to get used to the skates. It always felt as if Utahime was a natural on the ice however. A moment of quickness that had your breath hitching the moment she glided backwards onto the rink… and carried you right along with her.

You were of course rather unstable at first, stumbling in a way that almost had you fearful that you were going to pull her down with you. Quickly though she was disconnecting your hands and pulling you into her once more, a move so swift you barely even registered that for a moment she wasn’t even holding onto you at all. And yet you were still upright.

“Better?” She questioned, a hint of another chuckle behind her words that she was clearly trying to hold back.

“Much.” You admitted, bundling your hands into the knitted scarf as you let your cheek squish against her shoulder. “Though I’m admittedly really trying not to squeal in a rather embarrassing fashion.”

That was what ultimately brought out the laugh from Utahime as she let her arms tighten around your body for a brief moment, “You know you can squeal all you want to with me, my love.” She chuckled, soft lips brushing against your temple that almost had your eyes fluttering shut despite the amount of nerves you had had before. “I don’t know though, the shaking has stopped… and you actually seem to be pretty calm as of now so-”

“Hush.” You murmured into her shoulder with a little huff that she only met with a snicker as she continued your slow dance around the ice.

“In that case… I’ll leave you with this… you’re the best gift I could have ever received. So hopefully- I can find some way to measure up.” She spoke, seriousness finally setting back into her tone as she leaned her head against your own.

There it was again… heat seeping through your skin in a way that only she could manage during a season such as this one. “You measure up more than you know.”

Credits: dividers by @cursed-carmine

His eyelids drop as he watches her walk out of the bathroom and join him on the bed.

“You’re not a headfuck… you’re probably the least evil person I know.”

“I do pride myself on being ‘the least evil’ person I can be,” her expression softens though her curiosity remains for why the compliments started.

His hand reaches up to wipe away water from the side of her mouth and because she’s her, she brushes her lips along his knuckle. She’s pushing it, she knows.

But because she stops herself, Roman doesn’t have to do it. He likes that. The silence stretches on almost too long before he lifts himself up onto his elbow, other hand landing on her ankles where they’re crossed.

“You barely ask to stay over, you don’t ask about the trust or whatever is going on with my dad…” As soon as his hand is on her ankle it’s off, disconnecting them again. 

“I trust that if you want to tell me, you will,” her shoulders shrug when she speaks. Every inch of her is screaming to run her hands through his hair or rub her hands over his forearm where it’s still placed between the two of them. 

Trust was a heavy word for Roman who for the better part of his life genuinely could not trust a single soul, but she makes it sound so easy. Lily trusts him. She says if but he can really hear she means when. 

His mother’s words ring in his mind and he takes a deep breath before asking, even if the words should be heavier on his tongue, they come out like cotton candy. 

“What if I was prepared to marry you?” Her head tilts forward and to the side in immense but quiet disbelief. She waits just long enough for him to smile up at her, not conniving but plotting. He prods, “so is that a no?” 

“No!” Much too quick. Lily shakes her head and puts both of her hands on top of his. “Sorry, it’s not a no, no. I… I guess I was waiting for you to tell me you were messing with me.”

“Ah.” She has a point, he thinks. “No, just… Shiv’s getting married, Kendall gave it a shot… and you, you’re…” 

“Fuckin’ great?” Lily repeats his earlier words which gets a nod in return.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. You’re fuckin’ great…” his eyes dart away from hers towards the door, deflecting away a moment the intense gaze she now suddenly holds on him. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Oh, holy shit?

Roman props up fast enough to where it actually startles a laugh out of Lily, leaning back on her hands away from him out of reflex. 

“Yeah?” He asks and there’s actual glints in his eyes as his hands grab at her wrists to pull her back and close some of the distance.

“Yeah, Roman, I’d marry you.” Roman crashes his lips into hers and the kiss is sloppy, unrefined, there is no found rhythm between them. It makes her laugh when they break apart, grinning at him with the brilliance of winning the lottery.

The moment doesn’t last long enough for Lily’s liking, Roman’s attention is already on the dinging of his computer, but she still counts herself lucky. Between asking her to marry him, sort of, and how before he gets up he quickly presses his lips into her cheek, her neck and her shoulder. 

She watches him for a long moment before getting up to press a kiss to the top of his head, holding onto his cheeks to hold him still long enough to be satisfied. 

“Goodnight husband,” she teases as she lets go. He swats at her lightly, a smirk betraying the fact that maybe he does enjoy hearing that from her mouth, shooing her away to bed.